Auction

This weekend Mr. Farmer and I went to a farm auction of a local farmer. The word Auction usually sends chills up my spine and reminds me of the old John Mellencamp song Rain on the Scarecrow.
(If you have never heard it or seen the video check it out below. You will get a sense of what a farm auction is like from it.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joNzRzZhR2Y

Farm Auctions are so heartbreaking... This particular Auction was on a beautiful farm just north of us by about 20 miles. It was a man who had farmed his whole life. He having reached 85 years old had no one to pass his family legacy on to. No one to take on the plow and work the ground like he and his fathers before him had. I watched this poor man with tears in his eyes as the local farmers were going through his equipment, tools, tractors, and trucks. Each one complimenting under their breath at how well the old man had taken care of this or that piece of equipment. It's shocking how something so common place as the family farm is disappearing before our very eyes! I'm sure I have no idea the depth of pain and sorrow he had watching all his hard work for well over 70 years of his life float away on the wind. He had a pristine farm and home. You could tell by the way his barns were kept that he loved his farm and his life here. The barn was well worn from the elements but clean and tidy. His equipment was old but well maintained. I couldn't help but wonder if 50 years down the road if Mr. Farmer and I would be in the same position... Having to sell off everything we have worked so hard for, because there was no one to pass it along to.

2 year Blogversary!!

Wow where has the time gone? I never thought in a million years back on that September afternoon in 2008 that 2 years from then I would still have empty arms, just waiting for a baby to fill them. Or begging my mother in law to eat every day. Oh and having to know that in the time it has taken my sister to bring 3 children into the world I haven't even brought one in to it.

I'm a little melancholy today. Even though Mama farmer was released from the hospital about an hour ago. We have her snuggled in on the couch. She tells us she is not hungry but she has strict orders to eat every 2 hours. But she is as stubborn as the colt standing in the lot out back. The doctors said it wasn't her gallbladder causing her trouble it was from the lack of nourishment... She is starving herself again. She doesn't want to deal with the nasty side effects of having most of her colon removed so she doesn't want to eat any solid food now. Which has in turn put her in the hospital for almost 5 days filling her body back up with protein, potassium, & calcium, which she has starved her body of. She kept telling us she was eating. But we aren't there with her all day. I want so badly to take a way the pain of cancer and the pain of all the belly issues involved but I can't. I can only watch as she deals with it the only way she thanks she can.... Mr. Farmer and I had a fight last night and I know it was mostly because he is so concerned about his mother. This his fuse is short. They have such a close relationship and this whole thing is killing him. He wants her to see his future children and to look forward to the future with him and our family. My heart is bleeding because of the unkind words we said to each other. Even though I know it's because we are maxed out. We have hit the boiling point and it's effecting our home life!!

CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm praying that this last time in the hospital will have scared her into changing her ways. She has until Tuesday to keep her levels up at the same if not better then what they were this morning. Please Pray that she does! They won't do anymore chemo until she gets her body into a little bit better shape. Her little body is so frail. He skin hangs like a hobo's rags. She was always a very curvy lady. She was beautiful and vivacious. Loud and unafraid. Now I feel that cancer has seeped into her very soul and robbed it of our dear Mama Farmer. That Evil Bitch: Cancer has used her nasty black tentacles and wrapped them around our hearts and is squeezing... I don't know when she will let us go... Or if she ever will.

Can I go back to 2008? Please...

Playing Catch Up

My heart is not in this post as I have had to RE WRITE IT!! Because Blogger is such a freaking loser! I do apologize.


We survived the 4th. The party went very well. Other then the fact that it was a FURNACE outside. We had a great time! Hubbs bought WAAAAAY to many fireworks and they were so beautiful. I wished I would have taken some pictures. I wanted to kick myself when I realized I never thought about pulling my camera out!! Hubbs and I were sitting on the steps after everyone had left, discussing how great it went, when I remembered. I'm such an idiot. But we had a TON of food! And a crazy amount of relatives! And no cat fights broke out! That's a plus! The in laws all got along great with each other. I haven't had a party with both sides of our family before. So that was interesting. My mom came over the day before the party to help me recover my patio cushions because they looked terrible. I took a couple pics of them. I'm so proud of our work. My mom and I each had a bolt of outdoor fabric gathering dust in our basements. So we did reversible covers. They turned out better then I expected. The Hubbs and I have been wanting to add on to the back of the house with an additional patio/deck with a hot tub and another entry way into the house but we haven't done it yet. And I knew that if I bought a new patio table and chairs now they may not work with the new patio. So we thought we should hold off on buying a new table until we built the new patio. But I'm actually quite impressed at how well they turned out. And how much time my mother and I actually spent in my kitchen together with out killing each other!!! :)

There was also one more little thing I had to get taken care of before the party. Maggie (Large fuzzy Mutt) and Buddy (St. Bernard) our sweet little pupps are Nervous Nellies when it comes to people. They REALLY don't like people on their property!! And my puppies being the size that they are can be quite LOUD and down right scary for guests when they come to our home. So I got the bright idea of calling the vet for something "to take the edge off." My hubbs wasn't too keen on the idea when I brought it up to him several weeks ago. He thought it might hurt our poor little puppies. And I told him it causes them more harm to let them bark all night trying to "defend us" then letting them chill out on some good drugs. But Mr. Farmer never said ok or no. So my being the resourceful wifey that I am I took that as my cue to do what I thought best!!! I went to the vet on Friday morning and picked up the "goods." I was feeling okay about it. I knew I was doing them a favor. I was just going to keep telling myself that. That's how I will get though this. So I toss the pills in the bottom of my purse not really wanting the Hubbs to discover what I'm plotting for our (fur) kids. If he finds them then he will know what I'm going to do, if not then he wasn't "meant" to know about it!! (Yes I know I'm a sick individual) So Saturday comes and goes Sunday morning rolls around Mr. Farmer is getting everything ready. And then the afternoon ticks by and he has to run down and feed the horses , chickens etc. And I know it's NOW or never!! If I don't give them the "Happy Pills" now I won't get a chance to give the pills once he's back. I rummaged through the fridge looking for some meat of some sort. I tabulate the weight (Or really guesstimate it in my head) and divide the pills accordingly. And then the GUILT!! Oh man she slams in the chest! She comes back up again and slaps me in the face! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!! You are drugging your (fur)Kids!! Why would you do such a horrible thing?! And then I tell that ole bitch guilt to F*%k off I have a party to get ready for! I carry they turkey and chill pill sandwich out to my babies whom I love more then anything and they come running to me! They look up at me and cock there pretty little heads at me and sit very still waiting for a "Treat" from there momma. And that Damn Guilt comes around again!! What the Hell am I thinking?! They are so cute!! And defenseless!! Wouldn't everyone in my family love to have Buddy's slobber rubbed on their legs. And his hot stinky breath in their face as he is barking like Cujo at them? And then I shake my head and SAY NO! Nobody likes a barking dog!! NOBODY! Give them the "Happy Sandwich" and deal with it!! At this point I'm about in tears thinking how terrible I am for wanting to drug my dogs just for a party!! But I know their Daddy will be back soon and it's got to be done or we won't have any peace at all tonight! So I slowly hand them there sandwiches and they happily chomp them down and pat me on the leg. And Buddy rubs some drool all over the outside of my leg and as it dribbles down to my flip flop and then I realize I have done the right thing.... Flash forward 2 hours. My sister in Law and her kids arrive And Maggie and Buddy were both laying comfortably on the floor. In fact TOO COMFORTABLY! They didn't even get up and bark when the truck drove in. That is some GOOD SHIT!! In fact Buddy laid under the table and looked like he had just put away 2 gallons of Jack Daniels!! His eyes were so droopy. Holy Cow I've killed my dogs! Maggie was able to get up and walk over to Mr. Farmer but she walked right past him... I'm thinking she must have been seeing double. She found him eventually. Mr. Farmer bent down and asked her if she was feeling bad... She wagged her tail slowly and he said maybe it's the heat!! Of course it was the heat! They are very furry babies and it's 100 degrees out. Yes it's the heat!!! It only took us 5 minutes to get them to walk 20 feet. We put them in their pen and they slept peacefully all evening. The guilt had jumped on to my back and I carried her around all night. My dad actually came up and asked me what was wrong with the dogs and I had to tell him the truth. And he laughed and said I think you gave Bud a little too much!! Then I laughed. And he told me it was better for them to sleep then to be so stressed out. It made me feel a little better to hear my dad tell me that. But I knew Mr. Farmer was worrying about the kids and I had to tell him. So before the fireworks began I told him. He wasn't mad he actually said he thought it was better for Maggs this way cause she gets soooo worked up. But oh jee whiz was it funny watching "drunk" dogs stumbling around.

