Negative!!!!!!!!!!

Negative!!!!!!!!!!! My first cycle using this damn thing and it bombed!!! Big time!!! I had this little voice in the back of my head telling me it wasn't going to work. But I tried to tell my self to be Positive don't be Negative!!! You have to give it a try!! You'll never know unless you try!!! So I tried and I failed!!! Thats that!!! I know its just the 1st cycle that I've used it so I should just shrug this off and try again. So here we go again!!! The roller coster of infertility is soo great!!

Confused!!!

Ive kind of been avoiding my little blog here lately. I wanted to write but I didn't know where to begin so I did the easiest thing I could do: I stayed away from my computer!!!
My Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor and I have had a rocky relationship this cycle. She was fine and dandy for 5 whole days, then out of no where on day 6. The first day I was supposed to test, she froze!!! Nothing!!! She just couldn't do it. So I called the help line from the company had a thoroughly embarrassing emotional breakdown on the phone with one of the reps and they sent me a new one without even getting my old one back from me!! Plus 2 boxes of ovulation predictor sticks. So that was over-nighted to me. And I thought now maybe we can get back to business... No pun intended. So I peed on those little sticks everyday for days and days it seemed like and as Christmas rolled around I just hoped and prayed it would actually show my little egg on the screen. Well on Christmas it was still showing low fertility but I was okay with that, because I was at least doing something. This little monitor felt some what like a safety net or a magic 8 ball. I had SOMETHING!!! So we go to all of our little family Christmas parties and it was at my husband's grandmother's party that I got trapped into the conversation I wasn't sure I wanted to have yet. His cousin's wife had been trying to conceive for 2 years (little to our knowledge they always said they didn't want kids but oh well...) and so she had made an appointment with a specialist here in town. It was going to take about 3 months for him to see her so she was just going to wait. But then her girlfriend had given her the Clear Blue Easy Monitor and told her to use it till she saw the new doc. So she tried it and sure enough it worked!!! Well it worked for one because she is regular as clockwork. But I didn't say that. She has been trying to get me to get one for awhile but I really didn't want her knowing my business. See its okay for the whole of the blogging world to know that I'm not regular but I really don't want my family or my hubbs family to know!!! So she got knocked up and is the cute little pregnant momma I always wanted to look like... Well she started to grill me to see what we were trying now. If we had seen a specialist and I said no my crazy doctor wanted me to buy one of those damn monitors like what you used even though I'm not regular just to see if anything is happening. Then she said that she believes in them 100% and I didn't want to say well the jury is still out on my decision but I wasn't going to be all negative about it. Then she said that her first fertile day was a Peak she didn't even have any High days before her peak so to watch out and keep an eye on it. (duh) And that first peak for her was the 16th. Well it just so happened that I was standing there talking to her on my 14th cycle day. But I wouldn't let my hopes get up. I couldn't!!! So we go home I tell hubby about the convo with his knocked up cuz. And did the calculations in my head... (the 16th would be Saturday morning!!!) Well we went home next morning nothing. And then Saturday was a High day!!! Woohoo!!! We took advantage of that really quick!! I almost couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it. It was so cool!! Then every day for 10 days it was HIGH!!! I really started to worry when I didn't get a peak I had thought this would work and now I'm not so sure anymore. This past Monday it went back to LOW!! Day 26 of cycle!! I'm kind of down now. I don't really know where I stand. Then yesterday it was low and announced that Aunt Flow should be knocking on my door soon!!! Which I have no symptoms of what so ever. So if I don't get it I have to take a test. But it wouldn't show a positive till at least 2 weeks!!! But when would I calculate the 2 weeks from? the first high day or the last? See how this really F@cks with our heads!!! No wonder we all cry at the drop of a hat!!! So now I'm not going to allow my self to get my hopes up. This thing couldn't possible work!!! Or could it? I hate the 2 week wait...

Merry Christmas

This Christmas has been a touch emotional for me. I can't believe how blessed my husband and I have been this year. The last several days I've been thinking about my Farmer and how he acts when he wants something or sets a goal, he goes after it and does not stop until he gets it. Case in point: Our New Barn. He worked so hard to get it. He moved mountains (dirt lots of it. And with a tractor) to get this here for our little farm. For our business to be more productive. I'm soo proud of him!!!
He works SOOO hard for us to have a good life and a happy warm home and I want to appreciate him for that. I don't know if its the left over hormones in my system or what. But I could just cry when I think about everything he does for me. Words can't describe how I feel for him and I don't even want to try cause they would just sound contrived. So please think about the ones you love today and throughout this holiday. Be thankful for what they do for you, and not what they don't do or what they could do better. And have a VERY MERRY Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!
Love & Hugs to all!!!!

