Auction

This weekend Mr. Farmer and I went to a farm auction of a local farmer. The word Auction usually sends chills up my spine and reminds me of the old John Mellencamp song Rain on the Scarecrow.
(If you have never heard it or seen the video check it out below. You will get a sense of what a farm auction is like from it.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joNzRzZhR2Y

Farm Auctions are so heartbreaking... This particular Auction was on a beautiful farm just north of us by about 20 miles. It was a man who had farmed his whole life. He having reached 85 years old had no one to pass his family legacy on to. No one to take on the plow and work the ground like he and his fathers before him had. I watched this poor man with tears in his eyes as the local farmers were going through his equipment, tools, tractors, and trucks. Each one complimenting under their breath at how well the old man had taken care of this or that piece of equipment. It's shocking how something so common place as the family farm is disappearing before our very eyes! I'm sure I have no idea the depth of pain and sorrow he had watching all his hard work for well over 70 years of his life float away on the wind. He had a pristine farm and home. You could tell by the way his barns were kept that he loved his farm and his life here. The barn was well worn from the elements but clean and tidy. His equipment was old but well maintained. I couldn't help but wonder if 50 years down the road if Mr. Farmer and I would be in the same position... Having to sell off everything we have worked so hard for, because there was no one to pass it along to.

5

This number has been burned in my head for weeks now. It's a number I'm beginning to hate actually. Who could hate an innocent little number like 5? I remember when I was 5. I was soooo ready to go to school. I wanted to be a BIG KID so bad! My lovely sister Retta was a "Big Kid". She was a whole 5 years older then me. She had everything I wanted. She was a blond. I was brunette. Her hair was long and straight. Mine was crazy and frizzy. Retta could always manage to get through conversations with out saying something backwards. I on the other hand always made a fool of myself. Thank you dyslexia. She never had the wild temper I had. Or the crazy impulses to jump into mud puddles. Or run wild though the woods all day. She was always the clean, pulled together, matchy matchy sister... Where I was the sister with the tousled hair and mis matched socks...

Now here we are at 28 and 33 and she is pregnant with her 5th child. My sister has never had one health issue... (Scratch that she is fucking nuts!!! :) She is married to a lifetime student. My brother in law will be 34 does not work. He is a FULL TIME student!! My sister does not work either. She actually home schools my nephews. They just moved into student housing at his newest school about 2 months ago. And she thinks it's time to share the news that they adding one more to there litter.... She is 22 weeks along. She just told my parents last week. Half way though her pregnancy she decides to drop the news to them. She told me 3 weeks before that.

Can you tell how excited I am?

The past 2 maybe 3 years they have lived with his family while he finished one of his many degrees. He graduated from that school this past May. My family actually thought he might begin to use all of this knowledge he has built up and get a JOB with it. But no!! To our surprise he applied at yet another school. But now at this school, he can on a occasion student teach. Oh and lets not forget, he has been published in a few journals!! ::::::Insert eye rolls and yawns:::::: But nothing high paying... He has no steady income, except grants & scholarships! My sister actually went to college got her degree and used it to teach English in a private academy. So yes she is capable of getting a good job. My Bother In Law is going to school to become a priest in their religion so yes it takes time to do that. BUT why would you keep adding all these mouths to feed if you aren't going to be the one to feed them? I don't know what kind of State assistance they get. I'm not really that close with my sister. When she lived her we used to be. But she has done so many bizarre things over the past few years that I don't even want to be associated with her. Much less be known as her sister. I'm just flabbergasted that someone like my sister who doesn't own a home, has NEVER had to buy a vehicle, (They have always been donated to them by very caring, fellow church members. ) can shoot babies out like a human Pez Dispenser!!! What the Fuck?

There really is NO justice in this life!

When I was little, anytime someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told them I was going to be a mom. I have dreamed of being a mommy my whole life. And here I am thrown right back to that 5 year old backward little girl with the messy hair. Who's older sister could do everything I wanted and but never could.