Overall the party went well considering the merging of the clans and the drugging of the canines. We have had plenty of parties in the past just for one side or the other. Not both together! We had quite a few bodies at her house and a couple of little hooligans running wild. My sister in law (the one who "planned" our party) has 3 kiddos, a 13 year old girl and 2 boys aged 9 and 6. The boys can really make a party interesting! :) They behaved pretty well through dinner. But once they found the Mt Dew, they were wired for sound. These boys are actually pretty funny, but can wear you ragged pretty quickly! So the whole fam damily were sitting out back waiting for the sun to set when the boys began setting off bottle rockets, snakes, and stink bombs. (All under parental supervision of course) But being the stinky, sugar crazed, dirty faced boys they are. They were screaming and hollering and just being down right annoying while they were setting off the noise makers. My mother and father I think were a little shocked by all the ruckus and the lack of control on my sister in law's part (but that isn't my place or anyone else to say anything:) My parents were really strict growing up. In fact we never would have behaved like that at home, much less at my aunt or uncle's home. Because there would have been consequences for us once we got home and they weren't going to be good if you know what I mean. But while all the adults were watching the boys and talking in a group in our lawn chairs. My mom leans over and says: "Are they the reason you haven't had kids yet?" Granted it is a funny comment when you think about how badly behaved these kiddos were. But it still stung after she had said it. Because if my own mother thinks that I'm scared of having uncontrollable children and that's the reason I'm not procreating with my husband. Then I'm sure the whole family thinks the same thing also!

But I'm not going to focus on her comment. Because when I do it stings even more and I don't want to keep opening it up. Cause it hurts. GEE THANKS MOM!!!!

But yes that was the 4th of July in a nutshell!! Sorry it took so long to post. I have even more to catch you all up on.
Love & Hugs!!!

Melon Season II

It's spring time and that means WORK! Work Work Work oh yeah and More WORK!!!! Can you say YUCK? Yes it does get old and there are times I just want to scream for my hubby to come home and lay on the sofa with me for a couple hours and watch sappy movies. But I know better! I chose this life and that's what we do! So I put on my big girl panties and deal with it. Most days I don't complain too much because really it can be pretty fun!! So here are those pics I told you I would try and get. I didn't have time to get pics taken up close while the kids (Being of legal age to work... ie. local teens who help out on farms for extra cash and a good tan!!) were actually on the setter. Cause I had hungry horses to feed and they aren't too happy if your late!!! So I zoomed in as best I could and snapped a few and then ran back to the big babies to make them happy.

Farmer Kid is driving today... You see there is a pecking order in the whole produce production business... When it's nice out (meaning not 100 degrees in the shade) then someone higher up (ie old Farmer Father In Law's) would kick farmer kid off the tractor and Farmer Kid would be stuck on the back setting the melon plants and getting dust kicked in his face. But since today is UNBEARABLY HOT Farmer Kid is where he likes to be: Driving!!!

This is a Setter. The seats aren't too bad. The green framed trays hold the flats of plants. Which you can see sitting in front of the girl in the above picture.

This is the spiky thingy (Not the correct name but MY handy dandy Farmer is out farming so I can't get the info that I need. Sorry) that pokes into the plastic right before the plants are placed in the ground.

A MUST HAVE in Melon Farming!!! You will FRY in the Indiana Sun. It's terrible.

Plant stakes. These are in the flats when they arrive to our farm... Up until a few years ago most farmers actually grew there own seedlings here in greenhouses. But the costs involved are getting higher and higher and so it's just cheaper and actually healthier for the plants to start out at a nursery and then arrive right before planting season...

That's all for tonight! Tomorrow I shall share some pics of the Big Babies. Mavrick and Misty oh and maybe some not so baby chicks!!!!

Love and Hugs to you all!!!!

Leo

Yes my horoscope tells me I'm a Leo. I'm not really into all that nonsense but on occasion I will read it if some one has a copy of the paper laying on their desk. Today one of the guys I work with had an article he wanted me to read in our local paper. So I read it and my eyes glanced over to the Horoscope column and quickly found this:

LEO (July 23- Aug 22) - Some major impediments in an arrangement you're trying to get to work will finally break away and let you grow crops in what was a field of weeds.

Ummmm Well that was interesting! I do tend to think of my body as a barren field... So what would the major impediment be? Maybe the fact that I did not ovulate with my miracle herbs! Or maybe I will get another period on them in the next week or so and then in the new cycle I will ovulate!!!!... That is a lot to think about. I just thought I would share this with you all. Since I thought it was so funny that it was farming related and kinda sorta made me think. I'm thinking I need you all to give me your insights on what this horoscope means. I don't know how to decipher them. And I always like to add: "In Bed" even though you are only supposed to do that on fortune cookies!! :)

Oh Holy cow!!! For shits and Giggles I just read Mr. Farmers!! Hold on to your hats!!!

Pisces (Feb 20- March 20) - If you have something interesting you've been working on, and you are ready to launch, throw the switch now. You could be extremely lucky today regarding new endeavors.

WOW! Now if that's not creepy I don't know what is! I think just to be on the safe side I might have to jump Mr. Farmer tonight... Hey my Horoscope said so right?