A Modern Day Barn Raising

Well they finally started on our barn this week they showed up with the materials on Tuesday. And started to build on Wednesday. They say they will have it done by this coming Tuesday. Dear Hubby has been like a kid on Christmas morning all week!!! I love it!!! His eyes are just shining now!!! I'm so happy for him!! He is finally getting his wish!! This farm is truly turning into "His" Farm!! His finger print is starting to show on so many projects and I've never been more proud!!! The pictures above are from today and below are from yesterday

A Christmas present for a little Farmer

Yes it is right around the corner and I just wanted to share a gift my husband has been working on for our nephew. He is head over heels in love with his uncle's tractors especially his combines. So when Chuck comes to uncle Farmer's house he is just in awe. Uncle Farmer will take him for rides on the Big Combine or the other tractors and when they come inside Uncle Farmer has 2 rooms full of toy tractors (that are collectors items) and he wishes he could play with them but he can't. So C. was in Rural King this past summer with his mama and found out that there is a Pedal Combine!!! And oh my goodness he has pestered us all to take him in and buy it. Well when that didn't work his Grandma told him to write a letter to Santa. In the meantime while C. was waiting on a reply. Grandma T. went to town and picked up a pedal combine, Uncle Farmer put it together and T. and I took a bunch of pictures of it, in front of a backdrop with a little Christmas tree and Grandma T. mailed him a Christmas card with a letter from Santa and pictures of a pedal combine that Santa was going to bring him if he was good... Well C. was SOOO shocked that he got a letter back from Santa that he has been EXTRA good!!!



Well Farmer thought you can't have a combine without a head carrier so he made one this past week to go with his combine and I just had to show everyone. I'm soo proud of my hubby!!! Anyway take a peak at the pictures below I took the pictures of the boys when they were here at our house with their papa. Farmer and I had put the Pedal Combine in our back bedroom and shut the door, thinking this would keep him from peeking. Well I had got my hands full with helping his older brother get cleaned up for lunch and I left him in the living room alone for maybe a minute and a half tops!! Well that was long enough for him to wander into the dark laundry room to the shut up back bedroom, open the door and sneak in!!



Well I came around the corner looking for him and I knew he was in there. He came tip toeing out all excited and grinning from ear to ear!!! He comes up to me and whispers "Uncle Farmer HAS A PEDAL COMBINE!!! He was speechless!!!" This little 3 year old kid was awe stuck!!! He couldn't believe what he had just seen. So I said yes that is Uncle Farmer's Pedal Combine and he doesn't want anybody playing with it. And then he said like those (pointing to the tractor rooms) and I said yes. While I'm trying to keep my composure with out laughing and scooping him up in my arms and saying: no C. Auntie Farmer can't lie to you this is really yours. Instead I said Uncle Farmer would be very upset if you were to mess it up. So his little face fell and I said why don't we go and tell your papa what we found... Well I got them outside and told my Brother in Law what had happened and papa told C. that Uncle Farmer loves combines soo much that when he comes in at night he rides this one all round the house while Aunt Farmer cooks dinner!! I was snorting I was laughing so I hard. I had the vision of my 200lb husband peddling around our kitchen island with this little bitty combine tucked up underneath him... Oh lord it was a bad mental picture. Well not to much was said that afternoon but the next day C. had his mom call Farmer cause he had a deal to make. He told Uncle Farmer that he would trade his Old pedal Tractor, and wagon for Uncle Farmer's Combine!!! (He thought this all up himself!!!) Well Uncle Farmer was holding back the laughter and trying to be serious because C. was dead serious. So Farmer tells him that he isn't done with the combine yet. And he would have to think about the deal. Then C. said he would give Farmer his dog Chewy too. Farmer said "well how about you go to the dentist and then we will think about it". Well C. didn't like that idea because he HATES the dentist. So he said: Me getting a pedal combine from Santa!!!! And hung up!!!!
So the following week was C.'s older sister T.'s birthday and we ran over to give her a birthday present. While we there C. brought out his old pedal tractor and wagon and started heading for the door (it was dark and raining out) and his mom says where do you think your going? He says "I'm trading my pedal tractor for Uncle Farmer's Pedal Combine!!!" Well Farmer says I don't think that's enough to trade for it C!! So C. runs back to the toy room with the wagon and pedal tractor. He was back there for a good while. So by the time we were ready to go he comes out with the pedal tractor wagon behind it was full of EVERY toy tractor that boy had even a couple of his brothers toy tractors too!!!! He jumps off and says "Is this enough?" Uncle Farmer started to smile and tried to hold back the laugh that was creeping in. And said C. I don't think so. Then C. thinks for a minute. And says your getting Chewy too!!! How about Big C.? (Big C. is his older brother) And Farmer said C. I still don't think that's enough. Then C. says: Okay and sighs, "how about T., Big C., Chewy and all this?" Farmer couldn't keep it in any longer we all were laughing and C. was getting irritated. Farmer asked him who would you play with then? He says: "Meow Meow" (The cat) and my pedal Combine!!!!!!!!!

Well of course we couldn't win with logic like that but he still hasn't gotten it yet but he will in a couple of weeks. And for now we are dodging the calls...





And yes that is Miss Pissy Missy herself. I can never get a picture of her when I want to take a picture of her. When I want to take a picture of something else she magically appears...