August

I have been MIA for over a month now. I suddenly got struck with a severe allergic reaction to blogging. Not sure why. But I avoided writing at all costs!! I really can't explain why I get into ruts like this but I do. So before I let a whole month slip away with out blogging I'm going to do a month in review....

The last week of July Mama Farmer was told before she did more chemo she would need to have a round of immunity boosting shoots. So from the 1st of August through the 4th she got shots to help build her immunity. On the 6th she had to have more fluid drained from her abdomen. Poor gal has been having anywhere from 7 to 9 liters drained each week. It's become her Friday afternoon ritual.

On August 10th was our monthly Book Club meeting. Which I was hosting this time around. We ended up having a record amount of attendees. Which was awesome because it was our 1 year anniversary!! It was quite exciting seeing how big we had grown in a years time. The book we discussed was my pick. I was actually a little disappointed. I chose: Eat, Pray, Love By: Elizabeth Gilbert. I chose it mostly because the movie was going to be coming out 3 or 4 days after our meeting. It was a very hard book for me to get through. I was not impressed! I actually liked the movie more then the book. I think that's the first time I have ever been able to say that. But anyway check out the movie it was great. The book club went as a group to a matinee on the following Saturday. It was a blast seeing it together because we all were laughing at the same times and whispering to each other when we thought something would have looked different in the movie. We meet for lunch at a great little downtown cafe. It was a wonderful book club meeting and Saturday lunch date.

August 13th Mama Farmer had to have another 9 liters drained... The doctors are beginning to be more and more concerned with the amount of fluid she is creating. So they have decide to put off doing Chemo till her strength returns and hopefully the liver will cut back on creating so much excess fluid...

The next week was actually pretty uneventful except for my weekly exercise class. Back in July my mama literally begged me to take a Zumba class with her. She is always looking for something for "Us" to do together. So we can bond.... I don't know if you all know this but my mother drives me batty!! But I knew she wouldn't let up unless I just gave in and went with her. So I did and no I have a new obsession!!!! Zumba !!!!! Oh my goodness if you don't know what this is you need to run to your local gym and beg for them to start it!!! I also thought that if I went to this class with my mom I would be able to spend time with her, without "spending" time with her. If you get my drift!! :) I have been working really hard and diet and exercise this past month. I'm going to the gym for Zumba 2 to 3 days a week. I haven't lost any lbs but I know I'm losing serious inches!!! My arms and legs are getting so toned!! I can't believe it!!! And now I don't feel guilty for ever seeing my mother... And we are sooo busy working out she can't say anything snarky!!! I only have to listen to her snarkiness walking into class and walking out! How about them apples?