Fertility update: I pulled out the dreaded, evil and despicable CBEFM. Back when I began spotting about 31 days ago and i peed on sticks faithfully every morning for 20 days. Now it's telling me it's low again I never got a peak fert symbol. But I feel really good taking this stuff I don't know what it's doing. I had some pretty weird cramping right around the time I "should" have been ovulating. So maybe my body is trying to do this. I think I will go one more round on the "Au natural stuff" and then maybe in about 2 months time we will be in a better position to go back to the RE and try again. Mama Farmer actually feels somewhat better but she is carrying a whole lot of equipment around with her. They just added a vacuum to the wound on her stomach to assist in the healing. Her body just is not wanting to heal and I know the chemo probably is mostly to blame for that. But hopefully by the end of June she will have finished all the Chemo treatments. She had to do 13 total and we will be coming up on the 11th this next week. So by July Mr. Farmer will have harvested the wheat got the late beans planted and we will slow down a little. And I will be on may way to Dr. B.... Maybe

What If...

What if I can't give my husband an heir... I know this isn't Mid-evil times. This is not the year 1510!! Why? Do you ask, am I'm acting like it is? Let me explain my madness...

My husband is a farmer. And as such, farm families pass the ground & business on to the next generation. My husband is the last in his family, his father had 2 brothers none of whom had sons so the farm passes to my husband. Mr. Farmer is the last of 5+ generations farming and living on this ground. And he has no one to pass this on to. His ground has been in his family for hundreds of years. I know it has come up between his mother and father about what is going to happen to "The Farm" when they die. What will happen to the ground they poured their very blood, sweat and tears into?

What if I can't give a child to my husband?

This thought keeps me up at night. I'm the first wife in this long line of Farmer women who could not produce an heir... If this was the year 1510 I could be beheaded for not producing an heir!! I realize my husband is not that shallow as to leave me for some one who could produce a child. But I want more then anything to give him the sons/daughters he deserves.

What if... We turn 70 and we have no children? We will end up having to sell his family's heritage, and history instead of having someone to pass that legacy on to...

What if... We never have a biological child but we get the opportunity to adopt and can create a new legacy!! And his name will still have chance to live on? I hope that no matter what we will have a child, whether it is born through my body or through my heart. I will give him a child!!

Please go over to Mels blog and read other IFs.

www.resolve.org/infertility101

www.resolve.org/takecharge

Fertili Tea

I can't believe it but I have been drinking my FertiliTea faithfully since I got it. And you all won't believe this!! I'm actually getting the warnings that Auntie Flow is coming soon... I don't want to be a TMI poster. But I have had visual confirmation that Auntie Flow is in town and will be arriving at my door soon!!! Like maybe this afternoon!!!! I'm amazed!!! I actually started drinking the tea on Monday Apr 12th in the afternoon! I had just placed the order the Friday (9th) before!! That is some super fast shipping!! The tea tastes AWESOME!! It is exactly just like the peppermint tea I already drink . It's not hard to get used to at all. And the tablets aren't bothering my stomach which I was a little worried about. I feel really good. No weird side effects. I'm just totally floored that this stuff is working so quick! I never in a million years would have expected it to work in a weeks time. I even think I'm going to run by the drug store today and buy a box of sticks for my CBEFM. I pulled the darn thing out of the back of the closet yesterday and blew the dust of it. Even though I have a strong hatred for that expensive little beast!!! I think I'm ready to see if this stuff will actually make me ovulate!! How awesome would that be? I would love to do a natural cycle for once. I never even cycle!! So here we go girls!!

I know some of you may think I'm giving up on treatments (TI w/ gonal F) for good. But I'm not! I'm just giving up on doing them for now. I just feel like Mr. Farmer and I are not in a good place emotionally right now to start again. With Mama Farmer's health up in the air and all these animals, and no planting season here upon, we just don't have the energy to add into the mix with the fertility stress. All I want to do right now is try my best on my own to get the lady bits into some sort of natural rhythm.

Farming has begun!

It's spring time here in Indiana and it's beautiful! This gorgeous weather is just what we need. Mr. Farmer is working late every evening and I'm catching up on my ridiculously, cheesy chick flicks. Reading my book from book club and soaking in the tub. I have to tell you I'm learning to enjoy my alone time... It only took 7 years together to get to this point. My mama in law has always enjoyed her quiet nights alone during the seasons. I'm still missing our snuggle time. But soon very soon he will be back home early and we will be watching, Shoot um ups, car racing and blood & gore movies and I will be back snuggling and reading my chick lit...

Mr. Farmer and the farm hands have gotten most of the ground worked. Which in layman's terms means it's been cut into to get the air to it and to chop up all the weeds. Some times we work the ground twice depending on the type of crop that was on it the year before. Hubby won't be planting for at least another week he has just been getting the ground prepared for the seed/seedlings. The following pictures are of one of the fields we will be putting watermelons out in.

The tractor on the right is actually a spreader. It is going to spread a pellet type fertilizer on the plowed ground to get it ready for the watermelon seedlings

It just looks like a bunch of dust but it's actually spraying little pellets out of the booms (the wing looking things)

The fact that it hasn't rained in over a week isn't helping either.

This is Farmer Kid (a friend of Mr. Farmer. He idolizes Mr. F it is so cute!!!) laying rows of plastic he actually rides on this piece of equipment and at the end of each row he hops off and cuts the plastic with a shovel. And throws dirt over the end so it won't blow up from the wind.

Farmer kid riding and drinking... I'm not going to say what it is that he is drinking but I'm sure you can imagine. (Farmer Kid is 21 almost 22)

There are 2 disc type things that throw the dirt on the edge of the plastic to bury it and then the tractor pulls the whole contraption to the end. It's a pretty cool process

This is the front of my 4 wheeler... My house is there yonder.... Yeah I don't really say Yonder
I just thought I would throw that in there. In about a week there will be another funny looking contraption come through and poke a hole every few feet through the plastic. And then a farm hand will set a little watermelon seedling inside. I can't wait to get some pics of that. It's pretty cool operation.

And this... This is a Man who is Outstanding in His Field!!!...

Oh my gosh I just crack myself up!!! I have been meaning to do that for awhile. But I can't ever get Mr. Farmer to co-operate so you get a crappy long distance shot of Mr. Farmer. One day I will have a better one for this title.

Thank You Mrs. Ashley!!

This post is kind of a Thank you note and a PSA all wrapped up in one!

The other day I was writing about maybe looking into a fertility treatment that was a little less invasive then the injectables, with constant monitoring. Where my hubby and I, are at right now in our lives with his mama being sick and having to take care of 2 farms and 2 households full time. It's just to hectic to even begin to think about adding a new cycle into the mix right now. Especially since we are full swing in Planting season. So I thought about seeing another doctor and see what he had to say. But I have to say I chickened out!! I'm just not ready to go into all that again. I think I'm just remembering the hour drive to the dr every morning being hopeful and then the hour back to work crying. Then my whole day being jacked up cause I was chock full of hormones and a ball of nerves waiting to hear back about the results. I guess I'm just too freaking sensitive!!! So I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. But I didn't want to keep wasting time!!

