Under the Gun

I have fallen off the proverbial blog wagon yet again! I get into a rut and it sucks me down even deeper!! I have actually been working on a HUGE Project for work the past several weeks and it SUCKS big time!!! So all my blogging time flew right out the window. For that I apologize. I have so much to catch you all up on. But I can't do it this very moment. Please pray that I can get through this project with out harming, maiming or killing any co-workers! That would be really BAD for business!!! :(
(Not to mention that it would probably be hard to blog from a Jail Cell)
I love you all!!! And I miss you all so terribly!

August

I have been MIA for over a month now. I suddenly got struck with a severe allergic reaction to blogging. Not sure why. But I avoided writing at all costs!! I really can't explain why I get into ruts like this but I do. So before I let a whole month slip away with out blogging I'm going to do a month in review....

The last week of July Mama Farmer was told before she did more chemo she would need to have a round of immunity boosting shoots. So from the 1st of August through the 4th she got shots to help build her immunity. On the 6th she had to have more fluid drained from her abdomen. Poor gal has been having anywhere from 7 to 9 liters drained each week. It's become her Friday afternoon ritual.

On August 10th was our monthly Book Club meeting. Which I was hosting this time around. We ended up having a record amount of attendees. Which was awesome because it was our 1 year anniversary!! It was quite exciting seeing how big we had grown in a years time. The book we discussed was my pick. I was actually a little disappointed. I chose: Eat, Pray, Love By: Elizabeth Gilbert. I chose it mostly because the movie was going to be coming out 3 or 4 days after our meeting. It was a very hard book for me to get through. I was not impressed! I actually liked the movie more then the book. I think that's the first time I have ever been able to say that. But anyway check out the movie it was great. The book club went as a group to a matinee on the following Saturday. It was a blast seeing it together because we all were laughing at the same times and whispering to each other when we thought something would have looked different in the movie. We meet for lunch at a great little downtown cafe. It was a wonderful book club meeting and Saturday lunch date.

August 13th Mama Farmer had to have another 9 liters drained... The doctors are beginning to be more and more concerned with the amount of fluid she is creating. So they have decide to put off doing Chemo till her strength returns and hopefully the liver will cut back on creating so much excess fluid...

The next week was actually pretty uneventful except for my weekly exercise class. Back in July my mama literally begged me to take a Zumba class with her. She is always looking for something for "Us" to do together. So we can bond.... I don't know if you all know this but my mother drives me batty!! But I knew she wouldn't let up unless I just gave in and went with her. So I did and no I have a new obsession!!!! Zumba !!!!! Oh my goodness if you don't know what this is you need to run to your local gym and beg for them to start it!!! I also thought that if I went to this class with my mom I would be able to spend time with her, without "spending" time with her. If you get my drift!! :) I have been working really hard and diet and exercise this past month. I'm going to the gym for Zumba 2 to 3 days a week. I haven't lost any lbs but I know I'm losing serious inches!!! My arms and legs are getting so toned!! I can't believe it!!! And now I don't feel guilty for ever seeing my mother... And we are sooo busy working out she can't say anything snarky!!! I only have to listen to her snarkiness walking into class and walking out! How about them apples?

August 18th and 19th I had my yearly meltdown... The one where I am reminded at how old my ovaries are going to be on the 20th of August. Last year I had a melt down at work when I came back from lunch and my office had a surprise birthday party for me. They had cake, ice cream, balloons, flowers, the works! Yes I know you probably think I'm to young to have birthday melt downs! But I always thought I would have had all my kiddos by now and my hubby and I would just be happy raising toddlers in to happy children... Not trying to deal with the fact that I may never be a parent... So this year I took the dreaded day off so as to avoid any surprises. Side note: Tears and snot don't look very nice on pastel cake icing
I had planned on spending the whole day with my hubby hauling grain and not letting my brain wonder to "the Dark side." But my mother being the wonderful mother that she is. Had other plans!! My mom planned a lunch date for me, mom, dad my aunt (my godmother) Aka Mrs. Fertile Mertyle and 3 of her 11 children. She has never had a multiple these are all singletons!! She is a wonderful mother! She is a stay at home mom. My uncle has a wonderful job. But of all people for my mother to surprise me with this is the woman! I got to spend the one day that is the darkest for me staring back at her with watching my sweet little cousin cuddle in her lap. And knowing if she wanted to she could have one more... Yes these are the woman in my family the ones that say I'm ready for another one... 9 months later they have a beautiful baby bundle in their arms. I am the 2nd oldest grandchild of 42 grandchildren!!! This number does not include any great grand babies! My mom's side of the family is huge and it's so frustrating because every female is fertile but me!!!
So I sit at my surprise birthday luncheon trying to enjoy myself and I do for the most part. But sometimes my heart burns being around the woman on mom's side. Because they are all blissfully ignorant of the pain associated with being reproductively challenged. I thanked her profusely for driving up with the kiddos and and spending time with me on my birthday. This aunt is actually closer in age to me then she is to my mother. When I was younger we were quite close. She was just like an older sister to me and my sister.
By the time I had gotten home I was so emotionally drained. I had wanted to avoid all subjects pertaining to pregnancy, birth, babies, children, etc. on my Birthday and instead I was exposed to lethal does of all the above. I was so blue by the time Hubby came home I didn't want to celebrate anymore! But he wanted to take me shopping for my birthday present. I had it in my head that I was going to get an e-reader. I've been drooling over them for awhile now!! And so we drive the hour down to the biggest town around to look them over. And I talk myself out of all of the ones at bes.t buy because they were CRAPPY!!! And me being the tech savvy that I am didn't realize that the only place they had the k.indle was at Ta.rget!! Am I the only one who didn't know that? So we run over to the Ta.rget. To get my Birthday present and guess what? They didn't have ANY!!! And it will be several weeks before they do be cause the new version has just come out!! Just my Luck!! So not only did I not get to do what I wanted for my birthday, I had to suffer through all the questions I cannot stand and then I didn't even get the present that I wanted!!! All I wanted was a day for ME!! Was that to much to ask for?