August 18th and 19th I had my yearly meltdown... The one where I am reminded at how old my ovaries are going to be on the 20th of August. Last year I had a melt down at work when I came back from lunch and my office had a surprise birthday party for me. They had cake, ice cream, balloons, flowers, the works! Yes I know you probably think I'm to young to have birthday melt downs! But I always thought I would have had all my kiddos by now and my hubby and I would just be happy raising toddlers in to happy children... Not trying to deal with the fact that I may never be a parent... So this year I took the dreaded day off so as to avoid any surprises. Side note: Tears and snot don't look very nice on pastel cake icing
I had planned on spending the whole day with my hubby hauling grain and not letting my brain wonder to "the Dark side." But my mother being the wonderful mother that she is. Had other plans!! My mom planned a lunch date for me, mom, dad my aunt (my godmother) Aka Mrs. Fertile Mertyle and 3 of her 11 children. She has never had a multiple these are all singletons!! She is a wonderful mother! She is a stay at home mom. My uncle has a wonderful job. But of all people for my mother to surprise me with this is the woman! I got to spend the one day that is the darkest for me staring back at her with watching my sweet little cousin cuddle in her lap. And knowing if she wanted to she could have one more... Yes these are the woman in my family the ones that say I'm ready for another one... 9 months later they have a beautiful baby bundle in their arms. I am the 2nd oldest grandchild of 42 grandchildren!!! This number does not include any great grand babies! My mom's side of the family is huge and it's so frustrating because every female is fertile but me!!!
So I sit at my surprise birthday luncheon trying to enjoy myself and I do for the most part. But sometimes my heart burns being around the woman on mom's side. Because they are all blissfully ignorant of the pain associated with being reproductively challenged. I thanked her profusely for driving up with the kiddos and and spending time with me on my birthday. This aunt is actually closer in age to me then she is to my mother. When I was younger we were quite close. She was just like an older sister to me and my sister.
By the time I had gotten home I was so emotionally drained. I had wanted to avoid all subjects pertaining to pregnancy, birth, babies, children, etc. on my Birthday and instead I was exposed to lethal does of all the above. I was so blue by the time Hubby came home I didn't want to celebrate anymore! But he wanted to take me shopping for my birthday present. I had it in my head that I was going to get an e-reader. I've been drooling over them for awhile now!! And so we drive the hour down to the biggest town around to look them over. And I talk myself out of all of the ones at bes.t buy because they were CRAPPY!!! And me being the tech savvy that I am didn't realize that the only place they had the k.indle was at Ta.rget!! Am I the only one who didn't know that? So we run over to the Ta.rget. To get my Birthday present and guess what? They didn't have ANY!!! And it will be several weeks before they do be cause the new version has just come out!! Just my Luck!! So not only did I not get to do what I wanted for my birthday, I had to suffer through all the questions I cannot stand and then I didn't even get the present that I wanted!!! All I wanted was a day for ME!! Was that to much to ask for?

After the birthday fiasco I had a somewhat quiet week at work. And then we actually got Mama Farmer talked into a little trip with her 2 besties to the French Lick Spa!! We didn't think we were going to get her to go. She changed her mind a half a dozen times before they actually picked her up. She thought she would get sick while she was there or the food wouldn't agree with her. But nothing bad happened. The food all agreed with her and she had a blast with her girlfriends! They got the works done. (As much as she could participate in considering her health) I tell you though, she looked like a different woman when she came home! She was literally glowing Sunday afternoon! I really think it boosted her morale. We all have tried so hard to help her and to be there for her. We have tried everything in our arsenal to cheer her up and to help her feel better. But I guess there are just some things that only your girlfriends can do...

That my friends if you are still here and made it this far was my month... I hate that I have been so lax in writing. I'm hoping to remedy that! I plan on doing a blog kick in the pants! So stay tuned.

Love & Hugs to you all!!

Pictures!!

PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!! You know it’s been waaaaay too long since I posted some pictures from around the farm. So I thought today should be the day!!!! So here goes


A Baby Cantaloupe This little one is about as big as a marble

This one is about the size of a baseball. And they are all in the same field!

A Baby Watermelon!! They are so stinking cute!! This little guy is about 5 inches long!

Did you know that Watermelons are not Self Fertile!!! (No wonder I like watermelons so dang much!!!) They need Honey Bees to pollinate them.

These pretty pastel colored wooden boxes are Bee Boxes! Or high Rise Apartment complexes for busy bees... Poor fellows they work all the time... (I'm cracking myself up!!!) They are actually homes to thousands and thousands of Honey Bees.

And they are so darn cute!!

I love me some bees!!! Actually I think I want to bee a Bee Keeper!! Yes I know last week I wanted to fly planes and this week I want to keep bees!! I refuse to grow up! I'm a Patricia Pan!!

I’m such a fearless blogger that I had to get some close up shots of the bees for my bloggy friends!! You all mean the world to me!! And that is why I RISKED MY LIFE for these pics!!!
No really Bees don’t bother me for some odd strange reason… Now wasps on the other hand, do bother me!!! There is a story about me and a wasp (or 2) having a make-out session in an old country church down the road from where I grew up… I still have to decide if I’m going to pull out that sad, pathetic picture from the archives… Actually I like to pretend there was never a picture taken of “The Wasp Incident.” But you see I have siblings and they tend to make sure embarrassing things like “The Wasp Incident” are NEVER forgotten!! Thank You Little Big Brother and my Older not wiser but very much more Fertile Sister!!

