Under the Gun

I have fallen off the proverbial blog wagon yet again! I get into a rut and it sucks me down even deeper!! I have actually been working on a HUGE Project for work the past several weeks and it SUCKS big time!!! So all my blogging time flew right out the window. For that I apologize. I have so much to catch you all up on. But I can't do it this very moment. Please pray that I can get through this project with out harming, maiming or killing any co-workers! That would be really BAD for business!!! :(
(Not to mention that it would probably be hard to blog from a Jail Cell)
I love you all!!! And I miss you all so terribly!

Hall O Weenie!!!!

Guess what? Halloween is starting early this year!! The Crimson Quill book club is holding the October meeting tonight!! And we are all dressing up!! How fun does that sound? I'm super excited about dressing up. For the last few weeks I had planned on going as Hippie but then one of the girls thought we should dress up as characters from the books we have read over the last year. Is that not a great idea? I won't tell you all who I have chosen cause I don't know who all is reading today! Hopefully the book club gals won't be reading this!! :) Love ya!!
Well I found my costume hanging in the back of my closet... Which is how most of my Halloween costumes begin... Yes I am one of "Those" adults!!! Which really I guess I need to use the term "adult" loosely!! :) I truly love to dress up for Halloween now that I am grown. I think it is so much fun! Growing up my mother was VEEEEEEEEEEEEERY strict about things like that. So we were not allowed to dress up for Halloween. But being we were Catholic my mother would let us dress up the following day on All Saints Day as a Saint of "our" choice... But we couldn't trick or treat or anything like that. It was pretty Lame!!! Let me tell ya... Holy cow when I look back at memories like that it sometimes scares me. I think of how much I want to be a parent and then I remember how psycho my mother was and I know I have her blood running through my veins... Will I become that crazy mother?


WoOOOOOOOOAH I need to stop this horse now! I was soooo not going to go there but it happened anyway. Those crazy childhood memories creep up out of no where sometimes.

Getting back to my costume!! It's just a simple white night gown that my mother in law had purchased from some old lady who makes lace & woman's old fashioned garments. So she bought me a very long, very old fashioned white nightgown. Which is actually quite pretty for oh say 19o1! But it's just a little too humble and quaint for my bedroom attire.... Mind you I don't wear leather and chains! I just don't wear 5 yards of fabric to bed each night!!! :) God bless her! I would love to have seen what was going on in her mind when she saw this thing!! Was she thinking: mmm you know Mrs. Farmer really would look nice in this? Or maybe if I buy this Mr. Farmer defiantly won't chase her around this house in this one... Poor girl, could get her rest on the nights she wears this one...

Any way getting back to the reason I'm posting! I'm going to wear a long sleeve shirt underneath and buy some wound dressing tape. I'm going to put some fake blood on the tape and then place the tape on the white gown. And then I will be going as a murdered woman! Won't that be interesting? I can't wait to see all the other girls' costumes! I think were going to have a blast tonight. Hopefully I will remember to take pictures!
Love to you all!!

Ditsy Brunette Moment

Do you know that it actually took me 2 WHOLE weeks to figure out that I could play on the Internet with my Kindle!!! What the hell is wrong with me? I got the one with 3G so I was shopping on amazon all the this time for books. But for some unknown reason I didn't get the memo that I could surf the web with it!! I was literally lying in bed last night when I found the search tab... Holy Cow I swear I heard angels singing! Hallelujah! Yet another device to feed my addiction! I thought I was just going to use this for reading books!! Hells to the no WAY! I have a whole new avenue of blogging now. Not that I can blog on this thing very easily but I can at least do it when I think of something short and sweet to say to all my lovelies! That would be you all! And no, don't even ask me to tweet! I don't think my brain could handle another addiction!

Any-hoo I just thought you all might find my ditsy moment amusing. It's actually quite sad... I'm so terribly stupid when it comes to technology of any sort. So please bear with me! I'm just a little ole country girl!

Im actually writing this post from my bed! holy cow i love my kindle!! just thought iwould share that with you all!

love you & goodnight

5

This number has been burned in my head for weeks now. It's a number I'm beginning to hate actually. Who could hate an innocent little number like 5? I remember when I was 5. I was soooo ready to go to school. I wanted to be a BIG KID so bad! My lovely sister Retta was a "Big Kid". She was a whole 5 years older then me. She had everything I wanted. She was a blond. I was brunette. Her hair was long and straight. Mine was crazy and frizzy. Retta could always manage to get through conversations with out saying something backwards. I on the other hand always made a fool of myself. Thank you dyslexia. She never had the wild temper I had. Or the crazy impulses to jump into mud puddles. Or run wild though the woods all day. She was always the clean, pulled together, matchy matchy sister... Where I was the sister with the tousled hair and mis matched socks...

Now here we are at 28 and 33 and she is pregnant with her 5th child. My sister has never had one health issue... (Scratch that she is fucking nuts!!! :) She is married to a lifetime student. My brother in law will be 34 does not work. He is a FULL TIME student!! My sister does not work either. She actually home schools my nephews. They just moved into student housing at his newest school about 2 months ago. And she thinks it's time to share the news that they adding one more to there litter.... She is 22 weeks along. She just told my parents last week. Half way though her pregnancy she decides to drop the news to them. She told me 3 weeks before that.

Can you tell how excited I am?

The past 2 maybe 3 years they have lived with his family while he finished one of his many degrees. He graduated from that school this past May. My family actually thought he might begin to use all of this knowledge he has built up and get a JOB with it. But no!! To our surprise he applied at yet another school. But now at this school, he can on a occasion student teach. Oh and lets not forget, he has been published in a few journals!! ::::::Insert eye rolls and yawns:::::: But nothing high paying... He has no steady income, except grants & scholarships! My sister actually went to college got her degree and used it to teach English in a private academy. So yes she is capable of getting a good job. My Bother In Law is going to school to become a priest in their religion so yes it takes time to do that. BUT why would you keep adding all these mouths to feed if you aren't going to be the one to feed them? I don't know what kind of State assistance they get. I'm not really that close with my sister. When she lived her we used to be. But she has done so many bizarre things over the past few years that I don't even want to be associated with her. Much less be known as her sister. I'm just flabbergasted that someone like my sister who doesn't own a home, has NEVER had to buy a vehicle, (They have always been donated to them by very caring, fellow church members. ) can shoot babies out like a human Pez Dispenser!!! What the Fuck?