But then Mrs. Ashley over at Infertile Myrtle http://ifashley.blogspot.com/ stopped in and told me about FertilAid and how it helped her ovulate!!! I secretly don't think I have ever ovulated! So I was intrigued! I went to the website: http://www.fairhavenhealth.com/ and there are literally tons of reviews from woman who have PCOS or who were regular but not ovulating. And who after having used it and it they began to ovulate and even become regular! I'm not so much buying it to get pregnant all though that would be awesome!! I would just love to be able to start cycling like a "NORMAL" woman! I have NEVER EVER been regular. I would really like to be able to work with my body to get it on some kind of routine. Right after I read the reviews I thought what the hell! it's not expensive and if I could get my body to give me a period just once with out prometruim it would pay for it self in my opinion! So I ordered a bottle of the supplement and bag of the FertiliTea and a Fertility Candle... Yes Total Cheese I know!! But I'm a sucker for candles and I was on a mission!! Oh and they had free shipping!! So I stocked up!! I was on the site for a long time just reading everything I could.They make formulas for guys and gals! Although we won't be needing the guy formula. It actually just sounds like a SUPER DUPER Vitamin! Here are the facts:

FertiliTea Organic and Wildcrafted Herbal Ingredients:
• Chasteberry (vitex) - stimulates the hormones involved with ovulation and helps restore female hormonal balance. It is used as an herbal treatment for infertility and is especially helpful for women with irregular cycles, failure to ovulate, or a short luteal phase.
• Red raspberry leaf - highly regarded for its ability to tone the uterus and muscles of the pelvic region. A highly nutritive ingredient, red raspberry is a powerful fertility-promoting herb, especially when used in combination with peppermint.
• Green tea - a powerful antioxidant that enhances reproductive health by repairing the oxidative damage that occurs naturally as the result of environmental toxins and aging. Much has been written about the positive correlation between green tea and fertility.
• Ladies mantle - a “tonic” herb that is useful in regulating a woman’s monthly cycle. It also exerts a toning effect on the cervix.
• Nettle leaf – contains a wide spectrum of vitamins and minerals that are critical to good reproductive health, including Vitamins A, C, D, K, potassium, phosphorous, iron, and sulfur; also contains calcium, key for conception and maintaining pregnancy.
• Peppermint leaf – gives FertiliTea a delicious flavor and has the added benefit of serving as a sexual stimulant.

Well for everything I ordered it wasn't expensive at all. And free shipping to boot! So if your wanting to try something different check it out! My order said it had shipped out to day too! So that was nice to know that they work quickly! So now I'm beginning to feel like I'm actually being proactive instead of just waiting... Oh and stop by Infertile Myrtle and give her some Love!!!

Thank You Ashley for being so sweet and sharing that info with me I really appreciate it!! And also to the gals who shared links to other bloggers! I have been checking them all out! Thanks again!!!

Oh and I apologize for my lack of skills on making the links Blog "correct" I couldn't for the life of me get the damn thing to work so I gave up!! I'm soo sorry maybe I will one day figure out the art of making a correct clickable link!!

Love & Hugs

Just call me Oscar...

The Grouch that is!! I don't know what my problem is? The last week or so I have just been terribly grouchy... Poor Mr. Farmer!! I wish I knew when My Auntie would show her ugly face! Having PCOS sucks donkey balls!! I can't ever blame my bad moods or crying jags on PMS. Because I never have a freaking period!!! Now I can feel myself getting grouchier as I type this all out! I apologize for that. But my goodness What the hell is wrong with me?

Oh and Sunday was freaking fantastic!!! Mr. Farmer's Uncle asked if we had anything we would like to announce... I said like what? (Knowing full well what he meant!) And Mr. Farmer said yes I've got something to announce: We are heading home! Ha -Ha Ha-Ha! Then Uncle Farmer said NO!! I mean when are we going to hear an announcement about you 2 FINALLY having a baby? We need another baby in this family!! I'm beginning to think you all don't know how to do it!! Maybe we need to have some classes!!! Then Mr. Farmer's grandmother jumped up on the bandwagon. She starts saying how I've got to be the one to have the twins in the family! Because every generation has a set of twins... I didn't have the patience or the guts to explain to Mr. Farmer's Grandmother that Mr. Farmer's family twin gene won't get passed on though him... So after about 10 minutes of crude jokes about learning how to "do it" we made it out of there. The sides of my cheeks are still hurting from having to bite them so hard to keep from speaking my mind!! That I guess may be part of the reason why I'm still grouchy! Why do nosy family members feel the need to throw it in your face that you have yet to produce an "heir?"

Oh lord I'm so thankful that the holidays are over for now. I hope everyone had a peaceful and restful Holiday. Easter was so beautiful this year!!! (The Weather not the family gatherings!!:)

I think I'm gearing myself up for trying a different route of Infertility treatment. I'm not sure though if it will help a woman with PCOS. I have heard about this amazing OB/GYN in town not too far from where we live. I will give you all a link and see if you can fill me in.

I was raised Catholic in a VERY Religious family. But as of late I have become a lapsed Catholic... I have had a hard time with the teachings of The Church on Infertility treatments. My mother's entire family is VERY fertile so they practice The Creighton Method for family planning.

So today I was so down in the dumps and blue about not being able to do another cycle until our family life clams down. I find myself searching on Google and low and behold I found catholicinfertility.org

I'm not sure what made me follow that site to this link:
Fertilitycare.org

I thought it was all very interesting. But what do you think? I have to say I am interested in at least speaking to a Dr. who deals with the NaProTECHNOLOGY. But do you think that it's all it's cracked up to be? Or is it just another smoke and mirror ploy? I don't know if I want to start all over again with a new doctor and a new office. But I will admit I'm having some mixed emotions about going the IVF route. It's not because of growing up Catholic. I think I'm just worried about the tremendous amount of stress, money and emotion going into it. But I feel comfortable with IUI's those don't seem as foreboding to me for some strange reason. But there isn't hardly anything on the above site about PCOS so I guess I would really need to get more info before I proceed. But do you all think I'm wasting my time trying another venture? Or should I just stick with the tried and true?

Getting to know me

You know I didn’t realize until today that I have never really told you all too much about myself. As far as where I came from and what I did before I began blogging. So here is some background info.

I’m 27 years old. I work as a wholesale salesperson/Administrative Assistant in a very large wholesale tire company. I have been here for 7 years. I work in a predominantly male work environment. Which is awesome the majority of the time! I use to work at a hospital on in Alzheimer’s Unit as a CPCT. I love that job! I worked there for over 3 years. I lived with my Grandmother while I worked there. It was a fun time in my life. But I broke my foot and had to quit. So I got this job and moved back to my hometown.

I have been with my hubby for over 8 years we were set up on a blind date and the rest is history I guess. We just clicked! It was awesome. We had both come out of some rocky relationships. A friend of mine knew his mother and talked to her about me. So she set a time up so she and I could meet one day. So I actually met his Mama Farmer before I actually met him. It was so funny and cute.

