A Christmas present for a little Farmer

Yes it is right around the corner and I just wanted to share a gift my husband has been working on for our nephew. He is head over heels in love with his uncle's tractors especially his combines. So when Chuck comes to uncle Farmer's house he is just in awe. Uncle Farmer will take him for rides on the Big Combine or the other tractors and when they come inside Uncle Farmer has 2 rooms full of toy tractors (that are collectors items) and he wishes he could play with them but he can't. So C. was in Rural King this past summer with his mama and found out that there is a Pedal Combine!!! And oh my goodness he has pestered us all to take him in and buy it. Well when that didn't work his Grandma told him to write a letter to Santa. In the meantime while C. was waiting on a reply. Grandma T. went to town and picked up a pedal combine, Uncle Farmer put it together and T. and I took a bunch of pictures of it, in front of a backdrop with a little Christmas tree and Grandma T. mailed him a Christmas card with a letter from Santa and pictures of a pedal combine that Santa was going to bring him if he was good... Well C. was SOOO shocked that he got a letter back from Santa that he has been EXTRA good!!!



Well Farmer thought you can't have a combine without a head carrier so he made one this past week to go with his combine and I just had to show everyone. I'm soo proud of my hubby!!! Anyway take a peak at the pictures below I took the pictures of the boys when they were here at our house with their papa. Farmer and I had put the Pedal Combine in our back bedroom and shut the door, thinking this would keep him from peeking. Well I had got my hands full with helping his older brother get cleaned up for lunch and I left him in the living room alone for maybe a minute and a half tops!! Well that was long enough for him to wander into the dark laundry room to the shut up back bedroom, open the door and sneak in!!



Well I came around the corner looking for him and I knew he was in there. He came tip toeing out all excited and grinning from ear to ear!!! He comes up to me and whispers "Uncle Farmer HAS A PEDAL COMBINE!!! He was speechless!!!" This little 3 year old kid was awe stuck!!! He couldn't believe what he had just seen. So I said yes that is Uncle Farmer's Pedal Combine and he doesn't want anybody playing with it. And then he said like those (pointing to the tractor rooms) and I said yes. While I'm trying to keep my composure with out laughing and scooping him up in my arms and saying: no C. Auntie Farmer can't lie to you this is really yours. Instead I said Uncle Farmer would be very upset if you were to mess it up. So his little face fell and I said why don't we go and tell your papa what we found... Well I got them outside and told my Brother in Law what had happened and papa told C. that Uncle Farmer loves combines soo much that when he comes in at night he rides this one all round the house while Aunt Farmer cooks dinner!! I was snorting I was laughing so I hard. I had the vision of my 200lb husband peddling around our kitchen island with this little bitty combine tucked up underneath him... Oh lord it was a bad mental picture. Well not to much was said that afternoon but the next day C. had his mom call Farmer cause he had a deal to make. He told Uncle Farmer that he would trade his Old pedal Tractor, and wagon for Uncle Farmer's Combine!!! (He thought this all up himself!!!) Well Uncle Farmer was holding back the laughter and trying to be serious because C. was dead serious. So Farmer tells him that he isn't done with the combine yet. And he would have to think about the deal. Then C. said he would give Farmer his dog Chewy too. Farmer said "well how about you go to the dentist and then we will think about it". Well C. didn't like that idea because he HATES the dentist. So he said: Me getting a pedal combine from Santa!!!! And hung up!!!!
So the following week was C.'s older sister T.'s birthday and we ran over to give her a birthday present. While we there C. brought out his old pedal tractor and wagon and started heading for the door (it was dark and raining out) and his mom says where do you think your going? He says "I'm trading my pedal tractor for Uncle Farmer's Pedal Combine!!!" Well Farmer says I don't think that's enough to trade for it C!! So C. runs back to the toy room with the wagon and pedal tractor. He was back there for a good while. So by the time we were ready to go he comes out with the pedal tractor wagon behind it was full of EVERY toy tractor that boy had even a couple of his brothers toy tractors too!!!! He jumps off and says "Is this enough?" Uncle Farmer started to smile and tried to hold back the laugh that was creeping in. And said C. I don't think so. Then C. thinks for a minute. And says your getting Chewy too!!! How about Big C.? (Big C. is his older brother) And Farmer said C. I still don't think that's enough. Then C. says: Okay and sighs, "how about T., Big C., Chewy and all this?" Farmer couldn't keep it in any longer we all were laughing and C. was getting irritated. Farmer asked him who would you play with then? He says: "Meow Meow" (The cat) and my pedal Combine!!!!!!!!!

