Under the Gun

I have fallen off the proverbial blog wagon yet again! I get into a rut and it sucks me down even deeper!! I have actually been working on a HUGE Project for work the past several weeks and it SUCKS big time!!! So all my blogging time flew right out the window. For that I apologize. I have so much to catch you all up on. But I can't do it this very moment. Please pray that I can get through this project with out harming, maiming or killing any co-workers! That would be really BAD for business!!! :(
(Not to mention that it would probably be hard to blog from a Jail Cell)
I love you all!!! And I miss you all so terribly!

August

I have been MIA for over a month now. I suddenly got struck with a severe allergic reaction to blogging. Not sure why. But I avoided writing at all costs!! I really can't explain why I get into ruts like this but I do. So before I let a whole month slip away with out blogging I'm going to do a month in review....

The last week of July Mama Farmer was told before she did more chemo she would need to have a round of immunity boosting shoots. So from the 1st of August through the 4th she got shots to help build her immunity. On the 6th she had to have more fluid drained from her abdomen. Poor gal has been having anywhere from 7 to 9 liters drained each week. It's become her Friday afternoon ritual.

On August 10th was our monthly Book Club meeting. Which I was hosting this time around. We ended up having a record amount of attendees. Which was awesome because it was our 1 year anniversary!! It was quite exciting seeing how big we had grown in a years time. The book we discussed was my pick. I was actually a little disappointed. I chose: Eat, Pray, Love By: Elizabeth Gilbert. I chose it mostly because the movie was going to be coming out 3 or 4 days after our meeting. It was a very hard book for me to get through. I was not impressed! I actually liked the movie more then the book. I think that's the first time I have ever been able to say that. But anyway check out the movie it was great. The book club went as a group to a matinee on the following Saturday. It was a blast seeing it together because we all were laughing at the same times and whispering to each other when we thought something would have looked different in the movie. We meet for lunch at a great little downtown cafe. It was a wonderful book club meeting and Saturday lunch date.

August 13th Mama Farmer had to have another 9 liters drained... The doctors are beginning to be more and more concerned with the amount of fluid she is creating. So they have decide to put off doing Chemo till her strength returns and hopefully the liver will cut back on creating so much excess fluid...

The next week was actually pretty uneventful except for my weekly exercise class. Back in July my mama literally begged me to take a Zumba class with her. She is always looking for something for "Us" to do together. So we can bond.... I don't know if you all know this but my mother drives me batty!! But I knew she wouldn't let up unless I just gave in and went with her. So I did and no I have a new obsession!!!! Zumba !!!!! Oh my goodness if you don't know what this is you need to run to your local gym and beg for them to start it!!! I also thought that if I went to this class with my mom I would be able to spend time with her, without "spending" time with her. If you get my drift!! :) I have been working really hard and diet and exercise this past month. I'm going to the gym for Zumba 2 to 3 days a week. I haven't lost any lbs but I know I'm losing serious inches!!! My arms and legs are getting so toned!! I can't believe it!!! And now I don't feel guilty for ever seeing my mother... And we are sooo busy working out she can't say anything snarky!!! I only have to listen to her snarkiness walking into class and walking out! How about them apples?

August 18th and 19th I had my yearly meltdown... The one where I am reminded at how old my ovaries are going to be on the 20th of August. Last year I had a melt down at work when I came back from lunch and my office had a surprise birthday party for me. They had cake, ice cream, balloons, flowers, the works! Yes I know you probably think I'm to young to have birthday melt downs! But I always thought I would have had all my kiddos by now and my hubby and I would just be happy raising toddlers in to happy children... Not trying to deal with the fact that I may never be a parent... So this year I took the dreaded day off so as to avoid any surprises. Side note: Tears and snot don't look very nice on pastel cake icing
I had planned on spending the whole day with my hubby hauling grain and not letting my brain wonder to "the Dark side." But my mother being the wonderful mother that she is. Had other plans!! My mom planned a lunch date for me, mom, dad my aunt (my godmother) Aka Mrs. Fertile Mertyle and 3 of her 11 children. She has never had a multiple these are all singletons!! She is a wonderful mother! She is a stay at home mom. My uncle has a wonderful job. But of all people for my mother to surprise me with this is the woman! I got to spend the one day that is the darkest for me staring back at her with watching my sweet little cousin cuddle in her lap. And knowing if she wanted to she could have one more... Yes these are the woman in my family the ones that say I'm ready for another one... 9 months later they have a beautiful baby bundle in their arms. I am the 2nd oldest grandchild of 42 grandchildren!!! This number does not include any great grand babies! My mom's side of the family is huge and it's so frustrating because every female is fertile but me!!!
So I sit at my surprise birthday luncheon trying to enjoy myself and I do for the most part. But sometimes my heart burns being around the woman on mom's side. Because they are all blissfully ignorant of the pain associated with being reproductively challenged. I thanked her profusely for driving up with the kiddos and and spending time with me on my birthday. This aunt is actually closer in age to me then she is to my mother. When I was younger we were quite close. She was just like an older sister to me and my sister.
By the time I had gotten home I was so emotionally drained. I had wanted to avoid all subjects pertaining to pregnancy, birth, babies, children, etc. on my Birthday and instead I was exposed to lethal does of all the above. I was so blue by the time Hubby came home I didn't want to celebrate anymore! But he wanted to take me shopping for my birthday present. I had it in my head that I was going to get an e-reader. I've been drooling over them for awhile now!! And so we drive the hour down to the biggest town around to look them over. And I talk myself out of all of the ones at bes.t buy because they were CRAPPY!!! And me being the tech savvy that I am didn't realize that the only place they had the k.indle was at Ta.rget!! Am I the only one who didn't know that? So we run over to the Ta.rget. To get my Birthday present and guess what? They didn't have ANY!!! And it will be several weeks before they do be cause the new version has just come out!! Just my Luck!! So not only did I not get to do what I wanted for my birthday, I had to suffer through all the questions I cannot stand and then I didn't even get the present that I wanted!!! All I wanted was a day for ME!! Was that to much to ask for?