I like to think that this is the Queen!!!... I know the odds are against me getting a pic of the actual queen but it's a nice little dream!

Airplanes and Farming

I bet you never thought that planes would be a part of farming? Maybe some of you knew that they are used. Personally Mr. Farmer uses a buggy type sprayer which is like a super skinny tractor with wings (ours doesn't fly it stays put, with it's tires firmly on the ground:). But some local farms hire a pilot to top dress the fields and then they don't have to deal with it. It's really quick and super cool. My grandfather used to crop dust. He was a farmer his whole life and he was quite artistic when it came to flying. In fact it's been said he flew his old crop duster like he was a stunt pilot.... He was a pilot in WWII so I think he took alot of those maneuvers home with him and applied them to crop dusting. Whether he needed to barrel roll or not he would do it!!!
So the other night I was on my way home from my 9 to 5 job. (Heading to my 24-7 J.O.B) And I noticed this sweet little crop duster zipping around. And he reminded me so much of they way my Grandfather used to fly. This guy could do some pretty amazing things with his "bird." He was flipping and zipping. He did so many extra maneuvers while he was spraying that I would have thought my Grandfather was flying that plane. It was heavenly watching him. while I sat along the side of the road watching him flip and stall out and then zip back up. I remembered that I had my camera in my work bag! Lucky me!!
My shots aren't what I wanted, because he was so fast and I'm so slow. But I did the best I could. I wish you all could have experienced the sensation of a plane flying toward you at about 60 miles an hour and 10 to 15 feet above the ground. Holy Cow it's such a RUSH!!! I could literally feel the earth shaking under my feet as he was buzzing me. WOW!!! My adrenaline was totally rushing!

I want to learn how to fly now!! I think I should get my license this summer!!!

This was so close to me! He was just barely above the power lines!

Getting ready to start spraying.

You can barely see him above the corn. Because I'm so freaking short I couldn't shoot above the corn.

You can almost see the spray coming out.

This is the roof of the barn my great uncle Built AGES ago!! And I swear he flew so close it looked like he was going to fly right thorough it!

I don't know how to blow this up or I would so you could see how close he ended up coming to me.

I threw this in so you could get a bit of the scale of how tall the corn actually was. I'm 5ft 4in and the corn was a tad taller then me. So the plane was barely 15 feet off the ground!

Baby Chicks

As promised I'm sharing some more farm animals today... I guess probably because these are the only creatures I get to spend time with... I talk to them pet them and sometimes if there good they get a squeeze!!! First are some baby chicks. Mama Farmer works for our local School District and she is good friends with the first grade teacher. And every year the teacher comes out to Mama Farmer's farm to get eggs to hatch for her class. The class learn about incubation and eggs, chickens and the whole nine yards and then when the baby's hatch they get sent back to Mama Farmer to raise. It's a fun time for the kiddos. The kids actually remember her years later when they see her in town and they ask about the chickens its pretty cute. This time around we had she had about 26 or so hatch and now we have a little coop of baby chicks to stare out each night. They are so cute when they first hatch.... And then they get to the awkward half chick/half chicken stage which is just scary!!!

See how cute they are here?


But now they are starting to lose the cute fuzz


And now!! They have hit puberty!!


It's just a matter of weeks from the time they are hatched till they start getting feathers. I hate it! I wish they would stay cute and fuzzy forever... But then I wouldn't get eggs... So I guess it's a good trade off.


See this little gal looks like she is going to be a loud one!! I can't wait.