Well of course we couldn't win with logic like that but he still hasn't gotten it yet but he will in a couple of weeks. And for now we are dodging the calls...





And yes that is Miss Pissy Missy herself. I can never get a picture of her when I want to take a picture of her. When I want to take a picture of something else she magically appears...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!

It's here!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally got my monitor!!! Happy Thanksgiving to me!!! It arrived yesterday afternoon. So I read my manual from cover to cover and got everything ready for when I get to start my first test!!! Yi"pee"!!! He-he fertility humor is pathetic... Anyway I also started my first dose of prometrium this morning. So maybe I won't be too emotionally today. I was a little worried because I will be with my cousin who just had her baby girl a month ago. I need to have total control of all of my emotions today. I guess it was probably a good thing I wasn't able to start this any sooner because I would probably be a basket case come this evening when I would have to see E. and S.. So I guess everything happens for a reason!!!

Have a peaceful, joy filled Thanksgiving!!!!!

Well I still have NOT gotten my Damn Fertility Monitor yet!!! I called several times on Saturday to The Fertility Shop and every time I called the voicemail would state that all customer service representative are busy please leave a message and we will get back to you as soon as possible So I left a nice short message and gave them my number. And then I didn't get a call back." Well my job being in sales has always taught me to CALL BACK ASAP!!!!!!!! NO MATTER WHAT!!! So my call being ignored really ticked me off!!!! Because here I had spent a good chunk of change with them and now they were ignoring me!!! They had stated on their website that they shipped out the same day as long as the order was in before 2:00 pm if after it would go out the following business day. On next day shipping also. So it should have been here: Wednesday (the 19th) afternoon if not Thursday (the 20th)!!! Well here I am on Tuesday (the 25th) and I have no monitor!!!!!!!! So I'm getting a a wee bit pissy!!!! Yesterday I called around 12:00pm several times and it kept saying it was after business hours and it wouldn't even give me the option of voice mail!! So by the time I came in this morning I was pissed so I got on their website and looked for some more contact info and I called them continuously for 15 minutes I pressed each option and finally gave up on that and then emailed them a professionally Nasty e-mail. I didn't call names or use dirty words I just wrote that it stated on their website that they send out the orders next day shipping and I had not received it and how I had expected better service yada-yada and then 5 min later I had a new email and it said:

The comments for your order are

Hi Mrs. Farmer,

My apologies! Your order is on it's way to you. You should have it either in today's mail or tomorrow's mail :)



Your order has been updated to the following status.

New status: Processing


So hopefully tonight I will be starting my first dose of prometrium and will be a full force bitch on wheels/ emotional basket case by the time Thanksgiving rolls around and I can make a nice little scene at all of our family functions!!! Yahoo!!! I love being extra moody at the holidays!!! It just makes it that much more special!!!
I'll have updates I promise!!!

A horrible Warning?

There is nothing more insightful and eyeopening then hearing another person's strugle with their family life, to bring your own lot in life into perspcetive. I realized today that yes I'm upset that I haven't gotten pregnant yet. And yes I'm upset that my sister just had her 4th child and neither my sister nor her husband have a full time job or the intention of getting one. They would rather keep living off his mother and keep going to school. School being the only thing they truly worry about. So I realized that I had my prorities backward on all this I sat their and realized that I cannot change the fact that my sister is choosing this lot in life for her children but something in this life will make these kids who they are tomorow. It may be something good it maybe something ho-hum but they will go on to have children and something GREAT could come from them too. I can't sit here screaming and crying that she isn't the mother that I would be if I had her kids. I can't fight about what Farmer would do in M.'s (brother in law) situation. I can only take this in stride and DEAL with it. It has happened there is nothing that can be changed or fixed. These kids are here for a reason. And K. and M. won't listen to a damn thing I say to change it. So I must deal with that. I feel like I just opened my eyes for the first time to all of this. The light hurts but in time I can adjust... Maybe... I might just need to close them again and go back to sleep. I hate that I have to watch my sister make a mess of her life and her relationships. But I see this as something that I won't let myself do. I think of what Cathrine Aird always said: "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
I think my sister has done this for me...