There really is NO justice in this life!

When I was little, anytime someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told them I was going to be a mom. I have dreamed of being a mommy my whole life. And here I am thrown right back to that 5 year old backward little girl with the messy hair. Who's older sister could do everything I wanted and but never could.

2 year Blogversary!!

Wow where has the time gone? I never thought in a million years back on that September afternoon in 2008 that 2 years from then I would still have empty arms, just waiting for a baby to fill them. Or begging my mother in law to eat every day. Oh and having to know that in the time it has taken my sister to bring 3 children into the world I haven't even brought one in to it.

I'm a little melancholy today. Even though Mama farmer was released from the hospital about an hour ago. We have her snuggled in on the couch. She tells us she is not hungry but she has strict orders to eat every 2 hours. But she is as stubborn as the colt standing in the lot out back. The doctors said it wasn't her gallbladder causing her trouble it was from the lack of nourishment... She is starving herself again. She doesn't want to deal with the nasty side effects of having most of her colon removed so she doesn't want to eat any solid food now. Which has in turn put her in the hospital for almost 5 days filling her body back up with protein, potassium, & calcium, which she has starved her body of. She kept telling us she was eating. But we aren't there with her all day. I want so badly to take a way the pain of cancer and the pain of all the belly issues involved but I can't. I can only watch as she deals with it the only way she thanks she can.... Mr. Farmer and I had a fight last night and I know it was mostly because he is so concerned about his mother. This his fuse is short. They have such a close relationship and this whole thing is killing him. He wants her to see his future children and to look forward to the future with him and our family. My heart is bleeding because of the unkind words we said to each other. Even though I know it's because we are maxed out. We have hit the boiling point and it's effecting our home life!!

CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm praying that this last time in the hospital will have scared her into changing her ways. She has until Tuesday to keep her levels up at the same if not better then what they were this morning. Please Pray that she does! They won't do anymore chemo until she gets her body into a little bit better shape. Her little body is so frail. He skin hangs like a hobo's rags. She was always a very curvy lady. She was beautiful and vivacious. Loud and unafraid. Now I feel that cancer has seeped into her very soul and robbed it of our dear Mama Farmer. That Evil Bitch: Cancer has used her nasty black tentacles and wrapped them around our hearts and is squeezing... I don't know when she will let us go... Or if she ever will.

Can I go back to 2008? Please...

Day 25 & Day 26

Sorry I'm not being very good at this but Mama Farmer has gone back into the hospital so please keep her in your prayers. This last round of chemo has really whooped her but. She's in a lot of pain and they are thinking right now that she may have an infection from the fluid build up coming from her liver. I know she wants to avoid the hospital as much as possible but right now it's the best place for her to be. They are also thinking of maybe taking her gallbladder out because she is having a lot of trouble with EVERYTHING she eats. Maybe this will solve something... I don't want her going through more surgery but hopefully they can do this laparoscopically. But any how please keep the family in your prayers this week it's been kind of bumpy. Hopefully I will have better news tomorrow. Oh and my sister is pregnant again!!!!!!!!!! (this will be her 5th child) Please some one shoot me in the HEAD!!!!!!!! My mom just found out today and just shook her head and said why can't it be you and Mr. farmer? You guys have a home, good jobs, plenty of money! And then she said Mr. Farmer would be such a great daddy!! I just said Thanks Mom!! But I was quite snarky when I said it. This is the 1st time I have ever mentioned our problem to her. She said it really confuses me why G-d allows this? Yep me too Mom!!!

Day 24

Where I live

I will show you all where I live. But I won't tell you where. :) Sorry but that's just how I roll! I'm sure there are some who could figure it out easy enough but I like living in my semi anonymous town of Farmerstown.

I'm sure you all know by know that I live on a farm and my Farm is in the great state of Indiana. The heartland of our beautiful country. My Hubby and I live on the farm that has been in his family for many generations. We grow grain and melons on our farm. We live in an old farm house that has been added on to in about 10 different directions (and it's still not nearly big enough) but we love it. Just about everyone on our old country road is related to my husband. Usually a cousin, uncle, parents or shirt tail cousin (2nd cousins or farther back.) It can get a little confusing because the family name is the same on just about every mail box on this road... I laugh when I have to give directions to someone new because I just say count the mailboxes with Farmer on it and when you come to the 7th Farmer mailbox you've found us!! :) Living in a community like this has it's ups and downs. I love the fact that if I'm out in the yard working I might have to stop 2 or 3 times to chat with the neighbors when they drive by. But then again if I'm working in my yard and I want to get done before dark it's hard to stop, because I have such friendly neighbors. It's a catch 22! You can't run away when they pull in the driveway... Boy would everybody talk about me then!!! We live off the beaten path. I love that I don't have to lock my doors. I love that I know every person driving down this road. And if their teenage son is driving too fast somebody is going to hear about it... Yes it's one of those neighborhoods!! Back when Mama Farmer was in the hospital for all those weeks it seemed like there was always something hot sitting on our stove when we came home from sitting up at the hospital with her. We didn't always know who brought it over. But it was nice to know somebody cared. I wouldn't trade this place for a million dollars! I'm sure people may think where I live is a lot like Mulberry (Andy Griffith's Home town) and the people may seem naive or not near as up to date as the bigger cities but I would rather wave a hundred times a day as I'm heading to town, then be ignored or snubbed in a big city. I lived for a short time in one of the bigger cities near our home and it was such a lonesome feeling. I would pump my gas and the clerk never said a word when you paid them. I would drive the same route every day to work and not see the same face twice. But here the clerks at our (one and only) gas station know who I am and ask about my family. I wouldn't trade that alone for anything. This is my home and where my heart resides. It's not fancy but it's ours. This little house has been in the family for years. I hope one day to pass it along to the next newly married couple.

Thanks for visting our little home

Day 23

A YouTube video



I am going to skip today's 30 Day Blog Journal question because: reason number 1 I'm not a YouTube hound. I can only think of about 3 clips I have ever seen on YouTube. They were each fertility related. And reason number 2 guess who has come to visit the Farmer household? I bet you can't guess!!!!!!!!!!!...