And now for the horses:

Maverick And Misty

About a week ago we had a scary situation with Maverick. He's getting older and he has been losing a lot of weight. He's almost 26 years old. And he got down and wasn't wanting to eat. It scared us half to death. But the vet got him all fixed up and eating again but it wasn't a good week in the Farmer family Households!!! Maverick is Mama Farmer's Baby and she hasn't been doing to well her self and if we would have lost Maverick I don't know what she would have done!! She probably would have lost it. I know that some people wouldn't quite be able to understand that. But he has been a part of this family for a LOOOOONG time he IS a child to her. And I can't imagine what that would do to her. I just pray he doesn't decide to leave us anytime soon. Mama Farmer is still needing prayers though!! Keep them rolling her way please! She just can't seem to get a break. Although this coming Wednesday will be her LAST Chemo!! But the Chemo has just been whooping her teeny tiny behind. She has lost sooo much weight she doesn't even look like the women she was 5 months ago. Cancer has been so hard on this family!! I wish I could take it from her but I can't so we all do what we can. But it's so hard to watch this wonderful woman be eaten alive by a monster no one can see.

Melon Season II

It's spring time and that means WORK! Work Work Work oh yeah and More WORK!!!! Can you say YUCK? Yes it does get old and there are times I just want to scream for my hubby to come home and lay on the sofa with me for a couple hours and watch sappy movies. But I know better! I chose this life and that's what we do! So I put on my big girl panties and deal with it. Most days I don't complain too much because really it can be pretty fun!! So here are those pics I told you I would try and get. I didn't have time to get pics taken up close while the kids (Being of legal age to work... ie. local teens who help out on farms for extra cash and a good tan!!) were actually on the setter. Cause I had hungry horses to feed and they aren't too happy if your late!!! So I zoomed in as best I could and snapped a few and then ran back to the big babies to make them happy.

Farmer Kid is driving today... You see there is a pecking order in the whole produce production business... When it's nice out (meaning not 100 degrees in the shade) then someone higher up (ie old Farmer Father In Law's) would kick farmer kid off the tractor and Farmer Kid would be stuck on the back setting the melon plants and getting dust kicked in his face. But since today is UNBEARABLY HOT Farmer Kid is where he likes to be: Driving!!!

This is a Setter. The seats aren't too bad. The green framed trays hold the flats of plants. Which you can see sitting in front of the girl in the above picture.

This is the spiky thingy (Not the correct name but MY handy dandy Farmer is out farming so I can't get the info that I need. Sorry) that pokes into the plastic right before the plants are placed in the ground.

A MUST HAVE in Melon Farming!!! You will FRY in the Indiana Sun. It's terrible.

Plant stakes. These are in the flats when they arrive to our farm... Up until a few years ago most farmers actually grew there own seedlings here in greenhouses. But the costs involved are getting higher and higher and so it's just cheaper and actually healthier for the plants to start out at a nursery and then arrive right before planting season...

That's all for tonight! Tomorrow I shall share some pics of the Big Babies. Mavrick and Misty oh and maybe some not so baby chicks!!!!

Love and Hugs to you all!!!!

Melon Season

I know I promised you all pictures of the actual planting of watermelons... And I have to say that at this point I'm going to be disappointing you. They planted the seedlings this past week while I was at work! Jeez! Those boys had no consideration of my Blog!! Hello?!! It was ICLW and I didn't get to post the pics of Farmer Kid and all the helpers riding on The Setter, setting melons. So this past week I have been trying to get home in time to get changed and find a field full of teenagers setting melons and it hasn't worked yet... But maybe it would be better if I woke up a little earlier? Like before dawn? But that doesn't happen to often for me. But I promise I will TRY!!!

These pictures are actually of the plants themselves. And the plastic they are set in. The plastic was laid several weeks ago. It's set really early to get the ground nice and ready for the melon plants. So here is half of what I promised.


The perky little melon seedling popping out of the plastic


It's almost art!! Okay Not really But it's kinda purty to me!! :)




In a matter of weeks this little guy will almost have tripled in size!! And will have pretty little vines growing in all different directions


But right now you can hardly see the green little heads sticking out of the plastic


This is my Golden Chariot!! I can usually been seen flying up & down the country roads between Mama Farmer's house and our humble abode. With a bandanna in my hair, a metal bucket of eggs, a giant bottle of water strapped to the cargo rack, and my handy dandy camera bag dangling from the handle bars... It's not a pretty site.