We live on a farm, were we grow mostly grains, such as soybeans, corn and wheat. Occasionally sunflowers too which is just about the most amazing site on creation!!! I hope heaven is just like a 1,000-acre field of sunflowers. I will send you pictures if he puts some out this year. I have been in love with farming since I was a little girl. That was all I wanted in life was to grow up and marry my grandpa or my uncles. Which ended up being quite a dreadful blow when I found out I couldn’t actually do that!!! So I just settled with the next best thing: spending every moment I could at my grandfather’s house helping him and taking care of him after my grandmother passed away.

I was home-schooled (please don’t hold that against me) through most of my school years. From Middle School on. I hated it to begin with and then I got used to it. By the time I was in High School I liked it enough I guess. Because I could take my schoolwork over to my grandfathers and hang out with him. As the years went on I really wanted to pursue the nursing field because my grandfather had gotten cancer and being with him so much I ended up becoming his nurse and I loved it. After he died. I then worked on becoming a C.N.A at a local nursing home and from there I found a great job at St. Mary’s a very large hospital in Evansville and worked there for close to 3 years. While I was living there a friend introduced me to Mr. Farmer as I said above. But then I broke my foot and so I moved home and took a job where I didn’t have to work weekends or holidays and I was closer to Mr. Farmer. So that was a nice little perk. Mr. Farmer and I got married in 2006 and we live on his families farm. He is a 6th generation farmer. The farm has passed from son to son for 6 generations and I know he hopes to be able to do the same one day.

I have one older sister who is 33 and is the mother of 4 children, 3 boys and a little girl. She married a man she went to college with. And they live in Rhode Island. He is getting ready to start a doctorate program at Princeton University. So they will be moving at some point this summer. My brother is 24 he is an Aviation Ordnance men in the Navy. His home base is on the Island of Oahu, in Hawaii. He has just Re-upped for 3 more years. And is looking forward to going to Afghanistan for a year training the Afghan police force.

My Hubby is 34 years old he works full time as a Farmer he also hauls grain for local companies. Which tends to keeps him pretty busy through the winter and early spring. He has 1 older sister who is married and has 3 children and she lives quite close so we get to have the kids a lot. My husband and I are each other’s best friends pretty much. We do just about everything together. We can talk about everything together. I love that about our relationship.

We have slowly been building our businesses. Trucking and farming. We recently just built a new barn at our home. Our other outbuildings are all near his parents or down the lane from our home and we wanted one close to our home. So we finished that last Christmas. And now he has his eye on a new tractor!!! Of course his excuse always is that we will need a BIG tax write off!! So now he needs one for 2010 since we already used the barn for 2008 and 2009. God Love him. I swear I never learned so much about money/taxes and business as I did the 1st few months of being married.

My parents are still married to each other. They live about 10 minutes away from us on my father's family farm that has been in his family since the revolutionary war. My dad works for a Railroading company. He never liked farming so My hubby farms his ground for him. My mother just got her 1st job last year. She works part time at a local hard ware store. (Which in my humble opinion is: absolutely hysterical!!!) The woman never worked a day in her life outside of staying home with us. And it’s the funniest thing hearing about her working. She got a job because she was lonely. My dad works out of town a lot and they live way out in the sticks. So with my brother being gone now I guess she wanted some human interaction. Which like I said when you hear her stories it’s like she has never had contact with the outside world before… My mother is probably my biggest annoyance in this life!! I LOVE my dad but my mother is just an entirely different story. Needless to say I don’t talk about TTC with her cause every body in my home town and the neighboring counties would know if I told her.


Now I challenge you all to do the same!! Instead, of us writing the posts floating around with the random questions. I just want you to tell me about where you came from! How you got to where you are today I want to get to know you all, minus the infertility, charting, family problems, and all the fantastic doctor’s Appointments…

Frustration

We had a little glimmer of hope this past week. It was nice, Mama Farmer was doing better. The weather warmed up. We started looking forward to the Spring. Hubbs and I got to get away for the weekend. It was for my job. We were put up in a nice hotel and were given food and booze until we could barely walk back to our room. Mama Farmer wanted to celebrate her children's b-day's: My Hubby and his his Older sister were born 6 years and a day apart. So we all cooked out at The Farmer Family Home place. It was great! Mama farmer was actually laughing and smiling. She ate (which has been VERY hard to get her to do) and we all had a great time. Then today that glimmer just vanished! The home health nurse found Mama farmer's incisions were beginning to ooze and she had a fever... The nurse had to move her back to the hospital. The doctor is wanting her there for observation. It's like we were peddling a bike up the side of a mountain, we were just about to make the summit... And Wham-O we ended up sliding halfway back down the.

I don't know what to do or what to say to her anymore. She has been told a thousand times she won't heal, if she doesn't eat. But she thinks drinking one little bottle of Ensure a day is good enough. And we can't seem to get through to her. I know my hubby is at his wit's end right now. I just want to scream at her that the worst is over!!! She shouldn't be getting depressed now. She has a better prognosis now then she had back in October. When they were telling her the Cancer was in-operable. But now that she has the worst of the Cancer removed she just is so depressed and it's like fighting with a child to make her eat. I don't know what to do.

Please keep My Hubby and his Mother in your thoughts and prayers.

100 posts!!!!

I'm happy to tell you all that I hit 100 posts today!! And I get to share some great news that my Mama In law is doing wonderful! Thank you all for praying for her! Considering what she has just been through and the size of the tumor that got removed (the size of an orange or roughly 3in around.) She has been such a trooper! She was smiling last night and we had her laughing too!! She is beginning to get some color back in her cheeks! So that is awesome news in my book!! Mr. Farmer is actually starting to sleep through the night again. He hasn't slept good in over 2 weeks. She still has a long road ahead of her. She has cancer on the lymph nodes around her liver which is inoperable but it can be treated with chemo. But she can't start treatments for that until she heals from this surgery. So I'm going to ask you all again for your prayers for my Mama in Law. She needs to heal quickly and the cancer needs to not grow anymore! And then we can start treatments in another month or so.

I'm so glad that this was my 100th post!!! I never in a million years would have thought that my 100th post would have been about my Mama in Law having surgery to remove cancer. I'm amazed at how this blog has evolved. I'm proud of it! I see this blog as some what of an infant. My baby. My Cyber baby. I'm glad I could share all of this with you. Thank you all for reading!!!

Want a Laugh?

I tend to be late to everything in my life... I don't know why! I try and try and try to be early but I never quite accomplish it. At work I tend to be 3 to 5 minutes late every morning. I sit at a desk all day long so I make up for it. I don't usually get out of here till well after 4:00. So all last week I had my my appt card for my dentist taped to my office phone. It was just a cleaning/check up. I have been seeing this dentist since I was probably 10 or 11. So his whole staff know me well. When I got married I actually had to bring my wedding photos in so the girls could all look them over... Yes small town Indiana!! You got to love it!! So Last Friday I turned my phone off and mentally told myself to tell my co workers I will be coming in late to work on Monday because I had a 7:45 appt... (I heard several um Later then Normals?) And I would try to be here by 9:00. The town I have to drive to for my Dentist appt is actually 30 min away from my home and in a different time zone. So this morning I get all my crap together and TRY to leave in enough time to get to my appt... Well me being ME I ended up having to speed all the way there and I pulled into the parking lot at 7:48... Which is not too bad for me! I walk in sign the sheet. I notice only one other patient is sitting in the waiting room. And I sit down and he shares the paper with me. Then I see the nurse pull the sign up sheet into the office. And she and the receptionist are talking and pointing on the computer screen. And then one of the girls calls in the other patient and takes him back. I figure it will be a good little bit before I'm called so I settle in. And then the glass slides back and my dentist's wife says Mrs. Farmer you aren't down until tomorrow!!