After the birthday fiasco I had a somewhat quiet week at work. And then we actually got Mama Farmer talked into a little trip with her 2 besties to the French Lick Spa!! We didn't think we were going to get her to go. She changed her mind a half a dozen times before they actually picked her up. She thought she would get sick while she was there or the food wouldn't agree with her. But nothing bad happened. The food all agreed with her and she had a blast with her girlfriends! They got the works done. (As much as she could participate in considering her health) I tell you though, she looked like a different woman when she came home! She was literally glowing Sunday afternoon! I really think it boosted her morale. We all have tried so hard to help her and to be there for her. We have tried everything in our arsenal to cheer her up and to help her feel better. But I guess there are just some things that only your girlfriends can do...

That my friends if you are still here and made it this far was my month... I hate that I have been so lax in writing. I'm hoping to remedy that! I plan on doing a blog kick in the pants! So stay tuned.

Love & Hugs to you all!!

4th of July

What are your plans for the 4th? I hear this question everyday for a week or 2 before the actual holiday. Usually Mr. Farmer and I like to lay low when it comes to holidays we don't commit. We like to be free agents so we can flutter from party to party and then hit the road early so we can go home and :::GASP::: cuddle and watch TV!! Yes Mr. Farmer and I are home bodies. We love to stay home and snuggle with the cat on the couch eating ice cream and catching up on our DVR. So we kind of thought we would be doing the same thing this year... Mama Farmer has always had the 4th of July party at her house and we could go down and eat and set the fireworks off for the kiddos and then bail. But this year my Sister In Law had told us that she would be having the 4th of July party at her house. Because Mama Farmer just can't mess with it this year Sister Farmer said she would do it... Great!! Mr. Farmer and I can make an appearance and hang out with the kiddos and then bail out and get a good nights sleep :::WINK WINK::: Well yesterday afternoon Sister Farmer calls Mr. Farmer with a grocery list of excuses why she can't have the 4th at her house!! And since Mama can't have it then that means we GET TO HOST IT!!! How great!! But the icing on the cake was this whole time she has been inviting everyone and their brother's cousin's, step brother's, mother in law to the party... And telling them it will be at: Mr. & Mrs. Farmer's house!!!! So hell now I have to scramble around and get everything in order for the whole neighborhood + cousins, in laws and out laws. While I'm working everyday this week!! BUT get this: Sister Farmer works for the local school corp. So she is out of school for the summer! And she could be getting her place ready for the party but one of her excuses was she wouldn't be able to because she has to work at the local fair on Saturday for 4 hours... What the Hell?!!! I'm just a tad overwhelmed now! I do LOVE having parties! And the 4th of July is one of my very favorite holidays but I don't like having to rush at the last minute getting food together pulling out decor etc because someone dumped their party on me!! Am I being a little whiny? Do I have a right to be upset with My Sister in Law? I just feel dumped on!! Like I said I do love having people over and I love the 4th! But the plan was that she was going to have the party NOT us!!! Oh and let me add one more insult to injury: I have to work Monday!!! So not only will I have half of our neighbors in my yard/barn and house till all hours I will have to drag my ass out the door to work early in the morning!! Not FAIR!!!!

Why Me?