The next few pics are of our garden. Which always gets planted in the plastic. It helps keeps the weeds down.


My Beautiful Pepper Plants!! Oh How I Love Thee!!


And one more picture of the pepper plant for good measure.


This just happened to slip right out of my camera on to here. I can't delete it!!
Yes it's a whole row of Pepper Plants!!!


Onions!!! Mmmmmm Sweet Onions! I'm already planning dinners in my head for these bad boys

Oh there is nothing in this world better then an Indiana grown Tomato! I'm telling you, that you haven't tasted a tomato if you haven't bitten in to a red, ripe, juicy tomato off the vine in the middle of The Hoosier State.

And that is my garden. I forgot to take pictures of the Cucumbers. My Hubby lives off cucs in the summer time! That boy will actually pick them, rub them on his shirt to get most of the dirt off and bite right into it! I love fresh vegetables but NOT that fresh!!!

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend. And please don't forget the sacrifices that were made for us to celebrate this long weekend! And if you can Thank a Veteran. They can never hear Thank You enough.

Love & Hugs

Wheat

Wheat is one of my favorite crops. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that it's planted in the fall and so it starts growing really really early in the spring so we get to have this lush vivid green field growing. When everything around it is brown and dead. The leaves on the trees haven't even begun to grow yet. Or maybe it's the fact that it's just so gosh dern purty! But really wheat is a beautiful and amazing grain. I always beg the hubbs to plant it in the fields around our house or at least as near by as possible so I can get my green fix. The wheat will actually be ready to harvest in about a month or so. That will be one of the first things ready for harvest. But right now just the bottom of the stems are begging to turn. And the heads are still green and the husks aren't nearly ready. So let me catch you up a bit on the wheat And I haven't been doing my duty as far as posting pics of the farm and our progress thus far.


I know it just looks like grass right now but it's not! This is the beginning of your favorite bread, cereal, crackers you name it.


Notice all the brown around the green? I wish I could capture the real depth of the colors. One day maybe I could. These pics were taken in the middle of March.

And this is the wheat field today. The stems with the head are about two and half feet tall and the heads are the lighter green color.


This is the husk which houses the seed. This one is still not ready but it gives you the idea.


And these are the teeny tiny wheat seeds the get ground into flour for our food. They aren't ready yet they wouldn't be green at all when it's time for harvest. It's more of a tan/brown color.

So that Guys and Gals is wheat!!! Stay tuned for Watermelon Seedlings...

Leo

Yes my horoscope tells me I'm a Leo. I'm not really into all that nonsense but on occasion I will read it if some one has a copy of the paper laying on their desk. Today one of the guys I work with had an article he wanted me to read in our local paper. So I read it and my eyes glanced over to the Horoscope column and quickly found this:

LEO (July 23- Aug 22) - Some major impediments in an arrangement you're trying to get to work will finally break away and let you grow crops in what was a field of weeds.

Ummmm Well that was interesting! I do tend to think of my body as a barren field... So what would the major impediment be? Maybe the fact that I did not ovulate with my miracle herbs! Or maybe I will get another period on them in the next week or so and then in the new cycle I will ovulate!!!!... That is a lot to think about. I just thought I would share this with you all. Since I thought it was so funny that it was farming related and kinda sorta made me think. I'm thinking I need you all to give me your insights on what this horoscope means. I don't know how to decipher them. And I always like to add: "In Bed" even though you are only supposed to do that on fortune cookies!! :)

Oh Holy cow!!! For shits and Giggles I just read Mr. Farmers!! Hold on to your hats!!!

Pisces (Feb 20- March 20) - If you have something interesting you've been working on, and you are ready to launch, throw the switch now. You could be extremely lucky today regarding new endeavors.

WOW! Now if that's not creepy I don't know what is! I think just to be on the safe side I might have to jump Mr. Farmer tonight... Hey my Horoscope said so right?