Are you guessing?



Think Really Hard...



Doo Dooo Doooooo DOOOO DOOoOo DO!!! Da Do DOOOOOO DOOOOOoooo DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Do!!! Da DO DOOOOOOOOOOO Dooo DOoo!!! Da Do







That was my impersonation of Jeopardy... I know it sounded just like it too!







Anyway the number 2 reason why I'm not posting about YouTube today is: As some of you may know I have been working out. But not just working out. I have been going to Zumba. Which kicks your butt! But is freaking fantastic!! Anyway I think all this working out has actually paid off by exercising some of my demons out of me! And just what demons do I need exercised you might be asking? Well numero uno demon being my being the lack of AF!!! Well as of today I don't have a lack of her anymore!! I naturally had a period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



:::::::::::::PAUSE for HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::



Can you freaking believe it? I can't!! I'm really just in a state of awe right now! Even though I feel like an elephant that needs to go on Jenn.y Craig. And I've been packing around an invisible devil child on my back, who's been beating my head in with a Tonka Truck daily now for a week. Oh and lets not forget my zits! Holy Cow the Zits!! They are now the size of Texas. But really I am freaking fantastic!! I feel like I've actually accomplished something!!! I haven't really lost pounds because PCOS being the bitch that she is won't let go of the weight. But I am still losing inches!!! Which is awesome and I'm gaining muscle. So I'm not going to complain at all!! I actually was starting to worry this past week cause I felt so shitty. I almost bailed on my Zumba classes mon & thurs night cause I felt so terrible. But I thought I would just go and try and muscle though them. And just leave early if I couldn't make it. But I made it through and then this morning I got a lovely gift. Something I have worked so hard for!

Day 22

A website

I actually wrote about this website y-day in my blog post. It is run by The Pioneer Woman. And as most of you know she is MY HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh how I love that gal!! I must admit I do love her more than my luggage... One of her famous quotes!!


The site I want you all to visit is is her cooking site: The Pioneer Woman's Tasty Kitchen I think I stop in here at least once a week for a new idea for dinner. I get so tired of the same old, same old every week. I need a little spice in my life!! And PW gives that to you in mason jar fulls! Stop in and find something for dinner tonight! You won't be disappointed!!!

Love ya!!!!

Day 21

A recipe





Red Velvet Whoopie Pies





These things are heavenly!! The best way to eat these is either slightly cold to nearly frozen. That way the ooey gooey goodness doesn't spill out all over your arms and shirt. I found this recipe on The Pioneer Woman's Tasty Kitchen website back around the 4th. I was really wanting to find a new dessert recipe that would be red, white & blue. So when I found this I had to make it. Well every family gathering since the family has asked me to bring them. They are always a huge hit. And kids LOVE THEM!!!!! So try it out! And really it's such an easy recipe and you can actually change the cookie from, red velvet to a devils food, or spice cake or any old cake mix will do.

Ingredients:
1 box (18.25 Oz. Box) Red Velvet Cake Mix
½ cups Vegetable Oil
2 Tablespoons Water
2 whole Eggs
1 stick Soft Butter
1 cup Powdered Sugar
2 cups Marshmallow Cream
1 teaspoon Vanilla

Directions:

The cookies:Combine dry cake mix with oil, water, and eggs. Use a 2-oz. cookie dough scoop to drop scoops of dough onto ungreased cookie sheets 2 inches apart. Bake at 325 degrees for about 13 minutes. Cookies should be firm enough to handle, but not overdone and crispy. Cool on wire racks. Then make sandwiches with filling.
The filling:Beat together butter and powdered sugar. Beat in the marshmallow cream and vanilla, blending until smooth. Spoon 1-2 tablespoons of filling onto the bottom of a cooled cookie. Press the bottom of another cookie on top of the filling to make a sandwich. Repeat with remaining cookies and filling. Store pies between layers of waxed paper in an airtight container and refrigerate for up to 2 days.

Variation: use Devil’s Food Cake mix!

Day 20

div>My Hobby

I think my one hobby that I adore is taking pictures. I <3> my camera!!! We have a love hate relationship at times. Some days I love the pictures I take and some days I hate them. I wish I had the time to take a photography class. One of these days I will force myself to. These are a few pics from around the farm that I took that I half way like.

Day 19

A talent I have

I have thought about this all day!!! I don't have a whole lot of talents but the one I'm going to share with you may surprise some.

My father was raised running around the in woods on our family farm. His love was hunting and shooting. My great-grandfather taught my father how to shoot at a young age. This grew in my father to become a HUGE passion!! His life really! His knowledge of guns, hunting and sporting grew as he got older. He actually was always helping neighbors and friends learn to shoot, or fix older guns. Or just hanging out on the weekends shooting targets. When he got into his 30's the demand for my father's expertise grew and so he opened an actually store to help people. We always had a gun range (a large expanse of ground with targets at one end with a large berm behind them) at our home for teaching and for sighting in. My father taught my sister, brother and I how to shoot at a pretty young age. We are all quite good at it now. In fact my brother was in a junior Olympic competition when he was younger. He is in the military now and his job is based on his skill with guns. For my sister and I it was an embarrassing talent to have as a young girl. When you can shoot/hunt better then the boys. They tend to be a tad afraid of you. So my sister and I kind of kept our talent hidden when we could. But when we wanted to show off we could really shock them!!! It was a little difficult when we started dating also... Guys really feared our father (and I think at times us too) because of his (our) exceptional talent... :)
So that is my talent! I shoot guns very well!! I think my Red Neck is showing!!! :) And now I'm going to go hide my red neck and red face (red faced: because I have throughly embarassed myself by admitting this here!!)
I guess I can now kiss all my followers goodbye because they didn't know how much of a Hillbilly I really am!!!

Please Don't hate because I'm a Red Neck Woman!!!

Day 18

My wedding
Instead of re-writing a post about my wedding I think I'll just give you a link... I'm so lazy I really don't have any idea where the CD went that had our digital wedding pics on it. So I'm just kind of blogpost recycling!!!


My Wedding

Love you all!!!!