After the birthday fiasco I had a somewhat quiet week at work. And then we actually got Mama Farmer talked into a little trip with her 2 besties to the French Lick Spa!! We didn't think we were going to get her to go. She changed her mind a half a dozen times before they actually picked her up. She thought she would get sick while she was there or the food wouldn't agree with her. But nothing bad happened. The food all agreed with her and she had a blast with her girlfriends! They got the works done. (As much as she could participate in considering her health) I tell you though, she looked like a different woman when she came home! She was literally glowing Sunday afternoon! I really think it boosted her morale. We all have tried so hard to help her and to be there for her. We have tried everything in our arsenal to cheer her up and to help her feel better. But I guess there are just some things that only your girlfriends can do...

That my friends if you are still here and made it this far was my month... I hate that I have been so lax in writing. I'm hoping to remedy that! I plan on doing a blog kick in the pants! So stay tuned.

Love & Hugs to you all!!

Flip Flop Swap: Blog Edition

You may have heard about the Flip-Flop Swap chain letter, and perhaps even participated in it. Well, it's about to become viral, with your help! Originating on The Mis-Adventures of a Modern Day Farmer's Wife (hey, that's me), the rules are slightly different, but in the end, you'll send out one pair of flip-flops and get a whole bunch back in the mail from your blog readers. It's based on the honor system, and it's called The Flip-Flop Swap: Blog Edition!


Here's how it works:

1. Write a post on your blog about the Flip-Flop Swap. Grab the code for the button above by clicking on it, and include it at the top of your post. Switch the email address (in step #3) to your own, and list the rules, describing how it works, and linking back to the blog you found this swap on (in your case, it's The Mis-Adventures of a Modern Day Farmer's Wife [since I'm starting it]). Feel free to copy and paste this exact post - just be sure to change the email address in step #3 to your own, and use my blog's name in the previous sentence.

2. Add your name to the McLinky list below. This is just to track how far and wide the Flip-Flop Swap: Blog Edition has traveled. Make sure you add the McLinky code to your post, too.

3. Once you have published the post, email me: farmerswife06@hotmail.com, and request my mailing address. I will check your blog to make sure you have posted about this swap (a sign of good-faith, and verifies that you're not some creepy blog troll). Then I'll send you my address and shoe size. You mail me a pair of flip-flops - it's the only pair of flip-flops you'll have to buy. Please make them good quality flip-flops - some of those cheap flip-flops are only worth what you pay for them (and yes, I'm referencing Old Na.vy).

4. For everyone that re-posts your "Flip-Flop Swap" post (using their own email address), they'll be coming back to you, requesting your address, and sending you flip-flops. If you don't think they're legit, you have the choice to not release your personal address to them - your only loss is that you won't get a pair of flip-flops from that person. Remember: Safety is always #1. Also, if you've received enough flip-flops to satisfy your flip-flop needs, just stop giving out your mailing address. That's the beauty of it. You have all the control in how many flip-flops come your way.

5. The more people that read your post and re-post it on their own blog, the more flip-flops you can receive.

6. While it's not mandatory, feel free to blog and post pictures of the flip-flops you receive from your bloggy friends.

7. Let's flip-flop this blogosphere on its head, and spread the bloggy love! =)

Flip Flop Update

I don't know about you all but I have found some of the most awesome friends through my blog. Marla being one of them she has helped me when I've been in some real pickles!! And now she is currently helping me make the Flip Flop Swap a Shoe Extravaganza!! Marla has such vision! I swear if any of you aren't following her you better be!! Now back to the Flip Flop Swap. Marla and I got to talking about the work involved and what needed to be done to pull this off. And she actually began thinking bigger then just me and my little humble blog. I was just going to do a little ole swap for me and my followers and each of us could get one glam pair of flops and call it a day! But no Marla sees bigger then my little hole in the web. She said why get one pair of Flip Flops when you could get 30? And that's all it took! I was ready to listen!! So soon I will be unveiling the new rules of the Flip Flop Palooza once Marla puts the finishing touches on it. We have been going back and forth on little ideas and soon we will have it all wrapped up and ready to reveal!! And I can't wait! This is going to be fantastic!!! I really can't wait to share it with you all.

Love and Hugs!!

Flip Flop Swap!!

Last night at my Book club meeting one of the gals had an adorable pair of flip flops on. They had a pretty little bedazzled butterfly on the top of her foot. And so I commented on it. And she said a couple years back she got a chain letter sent to her. It had about 6 names or so at the bottom of the letter. And all she had to do was buy 1 pair of flip flops for the girl at the bottom of the list and then forward the letter out to 10 or so of her friends. I think she said if it worked she could get like 36 flip flops. (I'm not sure if I've got the numbers right) She said she ended up getting about 10 pairs! And she only had to buy 1 pair!!!

So this got me thinking. What if we did a bloggy flip flop swap? Instead of doing a chain letter and all that it entails. We would just do a Secret Santa type of project. Anyone who is interested could e-mail me their name, address, and shoe size. Then I would throw all the names in a hat and draw a name. Then we would all have to get our flip flops mailed by July 25th!! And we could even do a bloggy check in on the day so we all could post pics and announce who got who.

I think it could be lots of fun and we would find out more about each other. Please think about it. We wouldn't have to do elaborate or expensive flops. We would have a price cap. And we could even do plain/solid color and we would have to decorate the pair to fit that blogger's personality.

This is just an idea. So please think about it and get back to me!!!

Email me at: farmerswife06@ hotmail.com

Love and lots of Hugs!!!

I cracked the door...

...of the Infertility closet and stuck my bright 1940's secretary red polished toe out and let the light hit it....