I felt my mouth fall open and the paper I was reading landed in heap on the chair next to me. I had mental flash of that damn little appt card stuck to my phone... And I remembered that it did say Jan 26th! And all I could do was just laugh!! I couldn't help my self!! Then she began to laugh. And she says well we may able to wiggle you in if the next appt doesn't show up... But I have a feeling he probably will. So we stand and laugh about how I'm such an idiot and how I was positive the card said Monday!!... But I was pretty sure now that it said the 26th. She thanked me for being so easy going about it. She said it happens all the time and most of the time the patients get really ticked off!! And then blame the girls for messing it up!! I know I'm an idiot and I'm not about to blame someone who does this everyday and then tell her she is the one at fault! When I'm the idiot who can't read!!!
So I sit down and wait for the 8:00 appt to arrive and she checks her voicemail to see if there were any cancellations. And thankfully there was one!! A lady cancelled her appt for 4:15. And Mrs. Dentist asked if I would rather come back tomorrow morning or come back this afternoon? I said this afternoon would be so much better cause I work 15 minutes away and I get off at 4:00 so I would have to head out a whole lot earlier in the morning then I usually do. So I was happy my screw up got fixed. And I think that it will be easy to slip right back down here and no one will be the wiser...
So I head back out on the main highway thinking I will just keep this little screw up under my hat and not tell any one....

Not 5 miles later I see My Hubby heading south in one of the semi's and he flashes his headlights at me... I'm busted!!! Mr. Farmer was hauling grain to E-ville and here I thought he was going to be in Terre Haute all day. But he wasn't and he knew what time my appt was!!
And here I am headed to work at 8:05!! He calls and says what's going on? I'm laughing hysterically!! I said so much for trying to keep my screw ups to myself!! And he says your appt isn't today is it?!!! I said no! How did you guess? He just laughed and said I guess you will be getting to work at your usual time then right? I said no!! It will be later then normal!! But I will be late getting home tonight!! He laughed and told me he loved me. I told him the only reason he married me was so he could laugh every day!! He told me that's the truth!!!

Man I love that man!!!



The following has been edited to protect the innocent....

I'm slowly coming out of my coma...

I fell off the face of the earth!! Yes I did!! I have fallen and I'm just starting to get up...

I think I just got into a funk of not wanting to deal with all the crap going on. So I just shut it out of my head (thinking like I usually do) that I would deal with it later...

My checking account got hacked into and over $600 was stolen from me... That took about 2 weeks to resolve. So thank God that is over! Then the company I work for thought it would be fun to change our whole sales software. They didn't give our customers any warning. Much less a warning for us. It was a VERY bad decision and in the end it has come back to bite them but has caught all us lowly sales people in the cross hairs. And yet again 2 other friends are pregnant. I found out recently and it hit me pretty hard. Both of these women have 4 children each already. And they have hardly any means of supporting the children they do have and yet they are adding another one to the brood. And I'm supposed to be happy about this?!!!!

On a happier note the Chemo for my Mother In law has been making short work of her tumor and hopefully in a matter of weeks, possibly days she will be undergoing surgery to remove it.

My husband and I have been taking care of her creatures... She is the female equivalent of Dr. Doolittle. Her animals miss her tremendously! I never thought too much of the relationship of human to animal until now. I really think it is an amazing bond, I have been privileged to witness over the past few months. You can tell that the horses know she is ill. She isn't always able to go with us to feed. But when she does they are gentler with her. They don't rush her like they used to when she was strong and healthy.

I think I'm becoming more aware of things lately. I don't know if I'm just coming into my own or aging or what is happening to me? But I had this A-ha moment yesterday at work when one of my co workers was complaining about how his wife got mad at him for leaving something where it wasn't supposed to be. I guess she just jumped all over him for it. I listened to his story for a bit and went back to my office thinking life is entirely too short for that crap. I never thought that I was a non-confrontational person? But I thought what good comes from bitching out your husband for putting his brief case on the hall table instead of under it? I guess I value the peace that Mr farmer and I have in our little life together too much. That just I don't see the point in getting all worked up over something so petty.

I know I'm rambling but I just thought I would put a thought into every one's head about maybe instead of bitching about something we can fix easily ourseleves. Maybe we should just do it and then just enjoy the peace from not being the nagging one...

Please flame me or comment I want your thoughts!

wedding re hash

I stole this from Rain @ raining raining In honor of Mr. Farmer and I's 3rd anniversary I thought I would share some little stories about our wedding. I loved every minute of it!

1 .Where/how did you meet: We were set up. I met my Hubbs through his Mama!!! She and I got our nails done by the same girl and the Nail tech thought we would be perfect for each other. So she set up our appointments back to back so we could meet. I loved his mama when I met her. She was so funny and sweet. I gave her my number and said he if is interested in me he can call me... And that's how it happened!

2. How long have you known each other: almost 8 years!

3. How long after you met did you start dating: Well he called me on Feb 13th and asked to take me out to dinner and we meet that following weekend. We didn't say we were officially dating for a couple weeks

4. How long did you date before you were engaged: Oh man I think it was close to 2 years I think.

5. How long was your engagement: almost 2 years

6. How long have you been married: 3 years today!!!!

7. What is your anniversary: Nov 18th

8. How many people came to your wedding reception: close to 400

9. What kind of cake did you serve: Cheese Cakes!! We had Turtle, snickers, Chocolate chip, pumpkin spice, apple, Cherry, Strawberry, and then plain cheese cake with different sauces.

10. Where was your wedding: In a very old Church out in the country near where we live. I went to it as a child. It was beautiful!!

11. What did you serve for your meal: BBQ!!! We had 4 hogs smoked and we had a bar B que for our reception!! We also had turkey smoked too. It turned out awesome!! Also there was a TON of beer! What is a country wedding without beer and bbq?

12. How many people were there in your bridal party: 10 adults and 2 kiddos

13. Are you still friends with them all: Yes

14. Did you or your spouse cry during the ceremony: Mmm I don't think he cried he had a couple tears glistening in the corner of his eyes. I cried a couple times.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day: Probably when it was just he and I driving alone to the reception. It was silence for a few minutes and we could just be alone in all the commotion

16. Any funny moments: Oh we had a bunch!! One of the ones I don't want to forget was the night before at the rehearsal. He and I were standing at the altar and the deacon was going over the lighting of the unity candle. And he was talking about what to do if it didn't light. Then Mr. Farmer said: "Well I'll just flick my dick out... He meant to say: "I'll just flick my bic out!!" Bic being a lighter! I snorted and coughed... Then I started to turn purple I was laughing so freaking hard. Not many people could hear what he had said. But my dad, the deacon and my matron of honor heard it. But the 2 of us couldn't contain the laughter we had the giggles the rest of the night. Then we laughed again during the ceremony when we were lighting the candle for real. Here we were supposed to be serious and were snickering at this momentous occasion...