Clear Blue Easy? (There isn't one Damn thing about Infertility thats Easy or Clear!!! But often times I'm Blue)

I'm starting to panic!!! My doctor told me to buy one of those Fertility Moniters. So I looked all last weekend. And there were none to be found around here... CVS had them online and a local Pharmacy was able to order one for me but it was OUTRAGOUSLY priced. So I got on the internet and looked around of course I found thousands of them. And E-bay had tons, which was TOTALLY out of the question. I found online pharmacies and they had them at reasonable prices. Then I stumbled upon thefertilityshop.com and they had a HUGE sale on them. It was the brand that I wanted and they had FREE Shipping, and with the price of the moniter I got 1pk of 30 test strips (which normally cost $49.99) and a pkg of batteries too. All for $184.99!!!!! So I was on the fence should I spend the $210 and get it locally and still have to spend $50 on test strips too or spend $184.99 and get it ALL online? Well I'm a sucker for a sale!! I couldn't help it!!! They were all offering the same brand the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Moniter. So I went and ordered it on Monday and I haven't gotten it yet!!! I'm soo scared that I got scamed and wasted the money and now I'll still have to go and spend the $210 at William's Bros and then $50 more on the strips because I was stupid and saw a sale.... Or it just may be taking an extra long time to get mailed to me? I know I'm probably worring way to early. But I can't help my self. One of the girls at work told me to spend the extra and buy it at the Pharmacy here in town. And one of the other girls said to save the money for the baby cause I'll really need it then... So I thought here I'm doing a good thing and trying to be thrifty. And now I'm paying for it by not having the damn thing yet!!! Just watch after I went and complained all about this I'll probably get it today!!!


Oh and then to top it all off. I went yesterday afternoon to get the perscription filled. (I waited all week cause I can't take the script tell I have the moniter) So I ran to get it filled after I got off work yesterday. And they said that they only had one dose to give me they didn't have enough there for the full script... So I guess that on top of coming home last night and finding that I still did not have my moniter made me a panic just a little...

2 Years!!!!

Can it be possible? I can't believe we have survived 2 whole years of marriage without killing each other... He-He No I'm kidding we have been so happy we have had some serious obstacles thrown at us. But overall I kind of wonder why we didn't get married sooner. He is the yen to my yang, the tire to my wheel, the cheese to my macaroni!!!! I don't know what I would do without him. These two years have taught us a lot about each other and our selves. But I love the lessons I keep learning and I can't wait to learn more with my Hubby!!!! We mesh so well together and I love that about our relationship!!! I thank God everyday that I got this Life to live!!!! I wouldn't want ANY body else's life!!! I love our funny little house, our crazy dogs that drool all over us, our pissy little kitty Missy, our old farm and especially the arms that hold me close at night. I just wanted to tell everyone what I'm thankful for!!!!

Baby Ella!!!!

My sister finally had her baby!!!! She was born Sunday Nov. 16th at 12:01 am. (Which if anyone is keeping track was a long freaking time!!!!) Her water actually broke around 10:00 pm on Thursday 13th but my sister has her children with mid-wives only and they do not believe in interfering unless it is a life and death situation. So my sister had her water birth and said it was the most beautiful thing she has ever experienced. She actually got to pull her out herself. So it was just her and Ella. This is her fourth child. The last 3 were born at home and the 1st was born in the hospital with a Douala. But she highly recommends the water birth method... I'm in no way shape or form condoning this method of delivery since I firmly believe in hospitals, doctors and lots of nurses!!!! but I just thought I would at least say that she did enjoy it... But had she had it in a hospital they would not have let her go that long and then end up having a "Dry" birth but that's my 2 cents. But please enjoy the picture of my new niece and I'll try and download some more to post later!!!