Fertility update: I pulled out the dreaded, evil and despicable CBEFM. Back when I began spotting about 31 days ago and i peed on sticks faithfully every morning for 20 days. Now it's telling me it's low again I never got a peak fert symbol. But I feel really good taking this stuff I don't know what it's doing. I had some pretty weird cramping right around the time I "should" have been ovulating. So maybe my body is trying to do this. I think I will go one more round on the "Au natural stuff" and then maybe in about 2 months time we will be in a better position to go back to the RE and try again. Mama Farmer actually feels somewhat better but she is carrying a whole lot of equipment around with her. They just added a vacuum to the wound on her stomach to assist in the healing. Her body just is not wanting to heal and I know the chemo probably is mostly to blame for that. But hopefully by the end of June she will have finished all the Chemo treatments. She had to do 13 total and we will be coming up on the 11th this next week. So by July Mr. Farmer will have harvested the wheat got the late beans planted and we will slow down a little. And I will be on may way to Dr. B.... Maybe

This Saturday night depending on the weather... Mr. Farmer and I will be heading out to his High School Mixer. Which is usually tons of fun. But because of the timing we don't always get to go because of planting season and the fact that crops need to get put into the ground before we can party. So the last 2 years we haven't made it to the mixer. So this year could be the first year we have gone since we have been officially TTC. And I know the phrases that I love to hear will be thrown out there and then they will be followed by awkward silences. I'm just hoping I can get tanked up really good this year and I won't remember any of the rude questions about our still being childless or I get really tanked up and throw some not so nice comments back!

Mr. Farmer is 6 years older then me. And so many of the couples that we know have children that are already in Kindergarten and a few are even older then that. Some of these couples have been together as long as Mr. Farmer and I have been together. We were just a little slower at getting married. Hubby and I dated for 5 years before we got married so altogether we have been a couple for nearly nine years!!! So every time we get together with his crowd we have to hear all kinds of "helpful advice" not so nice comments and some actually down right rude comments.

But this time around I'm going to implement a plan to counter attack the nosy fertile ones... See below!!!

Here are my top 5 excuses that I'm going to use when someone comes up to ask why we haven't had any kids yet... Or some other idiotic question regarding my reproductive status! This time I'm going to be prepared!

1.) Well see I don't want to loose my School girl Figure... (::Insert hysterically drunk laughing here:: and then point at the woman who said the above comment or point to said commenter's wife and say:: "like you/she did"::and then laugh again::)

2.) Well see I like to be able to drink alcohol till my face turns numb!!! And you can't really do that if your knocked up or have a kid hanging on you...

3.) Well we don't have to worry about getting home to relieve a babysitter. Heck we could drive to Florida tonight and we wouldn't have to tell a soul!

4.) Mr. Farmer and I can sleep in as late as we want after an all night drinking binge. And we don't have to worry about having to get up to take care of a little kiddo.

5.) My 1968 Brittany Blue Mustang would not look very cool with a baby seat in the back

I'm sure I don't have to explain that I would gladly give up all these things for the rest of eternity if I knew I could have child in my arms... But by actually acknowledging that we have a problem to some of these idiots would just make it ten time worse. So for me and Mr. Farmer it's easier to think of funny or not so nice come backs to say to nosy people who don't really need to know our reproductive status... Please think of some more good come backs and share them in the comments!! I'm sure we are going to need them!

Love & Hugs

What If...

What if I can't give my husband an heir... I know this isn't Mid-evil times. This is not the year 1510!! Why? Do you ask, am I'm acting like it is? Let me explain my madness...

My husband is a farmer. And as such, farm families pass the ground & business on to the next generation. My husband is the last in his family, his father had 2 brothers none of whom had sons so the farm passes to my husband. Mr. Farmer is the last of 5+ generations farming and living on this ground. And he has no one to pass this on to. His ground has been in his family for hundreds of years. I know it has come up between his mother and father about what is going to happen to "The Farm" when they die. What will happen to the ground they poured their very blood, sweat and tears into?

What if I can't give a child to my husband?

