CD1 & Test Results

Yippee Skippy!!!! I had a visitor stop in and see me this morning!! She will be probably be staying at the old farmhouse for a few days. But she isn't un unexpected guest all though I do hope that this will be my last visit from this guest for at least a year or longer....

Yes my aunt flow arrived in all your glory and I can't say that I'm not excited. I could barely contain my excitement as I called my RE's office this morning. I was trembling to be quite honest. I told the receptionist the news and she said she would have the NP call me back for my appt times. When Colleen the NP called back I got some interesting news. Evidently my Dr. B. has just come back from a infertility convention last month. I guess they now have proof that insemination will increase your odds of conceiving by 15%. So he is now wanting all of his patients to look into and at least think of the possibility of insemination. So that really surprised me. I'm really not ready for that. I had just gotten used to the idea of Timed Intercourse. But I guess we will take all this info in stride.

Mr. Farmers SA was great.
Count was 217 Million
Motility 65%
Morphology 12%

She said the morph was low but not a problem because the count was so high. But Dr. B. hasn't looked at his numbers yet. But she said over all this was a great SA! So I was happy to hear about that. I have heard that different offices have different normal ranges so her normal ranges were as follows.
Count: Greater then 40 mil
Motility: Greater then 50%
Morphology: 30%

So at my CD 3 blood work I will find out what Dr. B. will suggest. I talked to hubbs and we both agree that insemination is too big of a step right now. So we won't do that just yet. I feel like we haven't even really be able to try naturally because I never ovulate. So if I can get pregnant the old fashioned way with a lot of medication I would feel more comfortable with that. I am in no way saying anything about insemination being bad. I'm just saying that I'm not prepared for it. It takes me awhile to get used to big plans. And I had slowly gotten used to the idea of injectables. So this really has been hyperventilating!! But hopefully Dr. B. will agree that we should just try a TI cycle 1st!

Well that's all I got for now!! Have a wonderful weekend Chickie's!!
Love & Hugs
Mrs. Farmer:)

Veteran's Day

On this Veteran's Day I want to introduce my hero. This man is amazing. He has served his country now for 5 years. And yesterday he re-enlisted to serve 3 more. This man has done 2 tours in Iraq and countless other deployments all over the globe.
This man is my baby brother. I can't say enough good things about him. He is my shoulder to cry on. Even though he is thousands of miles away from me. I can always count on him to make me laugh on the dark days. He some how knows the perfect moment to call me. He has always been that way. I guess it's some kind of sixth sense he has. He is such a caring individual. He is so proud to serve his country and to do the job he does. I just want you all to meet my hero. This guy is adorable I hate the fact that I don't see him like I want. But I have to share him with my great country and I'm good with that. I'm so proud that there are people in this great country like my brother who give up so much to protect our way of life. I want to tell everyone who serves and has served, THANK YOU!!! I can't say it enough!! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

I only have this picture in digital format to share but I will post some more when I get home tonight. I can't keep a whole lot of pics on my computer at work. He is the one on the far left in the red helmet.

5 Days on Prometrium...

Makes me a mood swinging, hot flashing, tantrum throwing, crazy woman!! I broke down and cried in the hallway at the RE's office yesterday morning. I don't understand why these hormones have to be this hard on me?

Let me recap so you all can catch up on the story...

Friday afternoon on my way home from work I realized we had never scheduled Mr. Farmers SA. And I had already called in on Thursday to tell them I was at CD35. So we had to get on the ball!!! I called and left a msg to tell them I had blundered and forgot to get his SA set up so we need to do it ASAP!!!

So I knew they probably wouldn't get back with me that day, but at least I had gotten a message in. Then Sunday morning bright and early Deena with Dr. B's office calls and said that we can set it up for Tuesday morning at 8:00am. I say okay I will be bringing it cause Hubbs has too much on his plate right now so I will bring the boys myself. She said that's fine. Just get them here within the hour. I said okay we can do that!!!