The Result

I made it though the doctors appointment without crying and making a fool of myself! Yippee for me!!! I don't quite know how but I did. It was soo weird because about 5 min before I walked out the door my mom calls me. Which is not a good sign, my mother and I are not close what so ever. Which I will get into those details at another time... I was so dreading answering it but being my brother is in the military I answer all calls from my mother just in case its an emergency. So I'm standing in the kitchen putting my coat on and I say: Hello? And mom says that she just got off the phone with my sister's mother in law and Katie's (my sister) water broke last night so they went to the birthing center (midwife owned) and she has not started labour yet but she is waiting for it to begin. Great!!! Katie is in labour with my soon to be niece or nephew and I have to walk into a ob/gyn appt about my lack of fertility with that on my mind!!!!!!!!!!! Geesh!!! So I said well great I'm excited I can't wait to hear what she has... Will you call me as soon as you hear? End of conversation. I try to keep phone calls with my mother to a minimum so I walk out the door and I'm suddenly over taken with the fact that I may never been in her position now!! I may never be excited and scared driving to the hospital with my bag packed and empty baby seat in the back... But I told my self not to think about it!!! I have a thousand and one things to do today... So I called Farmer as I was driving and talked to him that got me to about the half way mark between me and the doc and then about 5 min after I hung up with him my sister in law called (hubby's sister) she is a godsend in times like these. I actually hate talking on the phone with her most of the time because my cell phone battery almost always dies when she calls so I instantly have to plug my phone in to finish all the gossip and local news with me. So I talked to her the whole time I pumped gas (which I know is supposed to be a hugh no no but I didn't blow up) which I drive a truck so that took about 10 min then all the way to e-ville. I actually had to tell her I'm sitting in the parking lot I have to go in now... Which then I still had to let her finish up her last little story. So yes I was pre occupied for the hour long drive. Which any other time I would have hated but oh well she kept my mind busy. So I walked in and filled out my paper work and sat down to wait. It wasn't too long and I was in the room and Dr. R. walked in and we talked. She knows my history of PCOS and we then talked about the prevalence of multiples in my family. So she said that she didn't want to start me out on Clomid first thing. Cause I might end up with more babies then I could hold at one time. So she said first I'm going to give you another prescription of progesterone to get me started and then she said I want you to buy a fertility monitor to see if your even ovulating and buy 2 packs of sticks cause it maybe a LONG cycle (which I usually don't even get a period except every 3 to 4 months) so she wanted me to have extra sticks on hand. And then after that 1st round I go back in depending on the results of the monitor. So pray pray pray that I get some peak days on that darn thing!!!! I have yet to find a monitor around here. Farmer and I went to CVS and Wal mart in Washington. And neither one of them carried them. So I called Williams Bros Pharmacy and they can order one for me. I can't get it in till tomorrow. So I'm going to check my local wally world and CVS in P'ton and then if they don't have one check in Vincennes next. Hopefully I can find one tonight instead of having to order it. I have to have the monitor right when I get my period after I start the progesterone because I could start within a day or 2 this time around cause I guess I have a stronger script... We'll see It took 12 days to get a period the last time... I'm going to be optimistic though I truly think that this will work because I have heard good things about these monitors...

The Big Day!!!

Yes it is today my "big" doctors appointment... When I made this appointment it seemed like ages away. I didn't think I could wait that long (2 months) for the appointment because I was so ready to figure out what the issue is. I know that the majority of it is because I have PCOS but they thought after progesterone I may be able to conceive... Not yet!!! I'm nervous and excited all at once. I'm worried about everything. I want a baby soo bad!!! Every day I hear of someone else getting pregnant. At this very moment I'm waiting for my sister to call and say she is in labour!!! I'm surrounded by it!!! Baby Fever has caught just about everyone I know!!! And I'm so scared it won't catch me...

I will try and post later what my doctor says. Have a wonderful Friday and PRAY for me!!!!

Love & Hugs

My boo boo...

