Thank You

I just wanted to say I love that I have found such a good support system via the Internet. I really don't know what I would do without the friends that I have connected with through this whole process. I really think when you are dealing with Infertility you really don't want people's pity so you avoid the conversations with loved ones and friends so you won't put them in awkward situations but you do need to talk and to vent sometimes. And I'm guess I'm just wanting to write a thank you note to all the blogs and message boards that I visit and tell them I appreciate it.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!
An Infertile Farmers Wife

Nothing that a big slice of Banana Bread can't fix

Yes I'm a firm beliver in Soul Food. Only my soul food may be a tad differant than most!! Yes I'm sitting here typing with greasy buttery fingers and munching on Banana bread. I had lunch with a close friend of mine today. A friend I don't talk too much about the whole infertilty thing. I usually avoid conversations about infertility with just about everyone I know. Because i have this huge phobia of crying in public places. I just don't make a cute crier... Never Have. I'm one of those blubbering idiots that turns purple and has snot pouring out the nose. Its quite dreadful. Anyway where was I going with this? I can't remember...

Well as of this past acupuncture session she said my progress is slowing down. She isn't sure why. She said it surprised her at first at how well I responded in the beggining. And now I guess I've come to a screeching halt with no explanation as to why. I'm in a pretty good mood other then the fact that I thought I was getting better and now I don't think I am. I even thought that I ovulated. My chart showed it!!! But I have yet to see my horrible aunt. She must be on vacation!!! So my cycle is streching out before me with no end in sight!!! I've tested twice and they were both negative so I guess I'm at my rock in a hard place for now. But I'm so surprised at how I'm handling it. This last acu session really did something. I feel pretty postive. Just like this is just a phase not the end of the world. Where as 6 months ago I probably would be spastic right now. But I'm okay!! Not fantastic but I'm dealing with it. I have my banana bread and my nestie girls and blog girls and I know its going to get better I just have to be patient. And keep up with the soul food. :)

I'm blue like my favorite donkey

I'm feeling a little like Eeyore today. I'm 17dpo and No Aunt Flow in sight!! I have my acupuncture appt tonight. I tried my darnedest to not test till after I talked to her to see if I should. I didn't want to get my hopes up cause I knew it would be negative. But I did it!!! I peed on that damn stick this morning and it was negative!! I knew it would be before I even pulled the damn test out of the box!! But I pulled it out anyway and wasted it!!! I wasted a perfectly good "expensive" test on satisfying my curiosity!!! I'm not even going to buy more. That was the last test I had in my house and I'm not bringing anymore home until my acupuncturist tells me to get one and test. And even then she would know before I would by my pulse. I don't know why I did that to myself. I was awake at like 4:30 thinking about how awesome it would be to get a positive today because Farmer was out in the semi hauling grain. And I pictured my self jumping into my truck in my night gown, matching slippers and fuzzy robe. Tracking him down stopping him outside of the grain bin and showing him my positive test and jumping up and down on the side of the road. Then announcing it on the radio to his papa and friends hauling grain with him. That he was going to be a daddy. But that didn't happen. I got dressed and drove to work and have been a crab ass all day long. I should apologize to the guys here but oh well I'm not going to right now.

Hopefully she will have some good news for me tonight!!!! I'm headed out right now for my appointment.