I'm not going to say I have come completely out of the closet like one of my heroes But I'm taking baby steps to get to that point. Last night was our monthly book club meeting and it was fantastic!! When I walked into that meeting last night the thought of announcing my struggle to conceive a child was not on the forefront of conversation topics. I use my book club meetings as some what of an escape. Maybe an escape from reality. Que: Queen!!! ::I'm just a poor boy nobody likes me...:: But really I hate to say this, but with all the trials that test a soul it is nice to just step out of it all sometimes. And that is what my book club bubble has become for me. A getaway. So last night we discussed last month's book which was quite gut wrenching to read. It was: In Harm's Way by: Doug Stanton. Which is the story of the sinking of the USS Indianapolis. Which was a very tragic event in WWII. I have to say there was so much information it was hard to read. And the author was VERY GRAPHIC in his description of what happened to these men. But that isn't what led me to crack the door to my closet. We had such a flowing conversation on this book. We got worked up and angry at the government who didn't protect Our Soldiers. We cried about the terrible losses this country had because of it. But then with that we walked our way into so many different places in our discussions. And some how or another we found ourselves in a discussion about labor & delivery, babies and the all too common ttc conversations. Someone mentioned that they would have loved to have gotten the chance of "Trying" to get pregnant instead of being surprised each time. And then she said it must be fun to just be able to "Try?" And then it just spewed forth from my mouth! I couldn't catch it! No it's not!!! I stated! Try, 2 years of having to "Try." I saw the words floating out in front of me. With no way to stop them! I haven't EVER told ANYBODY that in a public setting! Except here where I'm safe to express my feelings. I only have a aunt who knows and 2 close friends who somewhat know what we are dealing with but they don't quite know the extent and here I just announced to the whole room the TTC sucks!! I just brought my reality into my Never Never Land. I led it by the hand into the room kicking and screaming as I dragged her. But here is the surprising thing: After I had said it we talked about it and the conversation naturally moved along to other things. But something changed in me!! It didn't feel like I had that scarlet letter "I" embroidered on my heart anymore. Even though no one in the room even noticed I had made such a monumental step last night. I felt better about it. Okay, now women I don't know that well, know something about me, my own family doesn't even know! But it felt GREAT! Why? I have no idea. But like I said it was a huge step in accepting this whole pile of crap I've been dealt and as of late I have tried hard to avoid. Mostly because there are so many more major things going on in our lives. One being Mama Farmer's illness. But today is the start of her final chemo. She will get hooked up in about 2 hours and will carry her last pack of chemo around for the next 48 hours. On Friday they will remove it and that will be it for treatments!! God Willing in 4 to 6 weeks when she goes in for her next PET scan she will be Cancer FREE!!! And then maybe 2 months after that we can slowly get some semblance of order back into our lives. She will get her sense of taste back, she will begin to slowly gain some weight and won't look like a little girl playing dress up in her mother's clothes. Maybe my husband and I can get a little bit of our old routine back... And then maybe, just maybe I could begin to think about treatments for myself again... I just feel so hopeful today!! All because of one outburst!!! Who would have thought saying something I have been afraid of admitting to would make me feel better?

Melon Season

I know I promised you all pictures of the actual planting of watermelons... And I have to say that at this point I'm going to be disappointing you. They planted the seedlings this past week while I was at work! Jeez! Those boys had no consideration of my Blog!! Hello?!! It was ICLW and I didn't get to post the pics of Farmer Kid and all the helpers riding on The Setter, setting melons. So this past week I have been trying to get home in time to get changed and find a field full of teenagers setting melons and it hasn't worked yet... But maybe it would be better if I woke up a little earlier? Like before dawn? But that doesn't happen to often for me. But I promise I will TRY!!!

These pictures are actually of the plants themselves. And the plastic they are set in. The plastic was laid several weeks ago. It's set really early to get the ground nice and ready for the melon plants. So here is half of what I promised.


The perky little melon seedling popping out of the plastic


It's almost art!! Okay Not really But it's kinda purty to me!! :)




In a matter of weeks this little guy will almost have tripled in size!! And will have pretty little vines growing in all different directions


But right now you can hardly see the green little heads sticking out of the plastic


This is my Golden Chariot!! I can usually been seen flying up & down the country roads between Mama Farmer's house and our humble abode. With a bandanna in my hair, a metal bucket of eggs, a giant bottle of water strapped to the cargo rack, and my handy dandy camera bag dangling from the handle bars... It's not a pretty site.

The next few pics are of our garden. Which always gets planted in the plastic. It helps keeps the weeds down.


My Beautiful Pepper Plants!! Oh How I Love Thee!!


And one more picture of the pepper plant for good measure.


This just happened to slip right out of my camera on to here. I can't delete it!!
Yes it's a whole row of Pepper Plants!!!


Onions!!! Mmmmmm Sweet Onions! I'm already planning dinners in my head for these bad boys

Oh there is nothing in this world better then an Indiana grown Tomato! I'm telling you, that you haven't tasted a tomato if you haven't bitten in to a red, ripe, juicy tomato off the vine in the middle of The Hoosier State.

And that is my garden. I forgot to take pictures of the Cucumbers. My Hubby lives off cucs in the summer time! That boy will actually pick them, rub them on his shirt to get most of the dirt off and bite right into it! I love fresh vegetables but NOT that fresh!!!

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend. And please don't forget the sacrifices that were made for us to celebrate this long weekend! And if you can Thank a Veteran. They can never hear Thank You enough.

Love & Hugs

Thank You Miss Sass!!!

Gorgeous Blogger Award

Accept and thank the person who gave it to you! List 5 things about yourself. List 5 additional things you DON'T like Then pick 5 people to give this lovely award to!

Miss Sass over at The Secret Life Of Sass and Lex sent this to me. And I want to apologize cause I'm so slow at putting awards up. (the reason is: cause I'm so stinking TERRIBLE at making clicky links!!!) So please everyone go and visit my loverly friend Sass and all the other award winners while your at!!!! Thank a million Sassy girl and please don't hate me for taking so long to post it!!!

5 Things About Me:
1) I always have my toes painted a very bright loud RED think: 1940's secretary red :)

2) I'm a big book reader. I love to read. And since we have this book club I find myself reading more and more. Anything I can get my hands on.