Oh man I screwed up big time last week!!! I have never in all my life felt as stupid as I did when I did this:
My loving husband of soon to be 2 years gave me the ultimate after Christmas gift this past year. I have wanted an old (as in mid to late 60's) Mustang for as long as I can remember. My dad had one when he was young and I loved looking at pictures of it growing up and dreaming of the day when I would own one. I even had it down to the color I wanted and everything!!! I wanted a 1964 1/2 Mustang coupe Dark blue with blue interior. Automatic with the console. I was ate up with this car. But I never was able to find one that was in my price range and was a running and safe auto to drive. So I never thought I would have one. Well hubby was searching on E-bay around Christmas time and I had never in my wildest dreams had thought to look on e-bay for a mustang well hubby looked and looked and found one!!! It was a little newer (1969) then what I had dreamed and lighter blue then what I wanted but it was a MUSTANG!! And it was close by too!!!! Just about an hour and 1/2 away. How amazing was that? Well hubby bid on it and it didn't make the reserve so it didn't get bought. Well hubby called the boy who was selling it and asked if he would take cash? Instead of putting it up for auction again. He said yes he would take cash. So hubby and I drove up on New Years Day and took a look at it. She was rough she needed lots of love and attention but she had good bones and a great interior. And she was BLUE!!! So we drove home that night contemplating what our next move would be. Well hubby decided it was a good idea and the following week we took off on Friday Afternoon and headed for Clinton Ind with our trailer behind us. We had so much fun. We knew it was going to be awhile before she was roadworthy but Farmer was excited about getting her home and fixing her up. Farmers need a winter project... So we got her loaded and brought home pulled her off the trailer and drove her down our country road a little ways and I was in love!!! I loved the way she sounded, I loved the way she rode, I love the way she laid the rubber on the road out in front of the house... I was totally in awe that she was Mine!!!

Farmer had one request since we were going to keep her in the garage. That I had to pull her in as close as possible to the wall on the passenger side because the doors were so long on my car that they would hit his pick up truck. So I did this faithfully everyday I drove it...
Well fast forward a few months and hubby had her running like a top. I was driving my little sweetie EVERYWHERE!!! She was still in bad need of a paint and a little bit of body work but he had done everything inside to get her up to date. Well all summer I drove her and as it turned into fall it started getting colder I knew it would be better to not drive her as much. (Its harder on a classic car to sit in a cold parking lot all day and try and start) So on Wednesday I knew it would be warm all day so I got ready and threw my stuff in the back seat of my baby girl and turned the key put her in gear and backed out, then I heard the crunching noise and crack and I hit the brakes so fast she died then she rolled a little. I was SICK!!!!!!!!!!! My stomach had jumped into my throat and I couldn't swallow it. I tried to open the door but my fingers didn't want to work... I finally got the door open after much cussing and crying. I made my way around to the grisly scene to see the mess I had just made of my beautiful baby!!!

I had hit the door frame of the garage door. I scratched the paint and dented in the rear passenger fender. It had been hit in the same place before so it was full of bondo so when I hit the wall it knocked the bondo right out.



Oh I was sick I was trembling. I never had thought I would get something like this in my whole life and here I go and Fu*$ it up!!!! I was so upset. Maggie my dog was hiding under the pick up watching me chew myself out, but I'm sure she thought I was cussing at her cause she backed up even further under the truck. She really must have thought I was going to beat her or something. Buddy my other dog wouldn't even come in to the garage he was so scared of me.
I didn't know what else to do. I thought if I drive it to work more bondo might come out. So I got my stuff out and I had to find some treats for the dogs cause I had to lock them back up in the garage and they weren't coming back in since I gave them such a cussing then I shut the garage door and started to cry again. I couldn't believe I was sooo stupid!!! I have never in my life done something that stupid!!! (Up to now anyway) So I jumped in the truck and headed to work. I tried to gain a little composure and I picked up my phone to call my hubby and tell him what I had done. I was so embarrassed about it. I hated having to tell him that I did it. Especially after all the hard work he had put into it. I felt like such a loser. But I called him and told him. He wasn't too upset about it. Not as upset as I was. I was really kicking myself for having done it. But Its over now and Thank God!!! Farmer was outside last night working on it. I didn't have the heart to go out last night and look at it. I don't want to. I just thought everyone would enjoy hearing about my screw up and maybe learn from this, that you aren't supposed to love THINGS!!!! I hope I have learned my lesson!!!

What would you have done?