You know how I posted all those smart and snappy remarks to use for when some one came up to me and asked why Mr. Farmer and I still hadn't produced any children... Well those funny little remarks flew right out of my head yesterday when a guy I have worked with for 7 years said one of the most terrible comments I have ever gotten.... I was sitting at my desk minding my business as usual. He came by to stand in my office door since my office is near the sales fax. Jim pokes his head in and asks: So Mrs. Farmer how was your Mother's Day? I shrugged my shoulders and said Jim you do know that I don't have kids right? Oh yes I know... So did you have a good Mother's Day. And so I said yes it was fine, I planted flowers and spent some time with My Mother In Law. And then he proceeds to ask me: So Mrs. Farmer will this be the Last Mother's Day you celebrate with out children?... OMFG!!!! He even laughed after he said it... Like he had just told the funniest joke of the day. I sat there and imagined smashing his head in with my fist... And pulling out that evil tongue that said such nasty things. And do you know what? The only thing I could think up to say was WOW! I think I shook my head looked down at my hands and said wow a second time and then I told Jim I don't know? Why don't you tell me? Is this going to be the last one? I literally had to bite the insides of my cheeks as he walked away so I could keep from crying! I would never in a million years have said that to someone who didn't have children. Esp if I had worked with them for 7 years!! And that person had not had children and didn't ever talk about children. You would kind of get the hint that it might be a tad taboo!!! I'm still flabbergasted today as I type this out. Why do people think that it's funny? And why would they think it was their business to know that kind of personal information while waiting on a fax? I hate people.... I hate people I work with... I hate people who think they should know every juicy bit of information about you but never share the slightest bit of information about themselves... I hate that I'm the type of person that gets hurt by stupid people like that!

This Saturday night depending on the weather... Mr. Farmer and I will be heading out to his High School Mixer. Which is usually tons of fun. But because of the timing we don't always get to go because of planting season and the fact that crops need to get put into the ground before we can party. So the last 2 years we haven't made it to the mixer. So this year could be the first year we have gone since we have been officially TTC. And I know the phrases that I love to hear will be thrown out there and then they will be followed by awkward silences. I'm just hoping I can get tanked up really good this year and I won't remember any of the rude questions about our still being childless or I get really tanked up and throw some not so nice comments back!

Mr. Farmer is 6 years older then me. And so many of the couples that we know have children that are already in Kindergarten and a few are even older then that. Some of these couples have been together as long as Mr. Farmer and I have been together. We were just a little slower at getting married. Hubby and I dated for 5 years before we got married so altogether we have been a couple for nearly nine years!!! So every time we get together with his crowd we have to hear all kinds of "helpful advice" not so nice comments and some actually down right rude comments.

But this time around I'm going to implement a plan to counter attack the nosy fertile ones... See below!!!

Here are my top 5 excuses that I'm going to use when someone comes up to ask why we haven't had any kids yet... Or some other idiotic question regarding my reproductive status! This time I'm going to be prepared!

1.) Well see I don't want to loose my School girl Figure... (::Insert hysterically drunk laughing here:: and then point at the woman who said the above comment or point to said commenter's wife and say:: "like you/she did"::and then laugh again::)

2.) Well see I like to be able to drink alcohol till my face turns numb!!! And you can't really do that if your knocked up or have a kid hanging on you...

3.) Well we don't have to worry about getting home to relieve a babysitter. Heck we could drive to Florida tonight and we wouldn't have to tell a soul!

4.) Mr. Farmer and I can sleep in as late as we want after an all night drinking binge. And we don't have to worry about having to get up to take care of a little kiddo.

5.) My 1968 Brittany Blue Mustang would not look very cool with a baby seat in the back

I'm sure I don't have to explain that I would gladly give up all these things for the rest of eternity if I knew I could have child in my arms... But by actually acknowledging that we have a problem to some of these idiots would just make it ten time worse. So for me and Mr. Farmer it's easier to think of funny or not so nice come backs to say to nosy people who don't really need to know our reproductive status... Please think of some more good come backs and share them in the comments!! I'm sure we are going to need them!

Love & Hugs

OxyMoron

Now I just want to remind you all that I live in INDIANA! Indiana is in middle of The United States of America... Not Europe!
So While I was driving to work Friday I saw this car on the highway. I literally laughed all the way to work. By the time I got to work I was kicking myself for not having gotten a picture of it.
So that I could share it with you all...
But this morning I was on my way to the bank to make a deposit and I saw the very car that made my day last week sitting in a parking lot in front of our old movie theater. So I had to turn around and take a picture! This person is a GENIUS!!!!
Just thought I would share a funny with you all!!