3) I'm a water baby. I love to swim!! And I'm begging Mr. Farmer to either get me a pool or a hot tub. Preferably a hot tub cause then I could soak in the winter. But both would be heavenly!!!

4) I love to mow grass!! I never got to do it growing up because my dad always said it was "his job" so my sister, mom and I never learned how to mow. But I secretly think he loves to mow as much as I do. Now that I have my own yard I don't even like to wait a week to mow again. I love the way it looks when it's freshly mowed. I love the smell of the grass and I love to run the tractor. And I really love the time that I get to spend thinking. It's a great not so quiet, quite time. :)

5) I love Dark chocolate!! I have a torrid love affair going on with chocolate. Shh don't tell Mr. Farmer!!

5 Things I hate:
1) I HATE INFERTILITY!!!

2) I HATE CANCER!!!

3) I hate to fold clothes!! But I love to do laundry... Go figure that one out!!

4) I hate know it all pricks! (Some nameless men I work with:)

4) I hate Insensitive pricks (see above sorry there just aren't a whole lot of things that I hate)

And now, the awards:

1st award goes to my favorite Chickie in Texas Marla

2nd award goes to the greatest acrobat in this circus: The Circus Princess

3rd award goes to: Hannah cause she is she a sweetie and has about the biggest heart in VA

4th award goes to a fellow farming widow Kacy

5th award goes to all of you stopping in from ICLW please take this award as a Thank You for stopping in and visiting me and my little corner of the world wide web.

Love & Hugs

99 Things about Me

I have to say I stole this post from Marla Please drop by and see one of my favorite bloggy friends. She always posts fun stuff! So I thought I would play along. I love finding out all kinds of fun stuff about people.

If your here from ICLW welcome! I can't wait to meet you all. I'm really going to try and at least peek at each blog on this month's list... Hopefully!! But if the weather is super nice out Hubby might need me in the fields so I won't be able to. As my blog name states I'm a Farmer's wife. We live on my Hubby's Family Farm. It's been in the family FOREEEEEVVVVVVER


And we have been TTC for 2 years now. I have PCOS which is sooooo not fun. We are kind of on a break since Mama Farmer (aka Hubby's Mama) was diagnosed with Cancer. We are hoping to start fertility treatments again in July. God willing! But anyway that's our life in a nutshell thanks for stopping by and I hope you stick around and get to know me a little. I promise to check you out if you leave me a comment. Thanks again! And have a very happy ICLW!!!


99 Things About Me

1. Started your own blog – Yes Indeed!!!
2. Slept under the stars - Oh yes and it is heavenly!!!
3. Played in a band - I played the guitar for our church choir a few times but I mostly just sang. So I don't know it that counts. I would love to have been in a REAL Band
4. Visited Hawaii- Yes and it truly is paradise!! My baby brother lives there and I'm trying to work in another visit soon.... Hopefully
5. Watched a meteor shower - Yes I Remember sitting on a dock in the middle of a huge lake at about 2:00 in the morning with one of my best friends and we sat there all night talking and drinking beer and watching and wishing and every star... It was awesome!! I miss you H. Thomas!!!!
6. Given more than you can afford to charity- Well I don't feel like I ever give what I want to give. But I try.
7. Been to DisneyWorld - Yes
8. Climbed a mountain- Yes the last one was Diamond Head in Hawaii
9. Held a praying mantis - Nope
10. Sang a solo - Yes I love to sing
11. Bungee jumped - No but my Hubby has and loves it!
12. Visited Paris - Yep I actually spent my 15th birthday there. Lord was it amazing!!!
13. Watched a lightning storm - Yes I

Leo

Yes my horoscope tells me I'm a Leo. I'm not really into all that nonsense but on occasion I will read it if some one has a copy of the paper laying on their desk. Today one of the guys I work with had an article he wanted me to read in our local paper. So I read it and my eyes glanced over to the Horoscope column and quickly found this:

LEO (July 23- Aug 22) - Some major impediments in an arrangement you're trying to get to work will finally break away and let you grow crops in what was a field of weeds.

Ummmm Well that was interesting! I do tend to think of my body as a barren field... So what would the major impediment be? Maybe the fact that I did not ovulate with my miracle herbs! Or maybe I will get another period on them in the next week or so and then in the new cycle I will ovulate!!!!... That is a lot to think about. I just thought I would share this with you all. Since I thought it was so funny that it was farming related and kinda sorta made me think. I'm thinking I need you all to give me your insights on what this horoscope means. I don't know how to decipher them. And I always like to add: "In Bed" even though you are only supposed to do that on fortune cookies!! :)

Oh Holy cow!!! For shits and Giggles I just read Mr. Farmers!! Hold on to your hats!!!

Pisces (Feb 20- March 20) - If you have something interesting you've been working on, and you are ready to launch, throw the switch now. You could be extremely lucky today regarding new endeavors.

WOW! Now if that's not creepy I don't know what is! I think just to be on the safe side I might have to jump Mr. Farmer tonight... Hey my Horoscope said so right?

Fertility update: I pulled out the dreaded, evil and despicable CBEFM. Back when I began spotting about 31 days ago and i peed on sticks faithfully every morning for 20 days. Now it's telling me it's low again I never got a peak fert symbol. But I feel really good taking this stuff I don't know what it's doing. I had some pretty weird cramping right around the time I "should" have been ovulating. So maybe my body is trying to do this. I think I will go one more round on the "Au natural stuff" and then maybe in about 2 months time we will be in a better position to go back to the RE and try again. Mama Farmer actually feels somewhat better but she is carrying a whole lot of equipment around with her. They just added a vacuum to the wound on her stomach to assist in the healing. Her body just is not wanting to heal and I know the chemo probably is mostly to blame for that. But hopefully by the end of June she will have finished all the Chemo treatments. She had to do 13 total and we will be coming up on the 11th this next week. So by July Mr. Farmer will have harvested the wheat got the late beans planted and we will slow down a little. And I will be on may way to Dr. B.... Maybe

This Saturday night depending on the weather... Mr. Farmer and I will be heading out to his High School Mixer. Which is usually tons of fun. But because of the timing we don't always get to go because of planting season and the fact that crops need to get put into the ground before we can party. So the last 2 years we haven't made it to the mixer. So this year could be the first year we have gone since we have been officially TTC. And I know the phrases that I love to hear will be thrown out there and then they will be followed by awkward silences. I'm just hoping I can get tanked up really good this year and I won't remember any of the rude questions about our still being childless or I get really tanked up and throw some not so nice comments back!