Day 17

An art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)

I have to say Maxfield Parrish is one of my all time favorite artists. I remember as a child wishing I could climb into his paintings and play with all the beautiful people. Ahhh he was a true master!!!! And really he was kind of handsome too!

These are just some of my favorites

His work is so breathtaking!!!

Day 16

A Song that makes you cry

Well when I first read the title for today one song popped in my head and without even hearing the music, I got tears in my eyes. That is how powerful I think this song really is. I love Vince Gill's voice he gives me chills. Enjoy!!!

Vince Gill's "Go Rest on High on That Mountain"

Day 14 & Day 15

Sorry about that Hiccup yesterday! I'm just going to skip yesterday and today's 30 day blog journal posts if y'all don't mind.

Mama Farmer and I spent most of the morning yesterday sitting in the hospital waiting to have her 2 twice a month CT scan. We had an interesting day... I think I can even say she had fun!! :) After we got out of the hospital she was HUNGRY!!! Hip Hip Hurray!!!! So we went to her favorite little pub that serves fantastic "Bar Food." She was so hungry she actually ordered the house specialty: A HUGE tenderloin with fries. And then of course she wanted appetizers! (WTH?) So we talked and nibbled on appetizers (She said she had really been craving, which is a really great sign by the way.) I swear my mouth fell open when she ordered all that! But then she really floored me when she pointed at a slushy type machine and asked me if I thought it was a daiquiri maker? I said probably so. Then she says I think I want one!!! I think you could have knocked me over with a feather when she said that!! Here I am out in a bar at 11:00 on Wednesday morning and my mother in law who just happens to be fighting colon, liver & lung cancer, wants a DRINK!!! What is the protocol for this? I know from working as a CPCT in a hospital that the majority of medication that is being taken by a cancer patient should NOT ever be mixed with alcohol. But here she is literally falling over the bar for a fish bowl strawberry daiquiri!!! Do you tell her no? I'm sitting here weighing all the options... She already has 3 types of cancer this can't cause her anymore harm!! Oh my g-d!!! I'm going to end up carrying a 100 lb drunk woman out of a bar in downtown "Farmerstown" at 11:00 am on a Wednesday! And everyone and their brother know her and ME and know that she is fighting cancer! How is that going to look? Much less her son and daughter will hear all about it by the time I get her home and tucked in bed. And how in the hell is a hangover going to feel on top of cancer treatments? My mind is racing!! I tell her she needs to eat something first!! (I'm starting to sound like the mother here!) She agrees after I remind her that she had to fast since the night before. So she eats, and eats and eats some more. I haven't seen this girl eat this well in over a year!!! So I'm hoping against hope that she will be too full for a strawberry daiquiri. She gets more the 3/4 of the way through the tenderloin which was enormous. And she ate almost all her French fries and just about all the fried mushrooms!! I was so proud of her! I think she was proud of herself too. But the whole time we were talking she kept looking over my shoulder at the daiquiri machine. I could tell it was calling her name. Once she had eaten as much as she was able. She leaned forward and asked with the biggest grin on her face, Can I get my strawberry daiquiri now? How do you say no, to a 59 year old woman who is going through the roughest, toughest thing in her whole entire life? I said yes but I think we need to make it Virgin Daiquiris. She looked a little puzzled at that term. And I said it’s a daiquiri without the alcohol!! Then she tells me it’s not a daiquiri, if it doesn’t have alcohol in it. By this time the waitress had slipped up to the table and was whipping her book out to take a drink order. And Mama Farmer told her we needed 2 strawberry daiquiris!!! Fully leaded!! Oh My how I love that woman!! No amount of warning from me would affect her. She wanted her drink! When our Fish Bowls arrived the waitress apologized because she thought she got it a little too heavy on the rum! Oh great I thought!! Now we are going to have to call a cab!! (Oh wait there are NO CABS!!!) Mama Farmer was in hog heaven diving into her strawberry fish bowl. I really couldn't begrudge her the booze now. She had earned it!! My sister in law had texted me about 3 times while we were there. But I just skirted around the whole daiquiri subject. Because I wasn’t going to be the one who ratted unless I absolutely had to. I should have taken a picture of it. It really was a pretty daiquiri. There was whipped cream and fruit on top and an umbrella and 2 straws in each. I didn’t think it was very strong but I’m not 100 lbs. She slurped it down in record time and I could tell she was getting sleepy by the time she had it done. So we began to head out the door. She didn’t stumble but she was leaning! :) I got her in the truck and by the time we hit the highway she was dozing a little. I have to say that was probably one of her favorite CAT scan to date. (Mr. Farmer and his sister wouldn’t have let her do that) I know I will never forget it.
When I got her home she went straight for the couch. She was so glad to be home for a nap. (Even though she had napped all the way home :) I told her I would be back in about 3 hours to feed the horses and she said she would go along to “help” I said ok, just rest for awhile. When I came back later she was sleeping so soundly I didn’t have the heart to wake her. She was actually having a restful sleep for a change. I think in this whole cancer business were all trying to come to terms with the fact that she has to do what she wants even if it is against “Doctor’s orders.” It’s so hard following along sometimes when the patient doesn’t want what is “best” for them. But in this situation it made her happy. And yesterday I actually got to see the Mama Farmer I hadn’t seen in over a year.
If all goes well with this CAT scan she will only have 2 more treatments left. So keep up the prayers!! She needs them. We want her to be Cancer Free by Thanksgiving!!! Wouldn’t that be awesome?!!

Day 13

A Fictional Book

As I wrote the other day I can never pick A favorite book so I'm highlighting the book that was our September Book club pick. It's quite an enjoyable read. I swear you will be sucked in! I actually stole the review from Amaz.on. I thought it sounded better then anything I could write. Go check it out.

