Plan B

This is my first time participating in the ICLW. And I have to tell you it has some what opened my eyes. I don't feel as hopeless. I don't know why but reading other women's struggles has helped me to see this all in a different light. I’m so thankful that Mel started her blog. Reading other women’s stories has put my little struggle into perspective. All last week I was despairing. I was so disappointed in what wasn’t happening to me. But I found that I should be happy that I’m not at the 7 or 10-year mark. I haven’t had to deal with the emotionally stress of giving myself shots or going in everyday for ultrasounds. My journey isn’t as advanced as some. And in a way I guess I should be doing more. And I see that now. I have read so much but I have scared myself into just staying in the familiar. Instead of moving on and calling the Reproductive Endocrinologist, which I knew was probably the only way this is going to happen for me. But in the past 3 days I have come to the realization that it’s not just going to happen unless I do more. My hubby and I were talking about it all last night and now he thinks I should try the RE. I told him everything I have been reading the past couple days from all of the lovely comments and blogs. And I think its time to take the next step in this journey. I was too scared before. I'm still a little scared but hopeful now. I can't stay on this treadmill any longer. We need to move forward. So tomorrow I'm going to call and make the appt. I have no idea how long it will take to be seen. We only have 2 RE’s in the area and that worries me. Because I have heard it does take a while to get into them. This is one of the things that concerns me, that it will take several months and the other is that they are both men. Call me a prude but I have never gone to a male gyno before. I always had a theory that you wouldn't take your car to a mechanic if he has never driven a car so why would you want to see a man about female problems... I know it's dumb! but a man doesn't have any true idea of what menstrual cramps are like. I guess you can call me naive. But that is how I feel. My hubby and I went out to celebrate my birthday last night and after dinner we drove around and talked for a long time. About things we both haven’t wanted to bring up. But now we have a plan and I guess we are getting ready to implement it. Stay tuned…