Mr. Farmer is 6 years older then me. And so many of the couples that we know have children that are already in Kindergarten and a few are even older then that. Some of these couples have been together as long as Mr. Farmer and I have been together. We were just a little slower at getting married. Hubby and I dated for 5 years before we got married so altogether we have been a couple for nearly nine years!!! So every time we get together with his crowd we have to hear all kinds of "helpful advice" not so nice comments and some actually down right rude comments.

But this time around I'm going to implement a plan to counter attack the nosy fertile ones... See below!!!

Here are my top 5 excuses that I'm going to use when someone comes up to ask why we haven't had any kids yet... Or some other idiotic question regarding my reproductive status! This time I'm going to be prepared!

1.) Well see I don't want to loose my School girl Figure... (::Insert hysterically drunk laughing here:: and then point at the woman who said the above comment or point to said commenter's wife and say:: "like you/she did"::and then laugh again::)

2.) Well see I like to be able to drink alcohol till my face turns numb!!! And you can't really do that if your knocked up or have a kid hanging on you...

3.) Well we don't have to worry about getting home to relieve a babysitter. Heck we could drive to Florida tonight and we wouldn't have to tell a soul!

4.) Mr. Farmer and I can sleep in as late as we want after an all night drinking binge. And we don't have to worry about having to get up to take care of a little kiddo.

5.) My 1968 Brittany Blue Mustang would not look very cool with a baby seat in the back

I'm sure I don't have to explain that I would gladly give up all these things for the rest of eternity if I knew I could have child in my arms... But by actually acknowledging that we have a problem to some of these idiots would just make it ten time worse. So for me and Mr. Farmer it's easier to think of funny or not so nice come backs to say to nosy people who don't really need to know our reproductive status... Please think of some more good come backs and share them in the comments!! I'm sure we are going to need them!

Love & Hugs

National Day of Prayer

Since today is the National Day of Prayer and I thought I would write about prayer.

I have been trying to pray for all of my bloggy friends everyday. I thought I would ask the same of you. I know some people don't believe in prayer and I have only lately began to pray again. I'm not asking you to pray to God if you don't believe. But please just send some good thoughts out to each other. Or a great big virtual hug to each other.

I don't know what has come over me lately but I have been trying harder and harder to pray for God's will instead of my own... It has been so difficult asking for that. Instead of praying that "I become pregnant as soon as possible." or "please make me a mother." I'm actually trying to focus on what is, meant To Be. Not what I want, To Be. It has been such a struggle. Some days it has been easier then others. And some days not so easy. But I thought if maybe we could all pray, send happy thoughts, or just some good karma to each other it might bring some peace into our hearts. So please think of all our bloggy sisters today!!

Sending you all the prayers and good thoughts I can muster!!!

Love & Hugs

What If...

What if I can't give my husband an heir... I know this isn't Mid-evil times. This is not the year 1510!! Why? Do you ask, am I'm acting like it is? Let me explain my madness...

My husband is a farmer. And as such, farm families pass the ground & business on to the next generation. My husband is the last in his family, his father had 2 brothers none of whom had sons so the farm passes to my husband. Mr. Farmer is the last of 5+ generations farming and living on this ground. And he has no one to pass this on to. His ground has been in his family for hundreds of years. I know it has come up between his mother and father about what is going to happen to "The Farm" when they die. What will happen to the ground they poured their very blood, sweat and tears into?

What if I can't give a child to my husband?

This thought keeps me up at night. I'm the first wife in this long line of Farmer women who could not produce an heir... If this was the year 1510 I could be beheaded for not producing an heir!! I realize my husband is not that shallow as to leave me for some one who could produce a child. But I want more then anything to give him the sons/daughters he deserves.

What if... We turn 70 and we have no children? We will end up having to sell his family's heritage, and history instead of having someone to pass that legacy on to...

What if... We never have a biological child but we get the opportunity to adopt and can create a new legacy!! And his name will still have chance to live on? I hope that no matter what we will have a child, whether it is born through my body or through my heart. I will give him a child!!

Please go over to Mels blog and read other IFs.

www.resolve.org/infertility101

www.resolve.org/takecharge

Answers for Marla and Circus Princess

Marla,
No we do not name all the hens or the rooster's there are just way too many. And quite a few of them look a lot a like. Although there is one little hen that has been named. She is a funny little gal that was hatched with a deformed leg. And hops around like she has a kick stand. She is a cute little gal. Mr Farmer named her Petie. Why he named her a boy's name I don't know but that's her name. She hides from the roosters and the other hens. Because chickens can be mean to one another. That is where "The Pecking Order" originated from. They can be down right terrible to one another. So Petie hides and we give her a special pile of food that the others can't get at. And the roosters are pretty much to blame when it comes to who gets pecked on.

Circus Princess,
Our roosters don't seem to need the Viagra. Those roosters are quite virile. So I don't think we will be calling the local vet for a big "boost of confidence" for my roosters.
But I think what really helps them perform is: Mama Farmer will fry all the slackers...
I think that little tactic keeps the roosters on their toes and in their peak performance

Now about the eggs: there is a VERY slim chance of getting a fully formed chick. It is usually only a problem if you don't keep track of your chickens or where they lay their eggs. And if you are not out gathering your eggs EVERYDAY!!! Some hens will hide their eggs if they are free range (meaning out in the "wilderness" 24 hours a day.) They will set on them for several days and then finally we humans stumble upon them and throw them in the basket... And instead of a fried egg you could end up with a fried chicken... It can be pretty gross!! But if you keep your chickens in a run so they can go out in the sun throughout the day. And then have a place for them to roost each night they will lay their eggs in the coop and not hide them. That way you won't have to worry about having half-formed chicks... Which by they way is about the worst start to your day!!!