The Gargoyle by: Andrew Davidson

Editorial Reviews
Amaz.oncom Review
An extraordinary debut novel of love that survives the fires of hell and transcends the boundaries of time. The narrator of The Gargoyle is a very contemporary cynic, physically beautiful and sexually adept, who dwells in the moral vacuum that is modern life. As the book opens, he is driving along a dark road when he is distracted by what seems to be a flight of arrows. He crashes into a ravine and suffers horrible burns over much of his body. As he recovers in a burn ward, undergoing the tortures of the damned, he awaits the day when he can leave the hospital and commit carefully planned suicide—for he is now a monster in appearance as well as in soul. A beautiful and compelling, but clearly unhinged, sculptress of gargoyles by the name of Marianne Engel appears at the foot of his bed and insists that they were once lovers in medieval Germany. In her telling, he was a badly injured mercenary and she was a nun and scribe in the famed monastery of Engelthal who nursed him back to health. As she spins their tale in Scheherazade fashion and relates equally mesmerizing stories of deathless love in Japan, Iceland, Italy, and England, he finds himself drawn back to life—and, finally, in love. He is released into Marianne's care and takes up residence in her huge stone house. But all is not well. For one thing, the pull of his past sins becomes ever more powerful as the morphine he is prescribed becomes ever more addictive. For another, Marianne receives word from God that she has only twenty-seven sculptures left to complete—and her time on earth will be finished. Already an international literary sensation, The Gargoyle is an Inferno for our time. It will have you believing in the impossible.

Day 12

Something I'm OCD about.

Holy cow I'm so OCD I've actually been obsessing about the list of all the things I find myself obsessing about. It's terrible!!! So this list may be a little longer then most! :)

1. I am VERY OCD about kissing my hubby and saying this little saying I have to him in the morning. It's quite weird I get upset and it almost feels like my day will ruined if I don't kiss him and tell him my little mantra... Yes I know the world will keep on turning if I don't kiss him and say the mantra but it makes me feel better.

2. I'm OCD about public bathrooms. I think this might be a universal female thing though. At least I like to think so. I flush the toilets with my foot, I hover, I wash my hands and then use paper towels to turn the water off, and to open the door. I HATE hand dryers (the blowers on the wall.) They are said to not only spread germs by heating up the air and blowing them around. But most people hate them so in turn don't end up washing hands... Oh I could go on for hours about bathrooms.

3. I'm OCD about idiot drivers who don't know what the passing lane is for! I obsess over it the whole time I'm tailgating them. While thinking murderous thoughts. And then I pass them on the right and SLOW WAAAAAY Down just to piss them off!! Yes I'm one of those drivers.

4. I'm OCD about snotty noses on kids (esp my nephews). Holy cow does that make me want to scream!!!! I'm always wiping the boys' noses I know they don't like it but I always have a tissue handy when they are around. I really just hate to see boogers stuck on kids faces. It is SOOOO DISGUSTING!!!! MOTHERS PLEASE WIPE YOUR KIDS NOSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. I'm OCD about my e-mail I'm always checking it when I'm at work. But the second I'm home I never think twice about it... Funny how that works.

6. I'm OCD my laundry. I'm very particular about how certain things are washed, I soak my hubby's things for a couple hours. I always do darks last. Lights first. Sheets on hot in their own load with more softener. I fold each bathrooms towels differently. And I want them on a set with the fold to the front and the open end to the back. Yes I'm pretty OCD about the whole process...

Now I'm going to obsess over the fact that you all will know how obsessive I really am! Oh shit!

Day 11

A picture of Me Today.

This is me, Peter Pan style!!! I'm so sorry gals! I'm not doing this to protect myself. I'm actually doing this to protect you!!! You see I wanted you all to come back tomorrow! (And everyday after that) And if you saw what I looked like today you would have picked up your skirts and hightailed it!!!!!!!!!!!! I took this picture of me after I helped my hubby put the hood back on a tractor that was having radiator issues. But I it was lacking: makeup, hair gel, & clean clothing and a usually good sense of fashion. It was however full of frizzy hair, freckly cheeks & nose and a t-shirt my husband thought was really cool in 1988... Which actually would make it vintage so maybe I should wash it sell it on E-bay!! But no one would buy it since the collar is slowly finding out how dreadfully un-cool Big Johnson really is so it's trying to retire himself. So really you all need to thank me for thinking of you all in my goal of protecting the innocent and trying to hide the fact that SOME of us "Modern Day Farmer's Wives aren't always able to be fashion conscious.

Oh and for shits and giggles I was also wearing my cut off purple sweatpants (circa 1990 something from my momma) with a sweet little hole on my right bum cheek!! Now how is that for Classy?!!!!

Oh I LOVE YOU ALL!! Thank you for not giving up on me and for coming back to visit me so frequently!! HUGS!!!

Day 10

A picture of me from 10 years ago.



I actually just found the roll this picture was on about 2 weeks ago. It was pretty funny finding 3 rolls of film that I knew were REALLY OLD!!

1 roll was at least 13 years old. Another one was from 2001 and then the 3rd was at least 6 years old. So this picture is "New" to me but an oldie. And actually the only picture of me that 10+ years old that is in digital format. I actually changed it in Picasa to Black and white cause there was quite a bit of distortion.



Mrs. Farmer Circa 1997
I guess I would actually be Country Girl here instead of Mrs. Farmer :)

Day 9

A picture I took.


I don't know if y'all have noticed that I LOVE to take pictures. I'm not very good at but I do it anyway. I am of the mindset that practice makes perfect so that is my plan!!!! I'm sure you have also noticed that I can't seem to follow directions very well either... Yes I'm going to post a few. I can't usually pick just one!! Although I promise tomorrow's picture will just be a single pic. These pics are pretty old. I took them back when we were building a new barn. Which the fall/winter of 2008. The sun was setting and I was inspired... Oh how I LOVE MY FARM!!!!!!!!

Day 8

A picture that makes me angry or sad.

I didn't know what picture to choose when this one came up. I'm not in the habit of taking pictures when I'm angry or sad.

The following picture makes me sad because the subject in my picture died last year. He was such an amazing guy. I worked with him for several years. We were really great friends. And not a work day goes by that he is not mentioned. I wonder sometimes what he would have gone on to do or who he would have been. This picture was taken years ago for a company newsletter. He was being the stubborn mule he loved to be. We used to tease him about looking like Colin Farrell. So he dyed his hair... It didn't turn out so well. So we teased him about that too.

RIP Buddy. We miss you!!!

Day 7

My Happy Picture:

Since I'm posting from work and I don't have my whole digital picture library at my finger tips I think I will show you my favorite Happy Picture in my Work Computer...