Oh and my husbands sister, brother in law and cousins came to our house and did a chivary. It's where your friends or family play pranks on you and sometimes they can end up being kind of mean... But they just did a whole lot of harmless pranks. We pulled into our driveway and we had an "Its a boy" sign in the front yard. They filled our bed with salt, they took all of our under ware and my bras and put them in the deep freeze. They filled out salt shakers with sugar. Took all the labels off the can goods. set all the alarms to go off at an 1 hour intervals after 1 am. Turned the volume up on everything. Put Vaseline on the toilets seats. Took all the toilet paper and towels and hid them. It was funny but maddening.

17. Any big disasters: The bread didn't get brought by the caterers for some reason. So at the last minute I had family members all over town buying bread!! Oh and the reception hall charged everyone for soda for the 1st half hour or so but was giving away the alcohol!! It was supposed to be an open bar!

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon: My brother was home from Iraq so we didn't go anywhere for a honeymoon so we could spend time with him.
19. How long were you gone: N/a

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change: I wouldn't have spent so much on my dress!! And I wouldn't have picked out such thin, sleeveless dresses for my bridesmaids... What was I thinking it was November?!! And I probably would have had a different DJ cause he didn't play the one song I really wanted to dance in my big poofy dress. My dream was to dance the Rocky Top. Which is a tradition at all the local weddings and I grew up dreaming of dancing the Rocky Top with my Hubby on my wedding night. But he didn't play it and I didn't realize it didn't get played till we were driving home.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on: on the right (as I'm laying in the bed)

22. What size is your bed: Queen

23. Greatest strength as a couple: We don't take things too seriously. We are both pretty laid back. Things don't shake us up too much.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple: Probably us being too laid back!! ;)

25. Who literally pays the bills: Well I usually write them out and mail them... :) Does that count? He is the bread winner. My paycheck goes for our retirement and health insurance. Then I buy groceries and gifts and things.

26. What is your song: When Somebody Loves You By: Alan Jackson

27. What did you dance your first dance to: When Somebody Loves You By: Alan Jackson

28. Describe your wedding dress: Satin with lots of gold and silver embroidery all over!! It was everywhere and short train.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding: Red & ivory roses, ivory orchids with ivy, ivory chrysanthemums, and then lots of rust and pink fillers. Then I found these beaded things that you could cut and stick into the flowers and they were gold and rust colored. And Eucalyptus sprigs

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? No I wish we had gotten them done. But since Hubby works in some dangerous equipment he doesn't wear his.


Mr. Farmer ever the mechanic... Yes he is working on the toy tractor we bribed our nephew with to walk down the aisle.


One of my favorite group shots. I guess you can tell its the wedding party freezing their hind ends off!!!


My bouquet. Somehow or another when I loaded these last night I guess I forgot to flip it right side up. So just do a head stand at your desk and you can get the full effect of my beautiful flowers.


The back of my dress.



My Mama in Law dancing with Mr. Farmer



The shyest little flower girl around!! She isn't in ANY group shots!! She had a couple little Diva moments. My mom and her parents were wanting to force her to be in the pictures and she kept crying so I said don't worry about it we will get some good ones of her later. And we have a ton of her at the reception. But that's just one of the things we will always remember and embarrass her with when she is older:)



Mr. & Mrs. Farmer



Sweet little Country Church

Baseline Appt

I survived them even though they had to split the appointments up over 2 days and then they had to draw my blood from my wrist! Other then all that they went swimmingly!!! Yes I'm a hard stick and that sucks!! I have one good vein in my left arm I try to get them to use it but only the brave will try it. They always try this one vein in my right arm that appears to be good but is sneaky... And then they dig around in my arm and make me want to pass out! Just so I don't have to deal with the fact that this moron is digging around in my flesh with a sharp metal object just trying to find some blood!!! Sunday morning I had to have CD3 blood draw and that ended up being a good thing cause after I got my blood drawn I actually took my heathen butt to church!! I hadn't gone in a good while. I actually went to a local church near the hospital. So that was nice and then I went shopping!!!

I broke one of the cardinal rules in infertility Sunday while I was shopping. Target was having a sale and they had a ton of Maternity clothes on the clearance rack. I got a couple pairs of work pants for $7 and a really cute top for $4. I know I shouldn't have done that but I did!! But I'm justifying the buying of maternity clothes because I have heard the bloat on Gonal F is terrible!! And I refuse to buy a bigger size of pants!!! So if my belly swells to a point that I can no longer wear my own clothes I will let myself slip into the same size I currently wear only in a maternity pant!! Does this sound like the ramblings of a lunatic? I think so....

But anyway they were cute and I can't pass up a good deal if I wanted to. So now I have confessed to the fact that I now own maternity clothes and I am indeed NOT PREGNANT!!! How pathetic!! But hey retail therapy is a proven fact and I do feel better after buying them!!!

Tomorrow is our third anniversary I will try and post some pics of our wedding. It was beautiful and homey, country and classic. I loved every little bit of our wedding. Not to mention the cute groom!!! So I will be working on that this afternoon.

Oh and no I didn't get the measurements of my lining yesterday during the ultrasound. I was actually in a state of sheer awe! I was amazed that we are actually HERE!!! We are starting our 1st real cycle!! Nurse Prac T did say we are good to go for this cycle and we aren't being told by DR. B to do an IUI so I'm happy about that. TI is fine for us since Mr. Farmer passed his test with flying colors or should I say Olympic swimmers!! I think C the overly informative Nurse Prac just wanted to give us that info. So we could think about it (or freak out about it!!). And last night on the way to my niece's first dance performance I got the call from freedom pharmacy for the 1 dose of Ovidrel I will need. I got most of the meds donated all but 1 dose of Ovidrel. It has been such an amazing journey to get here. I can't believe all the caring souls out there in this infertility network we have. I'm truly blessed to have found you all!!

My first dose of Gonal F is tonight I can't wait!! I'm soo excited!! I can't believe we are going to be shooting me up with our 1st round the night before our anniversary. It all seems like good signs to me!! So stay tuned for emotional ramblings this week I'm sure they will be doozies!!

Love & Hugs
Mrs. Farmer :)

The C word...