This thought keeps me up at night. I'm the first wife in this long line of Farmer women who could not produce an heir... If this was the year 1510 I could be beheaded for not producing an heir!! I realize my husband is not that shallow as to leave me for some one who could produce a child. But I want more then anything to give him the sons/daughters he deserves.

What if... We turn 70 and we have no children? We will end up having to sell his family's heritage, and history instead of having someone to pass that legacy on to...

What if... We never have a biological child but we get the opportunity to adopt and can create a new legacy!! And his name will still have chance to live on? I hope that no matter what we will have a child, whether it is born through my body or through my heart. I will give him a child!!

Please go over to Mels blog and read other IFs.

www.resolve.org/infertility101

www.resolve.org/takecharge

Answers for Marla and Circus Princess

Marla,
No we do not name all the hens or the rooster's there are just way too many. And quite a few of them look a lot a like. Although there is one little hen that has been named. She is a funny little gal that was hatched with a deformed leg. And hops around like she has a kick stand. She is a cute little gal. Mr Farmer named her Petie. Why he named her a boy's name I don't know but that's her name. She hides from the roosters and the other hens. Because chickens can be mean to one another. That is where "The Pecking Order" originated from. They can be down right terrible to one another. So Petie hides and we give her a special pile of food that the others can't get at. And the roosters are pretty much to blame when it comes to who gets pecked on.

Circus Princess,
Our roosters don't seem to need the Viagra. Those roosters are quite virile. So I don't think we will be calling the local vet for a big "boost of confidence" for my roosters.
But I think what really helps them perform is: Mama Farmer will fry all the slackers...
I think that little tactic keeps the roosters on their toes and in their peak performance

Now about the eggs: there is a VERY slim chance of getting a fully formed chick. It is usually only a problem if you don't keep track of your chickens or where they lay their eggs. And if you are not out gathering your eggs EVERYDAY!!! Some hens will hide their eggs if they are free range (meaning out in the "wilderness" 24 hours a day.) They will set on them for several days and then finally we humans stumble upon them and throw them in the basket... And instead of a fried egg you could end up with a fried chicken... It can be pretty gross!! But if you keep your chickens in a run so they can go out in the sun throughout the day. And then have a place for them to roost each night they will lay their eggs in the coop and not hide them. That way you won't have to worry about having half-formed chicks... Which by they way is about the worst start to your day!!!

Double Yolks: I know that some of our hens are pretty consistent at laying double yolked eggs or as my 5 year old nephew says: A Double yodder... They say that some of the bigger hens can lay double yodders every time. Not sure why some of them can and some can't It might be the DNA... Who Knows!! Also some of the little bitty hens called Banty's (Bantam is the proper name) they have little bitty eggs almost half the size of a regular chicken egg. When they first start laying they some eggs won't even have a yolk in them. So that would be an no yodder!!...

The Hen House

I want to introduce you to the little ladies that rule the roost down at the Farm... These little ladies are busy little bees. Let me tell you. They have about 5 roosters terrorizing them at all hours of the day.... But they are happy little gals and they fill my egg basket every night. The pictures are a little fuzzy cause the lighting is terrible in the coop and a chicken NEVER stands still!!!!


Patiently waiting for cracked corn and ground feed

Edna looks like she's dancing but really she is just heading down to Sally's cubby so they can chat about that stud of a rooster...

I wish you could hear the noise. Chickens and roosters are so freaking loud!! It's incredible all the noise that goes on in a little coop

This is the end that an egg comes out of... Yes Little Miss Sally is entering her little cubby to lay her daily egg

The Headless Chicken... No not really she is just really into getting that corn at the bottom of the bunk that she isn't even paying any attention to me

This guy thinks he is Hot stuff. All the ladies want him... Well shall call him Antonio

One of the 6 things Chickens do all day long. Peck, eat, poop, get nailed by the sex crazed roosters, lay eggs, & sleep

Now the Roosters day is a little different then that... But I won't go into his day. Let's just say he does one thing over and over and over again....

Poor Girls!!!