Double Yolks: I know that some of our hens are pretty consistent at laying double yolked eggs or as my 5 year old nephew says: A Double yodder... They say that some of the bigger hens can lay double yodders every time. Not sure why some of them can and some can't It might be the DNA... Who Knows!! Also some of the little bitty hens called Banty's (Bantam is the proper name) they have little bitty eggs almost half the size of a regular chicken egg. When they first start laying they some eggs won't even have a yolk in them. So that would be an no yodder!!...

Thank You Mrs. Ashley!!

This post is kind of a Thank you note and a PSA all wrapped up in one!

The other day I was writing about maybe looking into a fertility treatment that was a little less invasive then the injectables, with constant monitoring. Where my hubby and I, are at right now in our lives with his mama being sick and having to take care of 2 farms and 2 households full time. It's just to hectic to even begin to think about adding a new cycle into the mix right now. Especially since we are full swing in Planting season. So I thought about seeing another doctor and see what he had to say. But I have to say I chickened out!! I'm just not ready to go into all that again. I think I'm just remembering the hour drive to the dr every morning being hopeful and then the hour back to work crying. Then my whole day being jacked up cause I was chock full of hormones and a ball of nerves waiting to hear back about the results. I guess I'm just too freaking sensitive!!! So I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. But I didn't want to keep wasting time!!

But then Mrs. Ashley over at Infertile Myrtle http://ifashley.blogspot.com/ stopped in and told me about FertilAid and how it helped her ovulate!!! I secretly don't think I have ever ovulated! So I was intrigued! I went to the website: http://www.fairhavenhealth.com/ and there are literally tons of reviews from woman who have PCOS or who were regular but not ovulating. And who after having used it and it they began to ovulate and even become regular! I'm not so much buying it to get pregnant all though that would be awesome!! I would just love to be able to start cycling like a "NORMAL" woman! I have NEVER EVER been regular. I would really like to be able to work with my body to get it on some kind of routine. Right after I read the reviews I thought what the hell! it's not expensive and if I could get my body to give me a period just once with out prometruim it would pay for it self in my opinion! So I ordered a bottle of the supplement and bag of the FertiliTea and a Fertility Candle... Yes Total Cheese I know!! But I'm a sucker for candles and I was on a mission!! Oh and they had free shipping!! So I stocked up!! I was on the site for a long time just reading everything I could.They make formulas for guys and gals! Although we won't be needing the guy formula. It actually just sounds like a SUPER DUPER Vitamin! Here are the facts:

FertiliTea Organic and Wildcrafted Herbal Ingredients:
• Chasteberry (vitex) - stimulates the hormones involved with ovulation and helps restore female hormonal balance. It is used as an herbal treatment for infertility and is especially helpful for women with irregular cycles, failure to ovulate, or a short luteal phase.
• Red raspberry leaf - highly regarded for its ability to tone the uterus and muscles of the pelvic region. A highly nutritive ingredient, red raspberry is a powerful fertility-promoting herb, especially when used in combination with peppermint.
• Green tea - a powerful antioxidant that enhances reproductive health by repairing the oxidative damage that occurs naturally as the result of environmental toxins and aging. Much has been written about the positive correlation between green tea and fertility.
• Ladies mantle - a “tonic” herb that is useful in regulating a woman’s monthly cycle. It also exerts a toning effect on the cervix.
• Nettle leaf – contains a wide spectrum of vitamins and minerals that are critical to good reproductive health, including Vitamins A, C, D, K, potassium, phosphorous, iron, and sulfur; also contains calcium, key for conception and maintaining pregnancy.
• Peppermint leaf – gives FertiliTea a delicious flavor and has the added benefit of serving as a sexual stimulant.

Well for everything I ordered it wasn't expensive at all. And free shipping to boot! So if your wanting to try something different check it out! My order said it had shipped out to day too! So that was nice to know that they work quickly! So now I'm beginning to feel like I'm actually being proactive instead of just waiting... Oh and stop by Infertile Myrtle and give her some Love!!!

Thank You Ashley for being so sweet and sharing that info with me I really appreciate it!! And also to the gals who shared links to other bloggers! I have been checking them all out! Thanks again!!!

Oh and I apologize for my lack of skills on making the links Blog "correct" I couldn't for the life of me get the damn thing to work so I gave up!! I'm soo sorry maybe I will one day figure out the art of making a correct clickable link!!

Love & Hugs

Drumroll Please....

Yippee Skippy!!! It's DONE!!! Oh my goodness!! Please take a look around! Is this not sooooooooooooooo much better than before? You all really have to have Mary at Bright Sunshine Designs trick your blog out! I am so impressed with what she has done! She's gone above and beyond my wildest dreams! I never would have pictured all this. I'm so happy!! She has gotten my personality trapped in the cyber world!! It was such an easy and fun experience. I told her about me. My likes, dislikes, what kind of feel I was going for and what I do in my day to day life… And of course what I blog about. And Mary built my page around me and my life! How cool is that? It was so amazing to have someone make something this amazing without ever meeting me face to face! She is gifted! She worked tediously on some random ideas that I had and she Focused on the smallest of details... Mary is an artist and I hope you all would just stop in and chat with her to see what kind of ideas she can come up with for you and your space. You won't regret at all!!

Getting to know me

You know I didn’t realize until today that I have never really told you all too much about myself. As far as where I came from and what I did before I began blogging. So here is some background info.

