Private confession From an Infertile Mad Woman...

I don't want to jump the gun but I am an infertile, crazy women who gets freaked out by the littlest things!!! So I thought I would let you all in on the crazy little hope that I'm hoping for today. I won't find out until tomorrow. But today I can live in this moment. I have been faithfully using fertility friend for a long freaking time now. And this cycle is looking pretty good. Actually it looks freaking fantabulous!!! So tomorrow morning if my temp goes up I will know whether or not my body does what every other women seems to be able to do with out even batting an eye. OVULATE!!! I cheated just a tad and typed in tomorrows temp of 97.2 just to see if I could get some cross hairs and I did. It was the most beautiful thing in the world!! Besides maybe an ultrasound... But I'm getting way ahead of myself. I want cross hairs so freaking bad its not even funny. I want to see my self have a "normal" cycle. Just once!!! I'm to the point that I don't even care if I get pregnant this cycle which it would be freaking awesome if I did. But I know that I will have my self all juiced up this coming cycle that I don't see how I couldn't get knocked up. I just want to know that my body does know what to do. And can do it on occasion. Just when she feels like it... So please pray with me that my temp goes up and I can actually confirm an ovulation. That's all I really want this cycle. I know getting pregnant would be the greatest thing in the whole freaking world!! But I'm not going to go wishing for the moon. But please Lord just let me see some cross hairs that stay put!! And don't vanish or go dashed the next few days. I really want to have just 1 real cycle!!! Oh just so you know I do realize that I would have already ovulated by now but I just want to see it on a computer screen! Just so I can shout at the top of my lungs that: YES!!! I CAN OVULATE!!!!