So Tuesday rolls around I'm sure you know what happened in the morning. I don't think I need to give you details. I had to get out the door with the little guys as fast as I could. I put the specimen cup in my bra and headed south. I had to get there quickly!! I was so worried that I would get pulled over but I had to get there quickly. Thank God for my fuzz buster. I have never in my whole life felt that funny before. I felt quite protective of the little guys. I kept a coat over my chest and kept my hand over that just so they wouldn't get cold. I felt so responsible for them. I hated to think that something could happen and they would be wasted. I don't know if it was because of the hormones or what but I tell you I was on a freaking mission to get those little guys looked at!!

Well I pull into the lot of the hospital around 7:35 and I move the boys from between my boobs to the underside of my arm and inside my bra. Cause I didn't want the people in the waiting area thinking I had 3 boobs. And then I threw my coat on and ran inside. Up the elevator and then down the super long, lonely hall way to Dr. B's office. But when I turn the corner to open the glass door of the fertility clinic I find the door locked and all the lights inside turned off. I was stunned!!!! These little guys were swimming around in my arm pit waiting to be checked out and no body is here to check them out!!! WTH? Are you fu$king kidding me? I have just driven down the highway 80 miles an hour swooping in and out of rush hour traffic after reading on you all's paper work that the sooner I got these little guys here the better. I'm here and you are not!! WHY ME?!!! So I stood there at the door right under a video camera and cried!! I cried hard. I snorted and snotted and boo hoo'd right there in front of the security camera. Then I wiped my eyes and called Mr. Farmer he couldn't believe it either. We had been led to believe that this office was open early so women could come in and get blood drawn in the early am. But I guess today of all days they weren't doing that. So Hubby tried to calm me down. But all I could think about was those little guys sitting in my arm pit and that their time was ticking away and soon it would be gone!! So I stood there under that security camera and Hubby kept telling me it would be okay. And that it wasn't a wasted trip... But in my heart I felt like I failed the little guys...

I waited for what seemed like hours. But really it was only 24 minutes but it felt like an eternity. I saw the pudgy little receptionist coming down the long, lonely hallway with her lunch box, work bag, coat and purse all in her arms laughing along with another nurse from her office. I guess she couldn't sense that I had just finished having a melt down at the end of her hallway. And all she was worried about was clocking in 1 minute before they "opened." She unlocked an unmarked door several doors down from where I stood under the watchful eye of the security camera. And she and the nurse disappeared behind the door. It was 2 minutes after 8:00 when the front door was finally unlocked. By that time my heart felt so heavy when I walked through that door. And yes I know it was probably because of my hormones. But it was "too late" I didn't get them here under the hour mark. I felt like I failed!!!

I had to fill the paper work out for my hubbs and I wrote the time and everything down. They never said anything about it. She acted like business as usual so maybe they were okay. We won't hear back I guess until the end of the week. Cause the doc has to read the results and he isn't at the hospital I go to except 2 weeks out of the month so they will have to fax them to his home office 3 hours away. So keep your fingers crossed and pray all kinds of prayers for our little swimmers. And pray that they were still swimming when they finally got around to looking at them.

Oh and yes I know we could have had the hubbs do his thing down there in the office But my hubby was adamant about doing it at home. So going to the office was entirely out of the question.

And no AF has not shown her ugly face yet. I'm patienly waiting. I took my last pill Monday night and I have only had cramps and moodswings to show for it. So on top of praying for our swimmers pray that I get a period too!!!

Love & Hugs to you all!!!