I’m having a crappy day, today so I thought I would blog because that always makes me feel better. I have a splitting headache and I found out yet another friend I know is pregnant…. I’m not jealous entirely I just hate hearing it right now. I get so depressed when I find out that someone else is having a baby and is “surprised” cause they weren’t even “trying” yet. I know that I’m supposed to be learning something from this. That is what all hardships are for aren’t they? A learning experience for when you finally have what you have longed for. So that you won’t take it for granted when you finally get it. Right? Or am I just hoping all this for nothing?

This past weekend Farmer and I were invited to a cookout with some of our friends. We thought it was a big get together of several couples and so we were really looking forward to seeing everyone. When you farm you don’t see a lot of your friends until the busy seasons end, because everyone is working late on the weekends. So we headed to J & H’s house on Saturday night with a back seat full of food and beer. When we pulled in we only saw one other truck and so we figured we were early and got out and walked in. It had been about 2 or 3 months since we had gotten together for dinner with J & H. J is my husband’s best friend since infancy. J was in our wedding and they actually lived right down the road from us for several years up until about 2 years ago. Well J’s wife and I have never really been close. We don’t hang out or call each other. She is older then I am and they have children now and we just run in different circles. So she and I have never been close we just talk when our husbands get together or where all at parties together. I don’t have a problem with H she is just different then I am so for the past 7 years we have never gotten past the usual conversations about the locals and her kids. Well in May J & H had their 2nd child a little boy who is beautiful. And they have a 4 yr old little girl also. So when we came in J & H had only asked one other couple to come for the cookout. I immediately felt out of place because Farmer sort of knew them I had never met them before. And they had brought their little girl too who was J & H’s daughter’s age. So everyone had someone to talk to. And I was kind of out of the loop on both of the adult’s conversations. So I just drank my drink and prayed it would rain so we could go home… I wasn’t going to be that lucky. So the boys followed J around the house and looked at the new addition they were adding on to their house. H took the girls and I inside and got the food ready. It was then that I learned that this other woman who had come, whom I’d never met before had just suffered a miscarriage the week before. And I realized that this must have been the reason H had sent her little one to her parents for the evening. I guess knowing it might be hard for D to be around a little baby. I was a little disappointed because I was in need of a baby fix in the worst way. But I didn’t say anything about him not being there. While I listened to D and H talk about the miscarriage I felt horrible about being the stranger just listening to her and H talk about it. Then the boys were ready to eat and so we all headed out and roasted hot dogs and got set down to eat on the porch with all of us talking with the little girls playing in the garage and there was a lull in the conversation and all of a sudden out of nowhere it happened… I was broad sided Farmer & I both were!!!! Evil people!!!!
H set down her hot dog looked right at Farmer and I both and says: Are you 2 not trying to get pregnant? Or have you seen someone (DOCTOR) or what?…
Excuse me? What the hell? Why are you bringing this up in front of 2 perfect strangers? And really you don’t know me well enough for me to tell you any of that either!!!! Well then of course I about chocked on my hot dog and Farmer was turning purple from embarrassment and then D’s dear sweet husband turns to Farmer and says well Farmer you just need to bury it a little deeper… HA-HA HA… WTH? I was still trying to chew and swallow that damn piece of hot dog that I just couldn't’t seem to get down. Farmer kind of made a sad attempt at a chuckle and I was still stunned and then the girls went on about different doctors too see. And how I should try a ovulation predictor kit because that works for EVERYONE!!!! But I didn't want to stand up in front of these strangers and explain that in order for a ovulation predictor kit to work you have to be ovulating... Jeez!!!! Then the conversation turned to what could possibly be wrong with Mrs. Farmer and Mr. Farmer? Why were they not producing like the little rabbits their friends have all suddenly turned in to... I was praying for rain, or an earthquake, tornado, tidal wave, Any thing for the questions to stop. I have never in all my life felt so exposed and naked as I did when total strangers were discussing Our fertility!!! Why is this such a hot topic for people? Why must this become dinner conversation at parties?

I now wonder myself if I have ever been the pushy one in a conversation like this. And I pray that they have forgiven me if I ever was. It is frightening to think that people feel the need to know private details of other peoples lives. What is the deal?

Sorry this was soo long I just wanted everyone to get a feel for what had lead up to the actual crap that pissed me off.