I’m 27 years old. I work as a wholesale salesperson/Administrative Assistant in a very large wholesale tire company. I have been here for 7 years. I work in a predominantly male work environment. Which is awesome the majority of the time! I use to work at a hospital on in Alzheimer’s Unit as a CPCT. I love that job! I worked there for over 3 years. I lived with my Grandmother while I worked there. It was a fun time in my life. But I broke my foot and had to quit. So I got this job and moved back to my hometown.

I have been with my hubby for over 8 years we were set up on a blind date and the rest is history I guess. We just clicked! It was awesome. We had both come out of some rocky relationships. A friend of mine knew his mother and talked to her about me. So she set a time up so she and I could meet one day. So I actually met his Mama Farmer before I actually met him. It was so funny and cute.

We live on a farm, were we grow mostly grains, such as soybeans, corn and wheat. Occasionally sunflowers too which is just about the most amazing site on creation!!! I hope heaven is just like a 1,000-acre field of sunflowers. I will send you pictures if he puts some out this year. I have been in love with farming since I was a little girl. That was all I wanted in life was to grow up and marry my grandpa or my uncles. Which ended up being quite a dreadful blow when I found out I couldn’t actually do that!!! So I just settled with the next best thing: spending every moment I could at my grandfather’s house helping him and taking care of him after my grandmother passed away.

I was home-schooled (please don’t hold that against me) through most of my school years. From Middle School on. I hated it to begin with and then I got used to it. By the time I was in High School I liked it enough I guess. Because I could take my schoolwork over to my grandfathers and hang out with him. As the years went on I really wanted to pursue the nursing field because my grandfather had gotten cancer and being with him so much I ended up becoming his nurse and I loved it. After he died. I then worked on becoming a C.N.A at a local nursing home and from there I found a great job at St. Mary’s a very large hospital in Evansville and worked there for close to 3 years. While I was living there a friend introduced me to Mr. Farmer as I said above. But then I broke my foot and so I moved home and took a job where I didn’t have to work weekends or holidays and I was closer to Mr. Farmer. So that was a nice little perk. Mr. Farmer and I got married in 2006 and we live on his families farm. He is a 6th generation farmer. The farm has passed from son to son for 6 generations and I know he hopes to be able to do the same one day.

I have one older sister who is 33 and is the mother of 4 children, 3 boys and a little girl. She married a man she went to college with. And they live in Rhode Island. He is getting ready to start a doctorate program at Princeton University. So they will be moving at some point this summer. My brother is 24 he is an Aviation Ordnance men in the Navy. His home base is on the Island of Oahu, in Hawaii. He has just Re-upped for 3 more years. And is looking forward to going to Afghanistan for a year training the Afghan police force.

My Hubby is 34 years old he works full time as a Farmer he also hauls grain for local companies. Which tends to keeps him pretty busy through the winter and early spring. He has 1 older sister who is married and has 3 children and she lives quite close so we get to have the kids a lot. My husband and I are each other’s best friends pretty much. We do just about everything together. We can talk about everything together. I love that about our relationship.

We have slowly been building our businesses. Trucking and farming. We recently just built a new barn at our home. Our other outbuildings are all near his parents or down the lane from our home and we wanted one close to our home. So we finished that last Christmas. And now he has his eye on a new tractor!!! Of course his excuse always is that we will need a BIG tax write off!! So now he needs one for 2010 since we already used the barn for 2008 and 2009. God Love him. I swear I never learned so much about money/taxes and business as I did the 1st few months of being married.

My parents are still married to each other. They live about 10 minutes away from us on my father's family farm that has been in his family since the revolutionary war. My dad works for a Railroading company. He never liked farming so My hubby farms his ground for him. My mother just got her 1st job last year. She works part time at a local hard ware store. (Which in my humble opinion is: absolutely hysterical!!!) The woman never worked a day in her life outside of staying home with us. And it’s the funniest thing hearing about her working. She got a job because she was lonely. My dad works out of town a lot and they live way out in the sticks. So with my brother being gone now I guess she wanted some human interaction. Which like I said when you hear her stories it’s like she has never had contact with the outside world before… My mother is probably my biggest annoyance in this life!! I LOVE my dad but my mother is just an entirely different story. Needless to say I don’t talk about TTC with her cause every body in my home town and the neighboring counties would know if I told her.


Now I challenge you all to do the same!! Instead, of us writing the posts floating around with the random questions. I just want you to tell me about where you came from! How you got to where you are today I want to get to know you all, minus the infertility, charting, family problems, and all the fantastic doctor’s Appointments…

Can it suck ANYMORE?

I would like to talk to you all today about Identity Theft. I have been up to my elbows in a mess!! Our New Years started out with a bang!! We found out that our Joint Checking Account got hacked into... I feel so naked and exposed! I can't believe it happened!! As of a few hours ago they had gotten almost $500.00!! I can't understand why people feel the need to take what doesn't belong to them!!!

All I can say is I'm glad it was our play account. My husband and I just used this account for my spending or for online purchases. It was pretty much my account I would transfer money over from our other account to buy groceries gas or presents. We didn't pay bills out of this account. But it's still the fact that I have had to deal with the headache of opening another account, alerting the bank, the bank having to flag my account and stopping all transactions. Then after all that not having a freaking debit card to use!!!! I have never in my life had to walk up to a bank counter and write a check for cash! I never had to do that before! I always used my debit card in the ATM if I needed cash! Now I feel like I have fallen back into the 1950's!!! I have to go to the grocery store tonight with just cash!! I will actually have to track my purchases to make sure I don't go over the amount in my purse. I feel so weird!! Sorry I'm just so flabbergasted today!!! I always thought I was careful in my use of credit cards and the like. But I guess anyone can fall victim to Identity theft!