CD 35

I made it to CD 35!! My damn body is so stubborn!! I POAS and it came back just like I expected it to! I have never POAS and not cried afterward. This was the 1st time I was not upset about a negative! I'm so excited to get this show on the road!! Even though my family has been turned on its ear lately I'm ready for us to get some happy news for a change. I had the weirdest day yesterday. I peed on my stick and then called the docs office and got the ball rolling for our new cycle. And then that evening I went to help my momma in law with the animals. She has a menagerie at her house. Its quite funny I call her Doctor Doolittle. The Docs don't want her to change her routine because of the cancer. They just want her to be careful about lifting and getting hit in the chest/breast plate. Because it could damage the port or the vein in the port. Or even pull the needle out that is running the chemo into her body for the next several hours. So I went down to help her feed. Which mostly I did the heavy lifting. Cause she is NOT an invalid!! Which she kept reminding me of. And then I fed the horses because they like to bump her around with their extra large heads and nuzzle her around the face. And so they wouldn't accidentally hurt her without meaning to. And she of course felt like I was babysitting her. But we made it through feeding and headed back up to the house. And set down to talk for awhile. She said that she had just been talking to her sister in law who said that her daughter had trouble with her periods and all she had to do was take clomid and she got pregnant 2 months later... (This girl just had her 4th child the day my MIL found out she had cancer) So I should just do what she did!!! And it would help me too!!! I can see that my MIL is worried that we won't get to have any kids and I don't really share all the dirty little details with her about my appts. But she knows a 100% more then my own mother knows at this point. I just thought it was cute and sad that she is more worried about Ryan & I having a child then she is about the chemo she is packing around with her. She is my hero!!!

When she was diagnosed she told the doctor that if anyone had to have it her family she was glad it was her. She didn't want anybody else to have to deal with it!!!
I don't know if I could be that way about it.

So last night I told her how my doctor feels like my problem is too big for clomid to help it. So we are doing some heavy duty drugs to start with. And she asked how long it will take to work? I said hopefully we will know by the 1st week or so of Dec if I'm pregnant. And then she said wouldn't that be a nice Xmas present? And I almost wanted to cry!!! So please God let me be able to give My MIL and hubby the bestest Christmas present ever!!!! Santa do you hear me too? I'm counting on you all to help me in this mission!!!! I want to be able to tell her at Christmas that she will have one more Grand baby that she has to fight cancer for!!!

Oh and while I was at lunch with my poppa today I got a phone call from one of my hubby's farm hands who said I won a prize off the radio. Our local radio station was giving away a spa package for 4 this week so I called in to enter. I really thought my MIL could use it and sure enough I won the darn thing!!! How awesome would that be? So maybe while I'm waiting to hear if I got KTFU I can take my MIL out and maybe my SIL and niece to get all pampered! So like I said its been a weird 24 hours but I wouldn't change it. And we are about 2 days out from getting all our crops in too. So its been a week of roller coaster moments but we get through it all some how.
I hope you all Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Love & Hugs

The C word...

I have avoided blogging for a week now. I just couldn't find the words. I'm still at a loss for where to begin or how to begin. Sometimes it seems like trouble just follows us. My husband and I. Now it seems to have filtered into our family. On Wednesday afternoon of last week. My husbands mother, the most wonderful person in the world was diagnosed with colon cancer. Our lives have just gone topsy turvey and I feel like I could vomit right now. I thought I would just go along and not blog about this because I am a somewhat anonymous blogger. But the more I sit here and keep it bottled up the more it hurts. I'm VERY VERY close to my MIL she is wonderful. My husband is very close to her too. She actually introduced me to her son. We have such a great relationship and now I may lose it. I feel so guilty for not being able to provide her grandchildren from my husband and I. I know how much she wants my hubby to have a baby boy. And so I guess I just needed to put this all out here and get it off my chest. I can't carry it around any longer. She doesn't want anyone to know just yet. So just our immediate family know and that's it. This morning we took her to the hospital to get a port set up in her chest for chemo treatments and as I'm typing this she is receiving her 1st round of chemo. All I can think of is I will lose the one women in my life who feels like my mother. My mother is not my mom. She isn't mentally stable and my MIL has always been there for me. She actually was going to be the one person I wanted with me when I delivered my children. I'm so scared and worried about her and my husband. I know this is just another trial in our life that will bring us all closer together.

Oh and to top it all off tomorrow I will have to call the RE for the start of this cycle!! Here we go medicated cyle. I'm so worried about all this. But Hubbs wants to go ahead with our plans. So PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY for us!!!! I'm soo going to need it!!!