I have avoided blogging for a week now. I just couldn't find the words. I'm still at a loss for where to begin or how to begin. Sometimes it seems like trouble just follows us. My husband and I. Now it seems to have filtered into our family. On Wednesday afternoon of last week. My husbands mother, the most wonderful person in the world was diagnosed with colon cancer. Our lives have just gone topsy turvey and I feel like I could vomit right now. I thought I would just go along and not blog about this because I am a somewhat anonymous blogger. But the more I sit here and keep it bottled up the more it hurts. I'm VERY VERY close to my MIL she is wonderful. My husband is very close to her too. She actually introduced me to her son. We have such a great relationship and now I may lose it. I feel so guilty for not being able to provide her grandchildren from my husband and I. I know how much she wants my hubby to have a baby boy. And so I guess I just needed to put this all out here and get it off my chest. I can't carry it around any longer. She doesn't want anyone to know just yet. So just our immediate family know and that's it. This morning we took her to the hospital to get a port set up in her chest for chemo treatments and as I'm typing this she is receiving her 1st round of chemo. All I can think of is I will lose the one women in my life who feels like my mother. My mother is not my mom. She isn't mentally stable and my MIL has always been there for me. She actually was going to be the one person I wanted with me when I delivered my children. I'm so scared and worried about her and my husband. I know this is just another trial in our life that will bring us all closer together.

Oh and to top it all off tomorrow I will have to call the RE for the start of this cycle!! Here we go medicated cyle. I'm so worried about all this. But Hubbs wants to go ahead with our plans. So PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY for us!!!! I'm soo going to need it!!!

This weekend

Well I have an update of sorts on little S the girl I wrote about here
She has been found. Her mother had abandoned her. But now she is in the custody of her grandparents. Thank You Lord!!! We found this out last night from my hubbs cousin. They really think she will be happier now. I can't imagine what had happened and her mother ought to be thrown in jail for life. But I don't think they even know where she is. Oh and the kicker is this women had another child that was an infant and she left it with a friend of hers to raise!!! WTH?!! I'm just glad that S will be taken care of and will not have to survive on her own any more and is in a home of people who love her and will protect her.

Our weekend went well the weather was beautiful!! I worked on getting the porches decorated for fall. One of the perks of living in a farming community is that you can always "borrow" melons, pumpkins, corn you name it we swap for it. Usually Mr. Farmer gets called out by the local farmers to come and fix equipment or to advise on broken tractors etc. Hubby has been a tractor mechanic for years. He loves tinkering on anything with a motor. As long as its not a chevy that is... :) He is a tad partial to Fords. Anyway hubs took me to one of our neighbors pumpkin fields to get pumpkins cause I have been hounding him for a week to bring some home when he ran by there... But this way I got to pick my own. We had about 14 mama jama pumpkins in the bed of that truck. They are just gorgeous this year. There is just something about fall that just stirs me up inside. I love the falling leaves and the colors and the crisp air. I just love love love fall! I love getting to wear my sweaters and boots! Riding in the combine with my honey. Having bon fires and roasting marshmallows. Mmmm I just love fall!! I took some pictures too. I have to tell you I'm addicted to hearts. I collect them and if its cool and unusual I will buy the item that is covered in hearts, is a heart or what have you. Saturday I was grocery shopping and found a huge container of gourds which I usually buy a few for decorations. So I start digging in this bin for the best gourds and I find myself a little gourd that had a heart!! It was so unusual!!!




I'll post some pictures of the pumpkins we got last night later. For now I will show you a pic of my favorite flower/bush thingy that is in my front yard. I have no idea what the name is but I have 5 of them and they are huge. And the butterflies love them!!! The flowers are just covered in butterflies throughout the day.




Oh and if your wondering if my body has reacted badly to the prometrium!!! I will have to tell you that is hasn't!! I can't believe it!!! I'm actually on double the dose I have usually been on in the past. But this time around I haven't had the bloating, nor the severe cramps, headaches, nausea. I really think its because of the acupuncture. That is the only thing I have done differently since the last prometrium induced period which was Jan of 2009. So I highly recommend acupuncture!! I have my appointment with Beth the most wonderful acupuncturist in the world this afternoon!! You all will think this is terrible of me. But at my RE appt last Thursday I completely forgot to bring up the fact that I had been going to acu for the past 6 months. I got brain freeze when they told me I was going to have to have an HSG and he wanted me to start inject ables. I wasn't able to think properly after that. But the sad thing is that it wasn't until this morning while washing my hair that I had remembered that I didn't tell him about how I wanted to keep seeing her... Which I really highly doubt it will be a problem this cycle anyway because we aren't officially "trying" this time around. But anyway I guess I'll just tell her to stick me where it will make aunt flow's visit more imminent and skip the traditional Chinese herbs. Oh and the RE recommended that I start taking a baby aspirin and 1000mg of Folic acid along with my prenatal vit. So that might be helping with the lack of side effects. But I'm not sure.

Oh and I'm going to leave you with a couple more pics I took last night. Of my puppies and hubby. My fur kids love watermelon and this will probably be the last melon of the season since we have mowed them all down and plowed the field. We kept several for the kids and this is the last one we had.


Daddy Farmer, Buddy & Maggie



Maggie



Buddy

Update

Well it went swimmingly!! I don't really know why I was soo worried. She has always been so kind and easy to talk to. So now you all know it went great I'll give you the low down.

I went in and got settled pulled out my 5 page chart and waited on her to come and stick me and then light me up like a Christmas tree on times square... (More on that later) And when she came in she saw the huge folded chart and knew that these last herbs hadn't made my bitch of an Auntie show up after all. So I hand it to her she asks how I have been doing? I said well over all I'm doing better then I was last week. I said last week was my birthday and I had a couple of melt downs. It wasn't good. Then she pulled it open and said I see. I document EVERYTHING!! I think you could call me a tad bit anal but I figure the more info I put on that thing the better. So she said whats wrong your only 27 now right? I said ONLY 27!! Yes but I always thought I would be a mom of a couple of kids by 27 or at least be Knocked Up. And I said well Farmer and I talked about it and he is wanting me to go see a specialist. Because he is thinking its been too long and I have to agree with him (ie Aunt flow hasn't been in town in almost 6mo!!!) And then I paused and waited for her to throw my chart at me and start screaming... (not really I knew she wouldn't be that bad.)And she said I totally agree with him!! It has been too long and she said I was actually going to have this same discussion with you after you started these new herbs. So then I felt the 500 pounds of bricks slide off my back and crumble to the ground. She said you look like the picture of health right now!! Your tongue is the prettiest tongue I have ever seen (This is how they diagnose for problems in traditional Chinese medicine. So no it wasn't a come on!!! Even though I do think my tongue is pretty hot!)She said 6 months ago it was not in good shape at all. She told me I had come a long way. And my pulse is stronger then she has ever felt on me. So overall there is no reasonable explanation for me not to be having a period. (Except that my body is so freaking stubborn that its not even funny.) So now the game plan is for me to finish these fancy nancy herbs that flew all the way in from California. And then come back in 2 weeks and well do another treatment and then she said she will probably try and get me back into her 1 more time before the RE and then we will wait and see what he says. She agrees with me that the acupuncture can only have made me healthier for finally getting pregnant. I have actually never felt as good health wise as I do now. So now I feel like everything is falling into place. I'm not pent up with emotions and I have made it almost 24 hours with out crying so that's a start right?