I'm sorry this had to be my first post back after several weeks being MIA please forgive me!! My brother came home for the holidays. I took off while he was home so we could spend some time together. It was great to have him around for a little while. He is actually stationed in Hawaii in the Navy. He was hoping we would get a huge snow storm while he was home since he hasn't seen snow for a few years now. But the one time we got a slight dusting of snow he actually slept in and it melted before he woke up... Poor kid!!! I have some pictures I need to up load from all the family time we got in while he was home. I'm actually familied out!! If that is a word? If not I declare this a new word!!! I love my family but goodness gracious I need my space. I don't count Hubby in all that. I always need him. And he doesn't get under my skin like my dear old bi polar mama.... Wow have I missed blogging!! Well gals I promise to get back on the wagon and post pictures and wonderfully quirky farm antics soon!!!

Love to you all
Mrs. Farmer

XOXOXOXOX

Valued Blogger

My greatest Bloggy friend Marla just nominated me for this wonderful honor and I so I'm going to do the same...

Thank You VERY VERY Much Marla!!!!

Here are the rules:

1.Tell your readers how your journey into blogging began. Be as verbose or shy as you like.

2.Pick 3-5 fellow bloggers whom you adore and write what exactly it is you value about that person or their blog. The more you write about them the better. This is a chance to really appreciate your blog friends who have been there with and for you through thick and thin.

3.Let the blessed winners know they have been awarded.

That's it. Those are the rules. Now, before you think you can give the old line, "I don't want to pick anyone to pass this award onto because I don't want my readers to feel hurt if I don't pick them, so consider yourselves all tagged" I want you to realize that excuse tells all of your blog friends that you are wimping out, amongst other things. ;) Don't feel bad that you can't award everyone, the award will make its rounds and eventually everyone will get it. If you feel bad enough, you can always award more than 5 bloggers.


I started my blog after reading the blog of a local woman in my home town. She wrote about her kiddos and just everyday life with 5 babies!!! She was an inspiration. Then from her blog I linked to another local women who had triplets and was a farmers wife and her story just spoke to my soul!! I never thought about how amazing the everyday occurances where in life until I had someone put them up on a screen with pictures... It really got me thinking how much fun it would be to document everything from the everyday mundane to the huge screw ups I usually get myself into. I loved how she wrote and I loved how this Farmers wife put pictures with her story. I wanted that too. But I was scared to death to be as open with my whole story and my life as she was. I wondered how she got so many readers. I was amazed by this whole world of blogs that I had never realized exitsited outside of my soy bean fields. So I slowly started to post somethings. I went on hiatus a couple times when I just couldn't think of what people wanted to read. So I wouldn't write anything. But I kept reading my blog roll and thats how I found
The Pioneer Woman and my whole world imploded on me. She was me exactly, except that she is skinny and red headed and is able to produce children and they don't have crops they have cattle but her life mirrored mine somewhat. I read every chapter of her Black Heels to Tractor Wheels and I was hooked she kept me begging for more and it was then that I realized I shouldn't be looking for what people want to read... I should blog about what I enjoy writing and taking pictures of. Just worry about being me and not anyone else.


Now onto the blogs...

I am picking 3 because making clicky links is not my forte! But I read soo many blogs and I love so many!! But these are 3 that have touched my soul recently. They have been though a lot lately and I really would like you all to show them some extra loving!!!

1.) The Circus Princess This women has such a beautiful soul! I hate that she is going through such a horrible loss. But she is surfacing and slowly coming to a better place. She is dealing with IF in Europe and her husband is also serving our great country and I take my hat off to her she is a trooper!!! Circus Princess you are my hero!!! I'm praying for you and and your hubby.

2.) Sass Oh where do I begin with Sass? She is a girl I would love to have as my next door neighbor!! She seems like such an awesome indivdual who I could just sit and chat with! Oh and drink Chocolate milk with too. Her posts are so heart warming. But recently her grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and Sass is under quite a bit of stres with that and her mama not being very nice towards her right now. Sassy I'm thinking of you dear and sending you lots of Chocolate milk hugs!!! And wishing you could come and do farming things with me... :)

3.) Kacy at Infertility Instability is a fellow farmers wife she knows the ups and downs of living on a farm with a man whose whole world is tied to the land. I love having some one else who is in the same boat as I am. She recently has suffered a loss and also just celebrated her birthday and is just not in a good place right now. I hope and pray that she can sail through the darkness she is in and come through all this stronger. I know she will I just hate seeing so many strong women brought to their knees with IF!!

So please visit my friends and give them a cyber hug (comment)

And thank you muchly Marla for nominating me for this award even though it took me soo stinking long to post it!!!!

Love and Hugs too you all!!!

Countdown!!!!

Oh lordy I haven't been very good this past week!! Please forgive me. I have been reading in my spare time!!! And my reading hasn't always had to do with my faulty lady part either! As you may have heard I'm in a book club now and we have officially started reading our 1st book this past week. So far its been pretty good. No complaints. We chose: The Next Thing on My List By Jill Smolinski. I highly suggest it thus far. I have gotten about half way though it. I'm picking next months book and I'm a little apprehensive because I don't want to upset anyone or to pick the wrong thing. So if anyone has a good suggestion for our October book please send then my way. I have a small list put together. I will post it below and if you have read them please comment on them.

The Year of Fog
The Seamstress
My Sister's Keeper
The Murder of a Medici Princess
Nineteen Minutes
The Memory Keepers Daughter
The Secret Life of Bees
Her Fearful Symmetry


I was kind of thinking of maybe a good romance, mystery, intrigue, suspense, but not too scary. I will have to do the theme for our meeting and since its October I thought it would be fun for it to be a little (very little) scary. On account of Halloween being such a fun holiday and I have found some great finger foods for our October mtg too. So please HELP!!!!!!!

Oh and on the Fert front. Still no AF and I'm okay with it. I'm not anxious about it like I was. I'm 9 days and counting away from the big RE appt. And I know that everything will change once I have gotten through that appt. So now I just have to coast though the next 9 days and not think too much about my wonky ovaries and spiteful uterus. So everyone give me your opinions on my book lists and stick with me as I count down to the first MALE gyno appt!!!! Yippee!!!

Love & Hugs to all my fellow bloggies