But as per usual I don't just have one! Imagine that! The little gal in the pictures below is my goddaughter. She is just about the sweetest little girl ever! This year she is a 2nd grader and to my great joy is an avid book reader!!! She is actually holding her birthday present. Books from her godmama!


I think she is day dreaming. These pictures make me remember my childhood.


I can remember this feeling.

Ahh just sitting back and taking it all in.

Just watching everything and everyone around me. And getting lost in your own thoughts...

But then some adult sneaking up and interrupting it all!!

God how I love this little girl!!! Look at those curls!!

Day 6

20 of my Favorite Things:

These are not in any kind of order.

1 Riding in our combine with my Hubby.
2 Reading a book in my glider on the front porch.
3 Baking sugar cookies for my hubby.
4 Taking my niece shopping.
5 Skinny dipping.
6 Maggie & Buddy Kisses.
7 Getting a phone call from my brother.
8 My nephews laughter.
9 Brand new G2 pens.
10 Ignoring a call from my mother.
11 Tromping through the leaves in Autumn.
12 Riding the 4 wheeler.
13 Making my dad laugh.
14 Antique/flea market shopping.
15 Kisses from my hubby in the morning.
16 Filling Christmas Stocking with goodies.
17 Laying out in the summer.
18 CD1
19 The UPS Man.
20 A pat on the butt (giving and receiving)

Day 5

My favorite Quote:

Well just like all the other days I can't just pick one! So here are a few of my favorites.


Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!
Eleanor Roosevelt


People who don't Think, probably don't have Brains; rather, they have gray fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake.
Winnie the Pooh


No one has ever become poor by giving.
Anne Frank


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.
Ronald Reagan

Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.
Lucy Maud Montgomery

Day 4

My favorite book
This actually changes on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis so I can't tell you what next week or even tomorrow's top picks will be. But today it is a couple picks and in no particular order:

This is actually September's book pick for our Book Club and it was a very engrossing read. I had a little trouble getting through the first few pages or so. But over all it was a cool story.




And these... Yes I know I'm a little late to the party!! But I have to say they aren't too bad. I started reading them 2 weeks ago. I have made it to the 4th one. I'm actually hoping to finish it tonight.



So this week I'm into dark mystery, type romance ask me again next week and it could be something altogether different

Day 3

My Favorite Television Program.

I love this show!! I adore antiques and picking!! I have been a picker since I was little. My mom and dad would get a little annoyed with me when I would drag things home from Grandpa's barn or even worse his trash pile! But he it was cool!!! Check it out! It's like watching a real live treasure hunt!

Day 2

So I think I will have to just give you a list of some of my very favorite titles Ever!! I just can't narrow it down. Most of these are movies that I can watch over and over again.

In no particular order my favorite movies are:




I'm sure you all thought I was this sheltered little farmers wife.... Hahahahahah!!!!!




But oh how I love hopelessly romantic comedies!!



And a some blood and gore... But it's funny blood and gore!!



I think everyone would love this movie if they got a chance to see it!! It's SOOO FUNNY!!




OMG Uma And John!! What else can I say?

I know every line of this movie by heart!!!




The thin man movies are priceless!! If you ever get a chance to watch one do it!! You can not find a funnier couple then Loy and Powell

Bing and Fred!! Oh I should have lived in the 30's and 40's!!



This has one of the most famous clips of all time! Claudette Shows her leg while hitch hiking! It's true genius!!!

Holy Cow Daniel Day Lewis is magnificent in this movie!! Wow I get all tingly just thinking about it!!

Who doesn't want to love a man with an crazy wife hidden in the attic?!!!

This movie is simply stunning! Ms. Knightly does more acting with her eyes then some actors can do in a lifetime of speaking. Beautiful!!!

I love the humor I love Jane Austen and I love Ms. Paltrow! So of course I love this movie!!!

Ahhh Anne of Green Gables. We literally read the covers of the books when my sister and I were growing up. And when the movies came out we had to own them. I actually think I can quote these movies line for line also... I loved them.

I think every child would love this movie! It is such a cool story... And great accents!! Oh to live on an island in Ireland...

I think everyone needs to chase a leopard while hosting a fancy dinner party!! This movie always cheers me up!! No matter what type of person you are you can't help but laugh at this screw ball comedy!

OMG!! This movie is passion on a stick!! I love love love this movie And frankly my dear I don't give a damn... What you think!!!

That my darlings is all I could think of off the top of my head. I'm sure I could think of 100 or so more but this post is entirely to long as it is.

Love and Hugs

Day 1

This is MY SONG. I have always LOVED this song. Everytime I hear it pumps me up. And usually when it comes on the radio it's usually just when I NEED to hear it. It's so strange how that happens. If I ever needed a theme song this would be my theme song! I couldn't find the video of it. So the lyrics will just have to do. I apologize! This song just gets in my blood. I have always felt like it was written for me...

You Gotta Be

By: Des'ree

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds

Try and keep your head up to the sky

Lovers, they may cause you tears

Go ahead release your fears

Stand up and be counted

Don't be ashamed to cry

You gotta be You gotta be bad,

you gotta be bold You gotta be wiser,

you gotta be hard You gotta be tough,

you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool,

you gotta be calm You gotta stay together

All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Herald what your mother said

Readin' the books your father read

Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time

Some may have more cash than you

Others take a different view My oh my heh, hey

You gotta be bad,

you gotta be bold You gotta be wiser,

you gotta be hard You gotta be tough,

you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool,

you gotta be calm You gotta stay together

All I know, all I know,

love will save the day

Don't ask no questions,

it goes on without you

Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace

The world keeps on spinning You can't stop it, if you try to

This time it's danger staring you in the face

Oh oh oh Remember Listen as your day unfolds

Challenge what the future holds

Try and keep your head up to the sky

Lovers, they may cause you tears

Go ahead release your fears

My oh my heh, hey,

hey You gotta be You gotta be bad,

you gotta be bold You gotta be wiser,

you gotta be hard You gotta be tough,

you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool,

you gotta be calm You gotta stay together

All I know, all I know,

love will save the day You gotta be bad,

you gotta be bold You gotta be wiser,

you gotta be hard You gotta be tough,

you gotta be stronger You gotta be cool,
you gotta be calm You gotta stay together

All I know, all I know, love will save the day

30 Day Blog Journal

I know I have been MIA lately... But I think I have finally found the cure!!!!!!!!!!!

