What If...

What if I can't give my husband an heir... I know this isn't Mid-evil times. This is not the year 1510!! Why? Do you ask, am I'm acting like it is? Let me explain my madness...

My husband is a farmer. And as such, farm families pass the ground & business on to the next generation. My husband is the last in his family, his father had 2 brothers none of whom had sons so the farm passes to my husband. Mr. Farmer is the last of 5+ generations farming and living on this ground. And he has no one to pass this on to. His ground has been in his family for hundreds of years. I know it has come up between his mother and father about what is going to happen to "The Farm" when they die. What will happen to the ground they poured their very blood, sweat and tears into?

What if I can't give a child to my husband?

This thought keeps me up at night. I'm the first wife in this long line of Farmer women who could not produce an heir... If this was the year 1510 I could be beheaded for not producing an heir!! I realize my husband is not that shallow as to leave me for some one who could produce a child. But I want more then anything to give him the sons/daughters he deserves.

What if... We turn 70 and we have no children? We will end up having to sell his family's heritage, and history instead of having someone to pass that legacy on to...

What if... We never have a biological child but we get the opportunity to adopt and can create a new legacy!! And his name will still have chance to live on? I hope that no matter what we will have a child, whether it is born through my body or through my heart. I will give him a child!!

Please go over to Mels blog and read other IFs.

www.resolve.org/infertility101

www.resolve.org/takecharge

Answers for Marla and Circus Princess

Marla,
No we do not name all the hens or the rooster's there are just way too many. And quite a few of them look a lot a like. Although there is one little hen that has been named. She is a funny little gal that was hatched with a deformed leg. And hops around like she has a kick stand. She is a cute little gal. Mr Farmer named her Petie. Why he named her a boy's name I don't know but that's her name. She hides from the roosters and the other hens. Because chickens can be mean to one another. That is where "The Pecking Order" originated from. They can be down right terrible to one another. So Petie hides and we give her a special pile of food that the others can't get at. And the roosters are pretty much to blame when it comes to who gets pecked on.

Circus Princess,
Our roosters don't seem to need the Viagra. Those roosters are quite virile. So I don't think we will be calling the local vet for a big "boost of confidence" for my roosters.
But I think what really helps them perform is: Mama Farmer will fry all the slackers...
I think that little tactic keeps the roosters on their toes and in their peak performance

Now about the eggs: there is a VERY slim chance of getting a fully formed chick. It is usually only a problem if you don't keep track of your chickens or where they lay their eggs. And if you are not out gathering your eggs EVERYDAY!!! Some hens will hide their eggs if they are free range (meaning out in the "wilderness" 24 hours a day.) They will set on them for several days and then finally we humans stumble upon them and throw them in the basket... And instead of a fried egg you could end up with a fried chicken... It can be pretty gross!! But if you keep your chickens in a run so they can go out in the sun throughout the day. And then have a place for them to roost each night they will lay their eggs in the coop and not hide them. That way you won't have to worry about having half-formed chicks... Which by they way is about the worst start to your day!!!

Double Yolks: I know that some of our hens are pretty consistent at laying double yolked eggs or as my 5 year old nephew says: A Double yodder... They say that some of the bigger hens can lay double yodders every time. Not sure why some of them can and some can't It might be the DNA... Who Knows!! Also some of the little bitty hens called Banty's (Bantam is the proper name) they have little bitty eggs almost half the size of a regular chicken egg. When they first start laying they some eggs won't even have a yolk in them. So that would be an no yodder!!...

OxyMoron

Now I just want to remind you all that I live in INDIANA! Indiana is in middle of The United States of America... Not Europe!
So While I was driving to work Friday I saw this car on the highway. I literally laughed all the way to work. By the time I got to work I was kicking myself for not having gotten a picture of it.
So that I could share it with you all...
But this morning I was on my way to the bank to make a deposit and I saw the very car that made my day last week sitting in a parking lot in front of our old movie theater. So I had to turn around and take a picture! This person is a GENIUS!!!!
Just thought I would share a funny with you all!!

The Hen House

I want to introduce you to the little ladies that rule the roost down at the Farm... These little ladies are busy little bees. Let me tell you. They have about 5 roosters terrorizing them at all hours of the day.... But they are happy little gals and they fill my egg basket every night. The pictures are a little fuzzy cause the lighting is terrible in the coop and a chicken NEVER stands still!!!!


Patiently waiting for cracked corn and ground feed

Edna looks like she's dancing but really she is just heading down to Sally's cubby so they can chat about that stud of a rooster...

I wish you could hear the noise. Chickens and roosters are so freaking loud!! It's incredible all the noise that goes on in a little coop

This is the end that an egg comes out of... Yes Little Miss Sally is entering her little cubby to lay her daily egg

The Headless Chicken... No not really she is just really into getting that corn at the bottom of the bunk that she isn't even paying any attention to me

This guy thinks he is Hot stuff. All the ladies want him... Well shall call him Antonio

One of the 6 things Chickens do all day long. Peck, eat, poop, get nailed by the sex crazed roosters, lay eggs, & sleep

Now the Roosters day is a little different then that... But I won't go into his day. Let's just say he does one thing over and over and over again....

Poor Girls!!!

The Un-Anniversary...

In 2 weeks we will be hitting an anniversary I never thought we would ever get to. I remember being so naive in thinking that it would probably take Mr. Farmer and I awhile to get pregnant... 6 months maybe. A year tops!... But now we are nearing the 2 year mark of officially Trying To Conceive. I'm not going to say that I'm mad or even aggravated. I actually think at times I feel a little blessed for all the time we have had together. Other times I don't... I do think we have grown a whole lot in the last 2 years. Especially in the last year. I feel somewhat calloused though. Not as trusting as I was back then. I sometimes miss that young impressionable Mrs. Farmer. The one who read from cover to cover 2 separate times: "What to Expect when your Expecting." Thinking that by the time I finish this book the 2nd time we should be pregnant! I remember thinking that if I wasn't thinking positive thoughts I could send bad vibes to my uterus.... I had all these cute innocent little ideas I had thought up. The first year we were trying I found myself buying clothes for a baby that didn't even exist! I had little toys and nursery decorations too! Now all those things are sitting in a wardrobe that was once in my own nursery as a child. I swear at times I can hear those play things whispering to me... Sometimes they are taunting me. Telling me they will never ever be played with! Because I jumped the gun! I bought toys for a phantom baby!.... And other times I swear they are whispering apologies to me. Saying how they feel sorry for the fact that I have a wardrobe full of baby things and no baby to use them.

Yes I know I'm nuts!! I hear toys talking! I swear it's just infertility induced craziness! But maybe it's not! Maybe it just took the infertility to make it surface. And that in turn is why I'm still not Knocked the F&*K up!!! I'm too mentally damaged to have children...

I have been contemplating boxing them up tight maybe double boxing them and then wrapping duct tape around the whole freaking thing and putting them in the attic at Mama Farmer's house. I think that after 2 years I probably should. I think I'm being a glutton for punishment if I keep them in that damn wardrobe. I remember how I used to open it up and unfold those little clothes and just imagine a little body filling those hollow little outfits. He would have his father's eyes, my cheeks, his father's temperament and maybe even my eyebrows. But now I just don't see him anymore.