I saw this over at Sass' Blog about a month or so ago and I thought it might be fun try...

There are quite a few bloggers participating in the 30 Day Blog Journal and thought that it looked like it might be a lot of fun... I hope I can keep up!!! :)

Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where I live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - my worst habit
Day 28 - whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future
If you are planning on doing the same, let me know in the comments, I would love to follow along!

August

I have been MIA for over a month now. I suddenly got struck with a severe allergic reaction to blogging. Not sure why. But I avoided writing at all costs!! I really can't explain why I get into ruts like this but I do. So before I let a whole month slip away with out blogging I'm going to do a month in review....

The last week of July Mama Farmer was told before she did more chemo she would need to have a round of immunity boosting shoots. So from the 1st of August through the 4th she got shots to help build her immunity. On the 6th she had to have more fluid drained from her abdomen. Poor gal has been having anywhere from 7 to 9 liters drained each week. It's become her Friday afternoon ritual.

On August 10th was our monthly Book Club meeting. Which I was hosting this time around. We ended up having a record amount of attendees. Which was awesome because it was our 1 year anniversary!! It was quite exciting seeing how big we had grown in a years time. The book we discussed was my pick. I was actually a little disappointed. I chose: Eat, Pray, Love By: Elizabeth Gilbert. I chose it mostly because the movie was going to be coming out 3 or 4 days after our meeting. It was a very hard book for me to get through. I was not impressed! I actually liked the movie more then the book. I think that's the first time I have ever been able to say that. But anyway check out the movie it was great. The book club went as a group to a matinee on the following Saturday. It was a blast seeing it together because we all were laughing at the same times and whispering to each other when we thought something would have looked different in the movie. We meet for lunch at a great little downtown cafe. It was a wonderful book club meeting and Saturday lunch date.

August 13th Mama Farmer had to have another 9 liters drained... The doctors are beginning to be more and more concerned with the amount of fluid she is creating. So they have decide to put off doing Chemo till her strength returns and hopefully the liver will cut back on creating so much excess fluid...

The next week was actually pretty uneventful except for my weekly exercise class. Back in July my mama literally begged me to take a Zumba class with her. She is always looking for something for "Us" to do together. So we can bond.... I don't know if you all know this but my mother drives me batty!! But I knew she wouldn't let up unless I just gave in and went with her. So I did and no I have a new obsession!!!! Zumba !!!!! Oh my goodness if you don't know what this is you need to run to your local gym and beg for them to start it!!! I also thought that if I went to this class with my mom I would be able to spend time with her, without "spending" time with her. If you get my drift!! :) I have been working really hard and diet and exercise this past month. I'm going to the gym for Zumba 2 to 3 days a week. I haven't lost any lbs but I know I'm losing serious inches!!! My arms and legs are getting so toned!! I can't believe it!!! And now I don't feel guilty for ever seeing my mother... And we are sooo busy working out she can't say anything snarky!!! I only have to listen to her snarkiness walking into class and walking out! How about them apples?

August 18th and 19th I had my yearly meltdown... The one where I am reminded at how old my ovaries are going to be on the 20th of August. Last year I had a melt down at work when I came back from lunch and my office had a surprise birthday party for me. They had cake, ice cream, balloons, flowers, the works! Yes I know you probably think I'm to young to have birthday melt downs! But I always thought I would have had all my kiddos by now and my hubby and I would just be happy raising toddlers in to happy children... Not trying to deal with the fact that I may never be a parent... So this year I took the dreaded day off so as to avoid any surprises. Side note: Tears and snot don't look very nice on pastel cake icing
I had planned on spending the whole day with my hubby hauling grain and not letting my brain wonder to "the Dark side." But my mother being the wonderful mother that she is. Had other plans!! My mom planned a lunch date for me, mom, dad my aunt (my godmother) Aka Mrs. Fertile Mertyle and 3 of her 11 children. She has never had a multiple these are all singletons!! She is a wonderful mother! She is a stay at home mom. My uncle has a wonderful job. But of all people for my mother to surprise me with this is the woman! I got to spend the one day that is the darkest for me staring back at her with watching my sweet little cousin cuddle in her lap. And knowing if she wanted to she could have one more... Yes these are the woman in my family the ones that say I'm ready for another one... 9 months later they have a beautiful baby bundle in their arms. I am the 2nd oldest grandchild of 42 grandchildren!!! This number does not include any great grand babies! My mom's side of the family is huge and it's so frustrating because every female is fertile but me!!!
So I sit at my surprise birthday luncheon trying to enjoy myself and I do for the most part. But sometimes my heart burns being around the woman on mom's side. Because they are all blissfully ignorant of the pain associated with being reproductively challenged. I thanked her profusely for driving up with the kiddos and and spending time with me on my birthday. This aunt is actually closer in age to me then she is to my mother. When I was younger we were quite close. She was just like an older sister to me and my sister.
By the time I had gotten home I was so emotionally drained. I had wanted to avoid all subjects pertaining to pregnancy, birth, babies, children, etc. on my Birthday and instead I was exposed to lethal does of all the above. I was so blue by the time Hubby came home I didn't want to celebrate anymore! But he wanted to take me shopping for my birthday present. I had it in my head that I was going to get an e-reader. I've been drooling over them for awhile now!! And so we drive the hour down to the biggest town around to look them over. And I talk myself out of all of the ones at bes.t buy because they were CRAPPY!!! And me being the tech savvy that I am didn't realize that the only place they had the k.indle was at Ta.rget!! Am I the only one who didn't know that? So we run over to the Ta.rget. To get my Birthday present and guess what? They didn't have ANY!!! And it will be several weeks before they do be cause the new version has just come out!! Just my Luck!! So not only did I not get to do what I wanted for my birthday, I had to suffer through all the questions I cannot stand and then I didn't even get the present that I wanted!!! All I wanted was a day for ME!! Was that to much to ask for?

After the birthday fiasco I had a somewhat quiet week at work. And then we actually got Mama Farmer talked into a little trip with her 2 besties to the French Lick Spa!! We didn't think we were going to get her to go. She changed her mind a half a dozen times before they actually picked her up. She thought she would get sick while she was there or the food wouldn't agree with her. But nothing bad happened. The food all agreed with her and she had a blast with her girlfriends! They got the works done. (As much as she could participate in considering her health) I tell you though, she looked like a different woman when she came home! She was literally glowing Sunday afternoon! I really think it boosted her morale. We all have tried so hard to help her and to be there for her. We have tried everything in our arsenal to cheer her up and to help her feel better. But I guess there are just some things that only your girlfriends can do...

That my friends if you are still here and made it this far was my month... I hate that I have been so lax in writing. I'm hoping to remedy that! I plan on doing a blog kick in the pants! So stay tuned.

Love & Hugs to you all!!

For Kacy

Kacy asked this yesterday: "Just keep telling us your life story!! I want to hear. You may not want to post about this but I have been wondering where you are at on your TTC journey? Just a suggestion. Maybe taking another look will open up some topics for you."

Kacy you may regret having asked this... I'm in rare form today! I apologize in advance for what I'm about to post but I'm just in one of those weird places right now.

As far as our TTC Journey.... We aren't going anywhere. I'm still lusting over babies and swollen bellies. But we have just been entirely too stressed with Mama Farmer being sick for me to start treatments again. And to be quite honest the longer it gets from having the last treatment the less I want to do it that way again. You know what I mean? At the time I just thought that was the ONLY way I would ever get knocked up... Now I'm 2nd guessing all the treatments (ie shots, monitoring etc) But secretly I think I'm just too damn scared to go back and do it all over again. I'm scared to be in that dark place again. The place I found myself in after it didn't work. The place I found myself wallowing in when I spent entirely too much money on needles and drugs that made me gain damn near 30 lbs (that I still haven't lost yet)And the place I found our relationship in where Mr. Farmer and I were 2nd guessing "the joy" of having a child. I don't want to be in those places mentally ever again and I think I'm just shielding myself by not going there right now... He and I got to a place where we resented all of it and I was scared he would resent me for us having to be there...

You see I'm the one with the problem. I haven't had a period in ages which is caused by the PCOS. So now I'm going the exercise/diet route and hoping maybe I can get my periods to came back on there own. If I can lose the weight. The weight that I gained from the injectables. It seriously has been months since I've had a real period. And NO I'm not knocked up. I have been taking a test every month. Naively thinking maybe an egg will just magically pop out and I won't even know it! Yeah right!!!!! I keep reading how you can actually become "regular" if you lose the excess weight. It can't hurt right? I'm a size 16 and I'm not comfortable in my skin. I never really have been. So maybe if I can get ride of my front butt, I might start to feel like a woman again... I don't know... I just want my body to work. I don't want to get hyper stimulated from meds (that make me ape shit crazy) to get what I want, and then go right back to having wonky ovaries. I want to "FIX" the problem and never have to deal with it again. I want to feel like a woman! And you know what ::GASP:: I want to have a period every month! I want to have PMS before I get my period!! I want to blame my bad moods on it!!! Gosh Damn it!!!!!!!

I have actually been working up the courage to get an appointment with a doctor who specializes in treating the problem without drugging you up. But I don't think me or Mr. Farmer could emotionally deal with me and his mama having to go to the doctor daily right now. They actually can cut a section of the ovary out and this will actually make the ovary start acting normal again. I don't know if it's because they have taken so much of the cyst covered stuff out. Or if it's just from cutting it and making it heal it self? I'm not sure. But I have heard that it actually will correct the PCOS and then the patient will actually be regular! How awesome would that be?

But then I worry about having to go under surgery right now. And I don't know if I can do that to him. He has so much on his shoulders right now. Mama Farmer only made it 3 weeks in remission. She didn't even really get to celebrate that much. When then they found spots on her liver. So she is back doing Chemo again. Hopefully just 6 rounds. So if I had surgery right now not only would Mr. Farmer have to take care of EVERYTHING down at her house. But he would have double the load at our house. So I just keep crossing my fingers and holding my breath....
That is my TTC Journey... I'm not going ANYWHERE. I'm just sitting on the curb watching everyone else speed by.

A Rut

I seem to have found myself sitting in one! I need someone to help me out of it! Please! I'm just sitting here playing in the muck of this rut.... HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPP MEEEE!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what's come over me... I'm still reading blogs and commenting I just haven't been writing... I know Shame On me!!!!!!! If I have the time to read, I have the time to write... That is what Mel says anyway.

I'm working on ideas in my head but they just flit away as soon as I set my butt down to type. I promise I will climb out asap!

I love you all!!!!

Pictures!!

PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!! You know it’s been waaaaay too long since I posted some pictures from around the farm. So I thought today should be the day!!!! So here goes


A Baby Cantaloupe This little one is about as big as a marble

This one is about the size of a baseball. And they are all in the same field!

A Baby Watermelon!! They are so stinking cute!! This little guy is about 5 inches long!

Did you know that Watermelons are not Self Fertile!!! (No wonder I like watermelons so dang much!!!) They need Honey Bees to pollinate them.

These pretty pastel colored wooden boxes are Bee Boxes! Or high Rise Apartment complexes for busy bees... Poor fellows they work all the time... (I'm cracking myself up!!!) They are actually homes to thousands and thousands of Honey Bees.

And they are so darn cute!!

I love me some bees!!! Actually I think I want to bee a Bee Keeper!! Yes I know last week I wanted to fly planes and this week I want to keep bees!! I refuse to grow up! I'm a Patricia Pan!!

I’m such a fearless blogger that I had to get some close up shots of the bees for my bloggy friends!! You all mean the world to me!! And that is why I RISKED MY LIFE for these pics!!!
No really Bees don’t bother me for some odd strange reason… Now wasps on the other hand, do bother me!!! There is a story about me and a wasp (or 2) having a make-out session in an old country church down the road from where I grew up… I still have to decide if I’m going to pull out that sad, pathetic picture from the archives… Actually I like to pretend there was never a picture taken of “The Wasp Incident.” But you see I have siblings and they tend to make sure embarrassing things like “The Wasp Incident” are NEVER forgotten!! Thank You Little Big Brother and my Older not wiser but very much more Fertile Sister!!

I like to think that this is the Queen!!!... I know the odds are against me getting a pic of the actual queen but it's a nice little dream!